


The trouble with dreaming is, you still have to wake up

by Ilovegreen007



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Down under fun im the sun, Dream Sex, F/F, Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Origin characrer Nan, Original character Pawpa, Partying, Reunions, Romantic Friendship, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovegreen007/pseuds/Ilovegreen007
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chloe Beale has become an all too constant distraction, popping up in Beca's vivid dreams as of late -the problem is that It's been over five years since Beca last saw her. But with Fat Amy's wedding coming up, along with the inevitability of them seeing each other again she wonders what she's been up to this entire time and why they lost touch in the first place.</p><p>Bellas together for a wedding. Crazy fun times will ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"Where the hell did that come from?" Beca Mitchell, up and coming LA music producer says, as she wakes up from a very explicit dream.

A very _sexy_ , vivid, almost too real dream that contained a very familiar red head, one that she had known in college, one Chloe Beale.

She was almost ashamed to say she was very much turned on at the moment and it was wrong to dream about Chloe that way. Hey- it's not like she planned it or anything.

They had been sorta close you could say, Bella Sisters and had known each other for a year and some but their experiences as a team, their first win ever had cemented a life-long friendship and bond between each and everyone of them.

And Chloe was supposed to be the one she'd be able to experience all the awkward overly touchy moments with, but... that didn't quite happen. She had moved to L.A and last she heard, Chloe was in New York. She couldn't believe that all of that had been almost five years ago.

Five years since she last saw Chloe. Since she last talked or anything with Chloe.

_Funny_ the way some people had a way of turning up in the most random of places.

But who was she kidding though? That had been a long time coming, Chloe Beale had sorta always been creeping up on her ever since she had waltzed into Beca's shower and shocked her to her very core.

Beca admits that she had never quite managed to shake her off-and now she was creeping into her subconscious.

A crush, an infatuation isn't supposed to last more than a few months-let alone withstand all these years.

Somehow, she can't quite let herself- let go.

Not that she hadn't tried dating people... people who weren't just unrequited loves that every non-straight girl goes through whenever they crush on one of their girl best friends. Except that the ones she dated -she realized later on, tended to remind her of Chloe or, if not, couldn't quite measure up to her.

Greg had blue eyes almostas bright, but not quite right. They didn't feel like they "smiled". 

O _kay, eyes don't smile_  but Chloe had smiley eyes whenever they regarded her with some kind of fondness, which was _always_. Beca never real got it, Chloe said it was cos she was"cute" and did the cutest things whenever she let her guard down.

Whatever, she doesn't _do_ cute. She's a badass, always has been. But she sorta misses having Chloe call her cute, it was almost bearable whenever she looked at her with those eyes.

Diana was warm and had red hair, but she never really "got her"-even Chloe with all her opposing world is a better place views with all her Love and Happiness and Let's all be friends Kumbayas, she still let her be her. She never once tried to change the brunette. Maybe she didn't quite give her a choice with all the hugs-the physical contact but other than that-she accepted Beca, ear monstrosities and all.

Maybe that's why she sorta imprinted on her-There was always something between them- sometimes, it felt _more_  than friendship-something like, a possibility. Something that could be, but it was never the right time.

Beca with Jesse, her with Tom.

Beca was never quite so sure. She didn't know if it'd had all been in her head. Chloe was _Chloe_ she couldn't quite know exactly where she stood with her. The only thing she was certain of was their friendship and after months and years of gradually decreasing emails, fb status updates, tweets and Im-ing-she wasn't even sure of that either.

Things had been silent between them for a long time.

What had been proven, as exhibited by the dreams she'd been having, was that she missed Chloe  _a lot_.

She just didn't know how to start-up their whole "friendship" thing, I mean she would have to settle with that for the mean time, but she still had to start  _talking_  to her first. But how, she wasn't updated with her contact numbers, any other way would seem formal and just weird, a message facebook of "Hey, I had a dream about you." would just be  _creepy_ and plain obvious _..._ and the last thing she wanted to do was scare her off.

Beca decided to mull it over and before she knew it, she was right where she left off in her dream.

* * *

It's funny, how some things just seem to work out, maybe it was fate lending a hand.

A few days later, Patricia's or more commonly known as Fat Amy's group message came in facebook no less- here's someone she kept in a contact with at a semi-regular basis. A save the date for her wedding, but it was also a group letter asking all the Bella's to fly out several weeks before for some catchin' up, so that she could show them yanks how they party down under.

Not that she would think to say no, it was after all an all-expense paid trip, Fat Amy had insisted on it. And she had not-so-sweetly stated, towards the end of her letter that, "they would all have to be there, as to not set off some Australian wedding tradition myth-" and that, they would get "the full backlash of being hunted down by her kangassasins ( _killer kangaroos)_ that she had specially ordered in, if they even thought of not showing up-but it was after all up to them. "Love you, skinny bitches."

In the Events posted on facebook called  **Aca-believe it Fat Amy's getting married** \- there was the choices of Yes, No or Maybe for the attendance. Under the names that had said yes, was Chloe Beale's.

Beca quickly follows suit-forgoing the maybe she was jokingly considering earlier.

  
  



	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka Beca has sexy dreams about Chloe and it's not a big secret and also Aubrey rekindles her great love-hate relationship with Beca through FB messaging.

Authors note: So this goes to second person from here on out, and for your viewing pleasure some smut.

* * *

 

Much later that week you receive the tickets and an itinerary, your assistant had it sent up to one of the studios where you had been working non-stop for almost 48 hours, tweaking some of the vocals in one of the mixes.

Too tired to even request for a coffee, you close your eyes and lay back on your cushioned chair.

* * *

_"Beca stop staring and just come to bed"-Chloe says teasingly._

_She's lying on her bed in Aubrey' and hers apartment back at Barden. it's amazing how in the dream you can recall everything in detail: her sky blue bookshelf stocked with all Medical books as well as the many ChickLit Young Adult novels (the only one you deign to acknowledge at all is the Hunger Games-cos c'mon Katniss Everdeen 'nuff said. Yes you read-especially because films are just blargh so might as well get the real deal while using your IMAGINATION right?), the feel of the soft white comforter is also very clear memory, the one Chloe used even in the heat because she said blankets always made her feel protected. You see her extensive and surprisingly good music collection cds, even vinyl (you knew you loved this girl) but more importantly you remember how beautiful she looked in just a plain old loose top that came to her knees -comfy and ready for bed...but that was you getting ahead of yourself. Because at that moment you can't quite move stunned by her radiance, her beauty-_

_"Beca you've been standing there for five whole minutes, so you want me to have to drag you?"When you don't respond, she moves to get off the bed._

_"Wait it's just, i'm afraid that this isn't real-no i know it's not i just...don't want to have to wake up." She comes closer to you know she takes your face in her hands-No way this was just a dream, you feel her warmth, you tingle everywhere where her bare skin makes contact with yours._

_"Shh, if this is a dream why don't you and I just make the most of it-" She leads your hands to her breasts, prompting you to take the next step,_

_"Chloe-I" She stops you then when she pulls you into a kiss so soft, warm, inviting-you swear dream kisses don't taste this good, feel this real._

_"Don't think, do. That's for waking...here it's all easy."She murmurs in between kisses, her voice turning husky as you finally move your hands firmly cupping, massaging her...you move to deepen the kiss-she grants you access with one swipe of your tongue on her bottom lip she groans her hands can't quite still themselves. Moving from your waist to grab your ass, then pull at your hair...and finally at long last you reach the bed._

_She sort of throws you down onto it and clambers over you, your hands had long ago moved up and under feeling her taut abs-but you want more skin, pushing at her shirt needing it off. Her mouth she latches onto your neck-finding that one spot that makes you go crazy your sure your on fire everywhere with her grinding on to you her hands trailing downwards and all the while you are still fully clothed... but she's making quick do of your pants you're glad you wore loose jeans this time around-she moves up a bit granting space for both of you to remove all the barriers hindering you. Your almost too embarrassed as she sees that your pants is already damp-but she smiles that sexy smile of hers_

_"Beca, for me? No you shouldn't have... bit excited are we?" she's smirking and you thought you owned the corner market of the whole smirking thing but on Chloe Beale-Shit...could you possibly be even more turned on, the answer-yes._

_But you quickly take advantage of her momentary distraction you flip her over-and you believe your going to stay there above her... at least in between her so you can wipe of that smug expression on her face "you have no idea Chloe, how long i've wanted this,what you'll be in for" You feel her whole body shudder when your lips begin a slow languid trail downwards now tasting what you had in your hands earlier-perfect now in your mouth the rosy tips you curl your tongue around, alternate between sucking with little nibbles here and there...you would like to stay there... feeling hearing Chloe's sounds, feeling her rapid breaths but you still have somewhere you have to go to. You stop at her navel you bite her there, but lick to soothe "I love your abs, the way you contract them...i'd always wondered how they'd feel like, and now i actually know how they taste" You see Chloe's eyes are a darker blue than you've ever seen before or as dark as it can be,_

_"And you know what..."you say in a warm deep tone you hardly recognize, your voice has gone all sexy_

_"What?" Chloe croaks out_

_"you taste even better than i imagined" you finally get to "the destination" and you smell her wetness before you actually feel or see it..."Hmm, now who's all excited"_

_Chloe doesn't even bother to respond-you rise up to take in her glorious features her whole face is one of desperation-her eyes are tightly shut a light sheen on her forehead she raises her hips into yours in an unspoken command...you want to freeze time, if you could- you would want this moment... her surrendering herself completely to you._

_She leads your hand down...you feel it her heat, the_  wetness, _where she is throbbing down there-and just before you enter her... you are gripped with wanting to tell her wanting her to know one thing "Chloe, wait chloe i just need you to know, I love... i've always loved-"_

* * *

"Beca, wake up-Beca!" you are shaken out of heaven, and you are not a happy camper when you fall out of your chair at the same time.

"What the actual fuck-Jesse!" you fume.

"Sorry, Becaw. My bad. I got a bit excited in waking you up again, didn't I?"

"Just a bit? Gee, Jess. Maybe, if you could also say Hitler was just a tad bit aggressive." you say, sarcasm naturally oozing out of you. This was a subject of many spats, his waking you up when he wanted to show you something so life-altering and just couldn't wait. Sleep who needed that. Yeah, not you.

"I said I was sorry." he says, offering to pull you up.

You scoff, all but ignoring his apology and his outstretched hand. You're keen to remain as angry as him for as long as possible, can't you have one minute of peace around here?

"-Don't touch me. Agh shit, my but hurts..." You roll onto your back on the carpeted floor hoping that it's clean _it better be._

"I thought you were having a nightmare, you were groaning and stuff-" You see him looking down at you all puppy-doggy with his eyes. You almost immediately berate yourself for giving in. You roll your eyes. Of course he didn't mean it.

Jesse was like the goofy, well-meaning brother that you dated for a while but realized friendship was all you could ever have with him...yes, it was _that_ uncomplicated.  _you really did excel in the usage of sarcasm._

Jesse gives up with the whole crouching down to talk to you as he too joins you as he lays down on the floor. He nudges you; it's an apology. You roll your eyes inwardly at yourself as you nudge him back as sign that all is forgiven.

But in all truth you can never stay mad at the idiot. You were quite the pair. Jesse and You. Jeca. You guys  _worked_  together somehow, a team, not quite in the romantic sense but you were used to each other by now, so it saved you the hassle of hiring some person who would take forever too learn all your preferences, your little quirks and take it in stride. So really, being friends with you ex had it's pluses.

"No, I was um groaning like- in a good way you know..." and also their was always a potential for everything to turn out awkward, Jesse had never dated anyone after you told him that,"I also like girls..."

He grins at you though, "No wonder you were so mad, you have been a tad  _frustrated_ these days Mitchell..seriously I'll set you up."

"Dude, you did not just say you'll set me up-"you groan okay this was a total minus(?) to having an ex become a buddy "-I'm just busy these days...and no one really catches my attention, you know, no one worth the effort-and I'm tired enough as it is."

"Hmm. Chloe keeping you up most nights huh, must be some wild dreams..."

"-What? Did you just say.Wha-.how'd you...know?" you are definitely hearing things, did he just.

"Oh, you said her name aloud, and well call me a creeper but when we dated and we use to watch movies all the time and you'd fall asleep every single time-I use to think subjecting you to endless movies was why you broke up with me, but I guess it's one of the reasons, but anyway...the point is you should know um it's not the first time i've uh heard you having a 'chloe dream' "

What okay you had "Chloe Dreams" before? Maybe you forgot when you woke up, some sort of way to suppress those tendencies you had towards Chloe. And Jesse had heard and witnessed it before, okay, now _that_  wasn't weird, like at all. What did you even say or do when asleep.

You can't even think-You don't want to. God poor Jesse. And all the while you thought you were a master at hiding your feelings. But you'd given yourself away...was it weird to be pissed at your own unconscious self?

Jesse probably sees the look of utter horror on your face, so like the good friend he is, he tries to make you feel better-except he doesn't really say the right things.

"C'mon, Becaw. You tell me that you also like girls and then you date a string of people with either red hair, or bright blue eyes, and gosh it was sorta obvious at times-you always loved those girls, but you always loved Chloe best- so it's _still_  Chloe huh?"

You turn to him you guys are parallel, facing each other, you wonder how everything turned serious suddenly, "I never, i didn't cheat on you..."

"I know, you aren't that type of person. I don't think you even realized just how much you couldn't really help yourself whenever she was around. I'm a lot more observant than you give me credit for..."

"I don't even know how to respond to that..." You can't quite look him in the eye. All this time he had known-you had been that transparent.

"It's okay Becs...c'mon hey look at me-" he forces you to look up tilting your chin a bit he gives you that reassuring smile of his...you realize that sometime over the years, he had accepted it all- that he had moved on.

"Everything's just, it's really weird. Where's this all coming from, I haven't seen her in ages..."

"Well, what about Amy's wedding aren't you going to see her then-I think she's flying in from London she was there on vacation with some friends." seeing the look on surprise on your face he begins to chuckle- the lightness once again restored "-I do have a facebook account and the college acapella world had always been quite close-knit especially the Trebles and Bellas after Bumper finally left."

"Yeah..." you feel hollow have you really been that busy to loose contact with not only Chloe, but everyone? Jesse worked almost the same hours as you and still managed to have a social life away from their whole business.

"-Maybe. Hey, Jess. You mind closing up? I'm _so_ exhausted, I probably won't get anything done-so I'll start from where I left off tomorrow-I mean later in the day, it's already morning...I'll take a quick shower, and maybe some early breakfast." you way through a yawn. You gather your things and you shut off all unnecessary equipment as you move towards the door both readying your things for later and getting ready to leave.

"Sure, sure-"Jesse gives you that awkward semi hug- the guy kind with the accompanying hard pats/thumps to your shoulder. You're sure he forgets sometimes that you're a girl."Bye bye Becs."

You're at the exit of the studio when he calls out "Better make the shower a cold one!" you chuckle good-naturedly,

You can't believe you dated that ass.

* * *

The next time you're fully conscious and gone online, people have started liking and replying to Fat Amy's group message.

Aubrey Posen posted this status two days ago:

See you all in a fortnight (I expect you all to know that's two weeks from today) attached are all the deats for those who haven't been updated  **BecaMitchell**

But you instead message her: Aca-excuseme, I am too, updated.  _you just can't resist-God, Aubrey in College was just..._

Aubrey promptly replies: It's Aca-scuseme, honestly Beca-you have been MIA as of late, Chloe too.  _You take that back- Aubrey in whatever period in her life is always just.._.there are no words.

You want to ask about Chloe but now knowing that Jesse had known, you have to be cautious-maybe Aubrey had an inkling as well she always was good at piercing through you with her laser beam "all-seeing-all knowing" eyes. It's annoying how your OC-controlling captain's influence still reached you. You swear your conscience even tends to sound like your old Bella captain- . Thank God she was on her laptop. _Safe_ -you roll your eyes at yourself.

Aubrey Posen: Don't roll your eyes, they'll get stuck one day.  _Holy..._ you look around, _maybe she had cameras installed,_ you wouldn't put it past Aubrey.

You are tempted to ask if her father taught her that...But you type: I've been busy-but I'll make the wedding... wouldn't want the killer koalas to come find me.

Aubrey Posen: It's not koalas it's kangaroos and they're assassins... she fires back not too long after

Never one to back off from a fight especially with Aubrey, your fingers type with purpose- the competitive side coming naturally

Beca Mitchell: aren't they the same thing killers, assassins...

You pause for a bit as you see she's still typing... at some point you guys had to grow up...you decide to let her win  _this time-_ and you erase what you had started to type and instead write, _  
_

Beca Mitchell: Whatever, we are once again arguing- glad to know not much has changed, but we are arguing over something pointless

Aubrey Posen: Yes, i'm just- i really miss our fights okay, the ones in person. I've been going through life unchallenged for far too long now.

Beca Mitcell: Are you inadvertently saying you miss me, My my Aubrey.

Aubrey Posen: Believe in whatever you want, Beca. It would be good to see all the girls, together again-especially You and Chloe...it would be good for us all to catch up

Beca Mitchell: I know what you mean, and i can't wait Aubrey-it was nice hearing from you but i gotta go...here i sent you my new number...you still keep the same one right?"

Aubrey Posen: Yes, it would've been better to ask if i had a new number before you sent it. But yes i received the message...i'll call sometime

Beca Mitchell: Yeah, yeah-not just too often i know you miss me but keep it in your pants okay Posen?

Aubrey Posen: You are disgusting, Beca Mitchell

Beca Mitchell: What are you going to puke on me-through the screen

Aubrey Posen: HAha, I've missed this, okay go i know you're late for work-keep in touch yeah we need to start planning for the bridal shower, bachelorette party the works-i'll need your help in this one special surprise i'm working on

Beca Mitchell: Ha! Told you, you misss me! wait what the hell, how'd you know i was late? And no, i won't be a stripper for her bachelorette no matter how much you beg me.

Aubrey Posen: i said this, the  _talks_ -i mean verbal sparring. And second, you always were late to practices, what's stopping you now especially when you are the boss of your own company and therefore, not necessarily required to be on time-you would totally take advantage of that privilege. Last of all Ew-now i really did empty my stomach contents, no one would beg you to be a stripper they'd beg you to put your clothes back on.

Beca Mitchell: Hey I'll have you know and too bad you'll never see it firsthand that i actually do have a rocking bod according to some...one

Aubrey Posen: Okay-rocking bod, who even says that...you totally made that up-and why would i accept some account of some stranger...of you

Beca Mitchell: Fine, then when you see her... ask Chloe

Aubrey Posen: Ask what? wait...Chloe. Chloe's seen you naked? When? OMG what-this is totally messing with my head explain yourself Beca Mitchell.

Beca Mitchell: This was back in Barden-you never knew about her going all out recruiting me- all the way to my shower?

Aubrey Posen: hmm...it shouldn't be surprising Chloe's just Chloe you know?

Yes and No the Chloe you knew before- was  _just_  Chloe but how would you know now.

You don not want to go into a conversation about Chloe-you don't really know how to act or reply if Aubrey starts telling you stuff about her. You don't want to be reminded of how much you've missed out on her life. And so you decide to abruptly cut the conversation short,

Beca Mitchell: Hey Posen...You won't miss the conversing with me if you keep doing it-give me some leeway I'll get back to you later...so g2g i do have to "work" P.S since we were talking about jobs... you know i always knew you'd be a great lawyer

Aubrey Posen: I smell trouble but okay I'll ask, Why?

Beca Mitchell: Because you never let anyone else get a word in with that mouth of yours and you were, no still are, a stiff, tough as nails bitch, Tata Aubrey, more where that came from ;)

Ha that was for her insult, Beca Mitchell does have a rocking Bod...okay it does sound lame, but you could totally be paid to take your clothes off.

You don't give her a chance to reply and quickly log out. You'll be getting an earful from her the next time you  _hear_ from her, you'll definitely hear a few choice words.

* * *

That was one relationship that would never change, the dynamic with the two of you, no longer loathing each other but having playful competitive bantering it was fun, you were glad for it, for that friendship.

You only hope yours and Chloe's could so easily be restored-and maybe rekindled.

Five years was a long time though, Chloe might just be very different from the girl you saw, you see... almost every night in your dreams-it was nice to hold on to the past, your past selves...it saved from worrying about the uncertainty of the future.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's in flight otw to the reunion. More bechloe background history.

On the flight over you mull everything over, feeling oddly anxious. Two weeks had passed by in a blink of an eye, and in a few short hours you'll be seeing everyone, seeing Chloe.

You wonder why you never see them, you promised when you graduated you'd see each other every month, every week even, so what happened? Life, maybe. But your group was supposed to be different...special. and its not like you don't miss them. You do. You wish you could go see them all the time, coop them up into a little room, just like practice at Bella rehearsals. The location didn't really matter, as long as they were all there.

This was a long flight though, you're actually tired of listening to or even just working on music-the impossible has happened. But you have left LA, and therefore everything work-related behind. You don't wanna think or even see another track mix till you get back. Thank goodness you have a more than capable staff. You've left your company in the right hands.

"Becaw, becaw! Hey...do you have some bubblegum my ears still won't pop." _Thankfully not his_. Jesse had come along, you were the one who actually asked him  _suprise suprise_ for moral support maybe?

But you had certain terms for the whole trip one of them-He had to sit by the window seat, it's not that you don't like the view, it's that you don't want to have to cross over him every single time you need to go to the washroom. And he doesn't really have a problem with that.

Also, most importantly, that he can't interfere with anything Chloe-related, like at all. No playing matchmaker thinking he could get the team "bechloe" or whatever he called it, the perfect ending.

"Shh! Jesse, I need quiet here. Why I didn't leave you behind, I don't know." you say, while handing him some gum. If you'd have left him behind though, you have a feeling you wouldn't have a company to come home to.

"In case you forgot, I'm friends with the groom too. So I did get an invite though, not a free one, so thanks for making me your plus one."

"Not like I had plenty of other choices, did I."

"There's that and also because you  _love_  me."

"Which is unfortunate, cos that means I'm stuck with you."

"Aw, aren't you a cute couple. How long have you been together?" some elderly lady is beaming at the two of you from across the isle.

You had hoped to avoid this kind of thing-interaction with numerous people by getting a first class ticket. You refuse to fly on a private plane you weren't- still aren't- confident that they are, well, safe. How can that small a plane withstand this amount of turbulence. Just thinking about the sort of plane crashes big planes get into makes you shudder to think of the damage there would be on a little plane .

"Ah no. This wonderful woman and I are friends, basically like siblings-but we dated once... so it's all quite incestuous when you think about it." The lady's expression changed so fast it was almost comical, looking so very sorry she had asked in the first place

Normally you'd be amused with Jesse's antics, but now that you've gotten planes crashes in your head the images, the fear, the apprehension refuses to go away along with everything that has been happening; the upcoming wedding, seeing everyone you knew in college all at the same time, more importantly seeing Chloe again-the girl who has starred in your dreams and many fantasies far longer than you cared to admit, is finally getting to you. _Please God no_ you are actually psyching yourself out here, it feels like some mild panic attack. Your head is throbbing, the noises all around becoming louder, obtrusive 

"Jesse please-shut it!" you manage to get out, trying to slow down your breaths.

"Jeez, what's your problem?" He says, his tone annoyed, but he takes one glance at your expression and he turns worried."What's wrong?Hey look at me. You're so pale, Becs."

"Nothing-it's just I was thinking of everyone-of Chloe and then completely unrelated... I was also thinking of being on a smaller plane and just flying you know, and then I got to thinking about turbulence-and then planes crashing..." You're half choking, half-gasping out your words. You see Jesse's eyes widen in fear at your choice of words or at what's happening to you, you don't know. You continue babbling not recognising you own strangled voice.

"And I feel like I'm a little plane-that little plane experiencing turbulence...and I know-I've always known that this wasn't going to end well, but I still let it happen... and I can't blame anyone else when I crash and burn and now I'm sort of panicking...I think." Jesse is quick to move.

"Someone, can anyone help, medic-is there a doctor?" he runs to the galley where the flight attendants, obviously newbs, freeze up.

You want to hit him 'round the head, you feel like he's enjoying this way too much. It's a scene straight out of one of the medicine related tv drama shows that he really likes the soundtrack to. The worst part each and everyone of the passenger's attention is now on you.

"Is there a problem ma'am? How can we assist you...I'm Claire." A more senior blonde flight attendant comes up. Okay now that's a bit more reassuring.

"I dunno, what's happening" your voice sounds broken, sounding more like gasps than actual words.

"She's Tachycardic. She feels nauseous "  _okay you gotta hand it to him he knows his stuff "_ -and she was saying stuff about-" Jesse glances around cautiously before whispering, "plane crashes"

"She's having a panic attack...breathe-deeply for me, can you do that Miss...?" Her green eyes are searching yours- her face, her voice is the only thing you focus on right now. She's about your mother's age and of similar build; not too short but not very tall either- the way she talks to you is in a tone of motherly concern. It calms you, a soothing balm warming your too tight chest.

"Her name's Beca, Beca Mitchell." Jesse supplies making room for the blonde lady.

"Okay, follow me breathe in-breathe out. So Beca, what brings you to Australia?" her twang adapting the Australian accent very well.

"I'll take it from here." She says to everyone standing idly by, momentarily taking Jesse's seat while Jesse takes the opportunity to stretch his legs and probably flirt with the flight attendants-one, a redhead, catches your eye.

You get a sense of de ja vu- a momentary blast from the past..the Barden Bellas traditional uniform always had resembled a flight attendant's. You can't believe you had to wear one of those, but they really did look nice- if you were into the whole unifrom thing- well on Chloe it had looked really nice.

_Breathe in... breathe out._ You can do this.

You feel your heart finally slow down, and your mind now only resembling a mild panic- you manage a response, "My friend from College she lives there, she wanted all her girlfriends around for all her wedding preparations."

"And are you looking forward to this reunion?"

"Yes, of course I do. I really really miss them but.." _breathe in... breathe out_

"But?"

"Nothing I guess, it's been five years since I've been with everyone, this one person in particular was sorta my best friend but we lost touch completely...and now I don't really know what happened, what to say to her if and when I finally see her again...it feels a bit much. I'm sort of a little overwhelmed, I guess."

You've never felt this comfortable spilling the beans to a complete stranger. Maybe this was what having a confession felt like, you see why it might feel good, getting everything off your chest. You feel like this lady who is not a priest, won't judge you... something about her warm wise eyes.

She reminds you of somebody, you can't quite your finger on it. But she's smiling at you as she takes your hand in hers, it's a reassuring gesture.

"Sometimes it's scary seeing the people you love after so many years of being apart, maybe because you're scared that you're both a little different and therefore everything else is different now-but at heart you still remain the same, strong close bonds withstand all kinds of trials over time. You say you were close with this girl..."

"Uh yeah, her name was Chloe."

"I bet you both have good reasons as to why you lost touch, but don't focus on that...focus on the now, just start off from where you let off. Don't jump ship before it even docks-what I'm saying is... let everything play out, what'll happen will happen good or bad but take it in stride, you know and just try not to worry too much."

"Makes sense...Hey, I actuallybfeel completely better now."

"Good to know-" here she pats your hand "Well I have some cabin checks to do so just sit here and relax... I'll have them bring you some chamomile Beca."

"Hey-" Jesse says sliding back into his seat, oh so casually slipping his phone,-presumably with a new number on it-into his pocket. "What's up, you better? I've never seen anyone have a panic attack up close before"

"Glad I could provide that once-in-a-lifetime experience for you..." he raises his left eyebrow at you "Yeah I'm better." you grumble out.

"Yeah, thank goodness. You're back to your usual bitter old self." you hate how your sarcasm is starting to rub off on him

"Young man this little lady has to rest now, so you don't go all working her up, you here?" the old lady from before says, admonishing.

Jesse mumbles out an apology and turns to resume staring out the window.

" Here you go -" one of the flight attendants sets your tea down.."Miss Mitchell here's your chamomile tea."

"Hmm" you say as you polish it off quickly. _That was good_ you think, you really really needed that. You set down the cup.

At this particular moment, you truly feel drained- feel rest claiming you, and so you finally surrender to that oh so peaceful slumber. You haven't been able to sleep for a few days now, being so stressed-much less had the chance to dream.

But one particular dream comes up, you are not sure but it feels like a memory it's just some details are different but you go with it.

"Chloe-hey what're you doing here at this time?" She's clearly drunk, maybe she got lost on her way back to her and Aubrey's. Not likely though, there's is in the complete opposite way of yours.

"Beca"-slurs Chloe, as she stumbles into your apartment.

"Oookay, um come in of course. Let yourself feel at home. Here, let me hang this"- you say, as you take the pieces of clothing Chloe has started to throw off; her coat,her ski cap, while bending down to pick up her scarf. "-okay woah. Wait I'll get you a blanket and um adjust the heat wait-" you say as you realize she isn't stopping or slowing down with her stripping.

_Do not stare_ you think to yourself. You manage some control to a certain point, only taking a single peek- albeit it was a long deliberate one, taking note of Chloe in just an undershirt and cycling shorts , damn no underwear viewing for you tonight. But double damn Chloe always manages to look gorgeous. You thought it was just you, but here she is in the most comfortable outfit, not at all meant to be sexy, still looking...fine mighty fine. _(okay perv enough with the ogling)_

You turn to hang the coat on the rack and you realize something feels off ...that it's quiet... _too_ quiet.

You jump when you turn around to find Chloe just inches from you (you could practically feel her breath on your lips), staring at you with her intense blue eyes out from under her lashes"-Okay, Chloe-Chlo...woah. What're you doing?"

"Looking at you." she giggles, "You're really pretty, you know that, Beca? And- I like you, you know? I really really _like_ you"

All you can say is "Okay..."

This dream allowed you to reflect on past events,

And this particular memory was the time you were already having something with Jesse. You stumble over a reply, what to say-what do you come up with to something like that?

Was it a confession, a confirmation-an answer to a secret, hidden plea?

You're so confused. You thought that Jesse had- no matter how momentarily- taken hold of your reigns and transferred your attention that had almost been like blinders only focused on Chloe, and nudged you to move another direction, not necessarily your preferred one-but it was different and he was good for you. He had actual, obvious, real feelings for you. But then here was Chloe saying the most simple thing, that she liked you. It could mean so many things, you could finish that sentence differently each time just so everything would be clearer for you-out in the open. I...

like you as a friend.

like you as more than a friend.

like you, might even love you.

but all she says is that, that she likes you and now you guess she used to like you.

And you hate it but it gives you hope. Her actions, her leaning so close to you- confirm that maybe she is interested, but you also know that she's drunk. Chloe sober was uber affectionate, drunk Chloe was the same only _much_ worse with her touchiness amped up to the next level.

You let her wrap her arms around your waist- gathering you to her. She's staring at you with her tipsy affectionate smile, almost waiting for you to do something, _anything_.

But you can't stand the thought of her dismissing it as some drunken ordeal when she wakes up the next day. So instead of kissing her like you obviously want too, you tell her she needs sleep. You move her to your bed. She asks you to hold her and you comply. You take note of how you fit together so well, how good it feels to almost feel like she's yours-and you do get to give her one little kiss...on her forehead.

And you know that's what ultimately lead to ultimate heartbreak cos after that she didn't remember that night-and so you were the one left with having to deal with all the confusion, the torn-up twistedness of it all.

You realize why you avoided them all together you had that one reason...it had plagued you all thruought college and it took a while to move on even after, and not even successfully at that. Chloe just can't give you a break, can she?

You've never been pushy with anything in your life, sure you were willful and defiant, but surprisingly, when it came to the personal stuff, you were actually a pushover. You run, you back-off whenever you are faced with things that require you to be assertive. Maybe if you had been, if you were, you'd gotten all the things that you really wanted, that really mattered; your parents staying together, moving to L.A earlier, and not feel like everything good is passing you by-like Chloe, maybe if you had had the courage and had come right out and said something at one point during your "relationship" than maybe just maybe...

But its a delicate thing you never want to come off all wrong, the fear of rejection is too strong and there was always too much too loose with her; she's your friend, your whole group is this small community who know things no matter how insignificant about each other. So maybe it had hurt staying away or even holding yourself back because you can't remember wanting something, wishing for- pining for someone this long, and yet after all these years...you keep silent... _Why?_

All the What If's are just killing you. But you don't ask, you don't push-you let things be. You don't want these moments to be awkward you want to seem like everything's normal that you haven't been secretly crushing, fantasizing about someone who may or may not reciprocate your feelings.

You wish you went back to the sexy dreams, you'd been having. This dream was closer to reality and therefore more cruel.

* * *

"Beca, beca beca-" you hate being shaken awake, but apparently Jesse still hasn't clued in on that.

"What?"

"Nothing, just checking to see if you were still breathing..."

"okay...Jesse," you groan not quite awake "-are you that bored?"

"Oh was I interrupting another Chloe dream?" your eyes shoot straight open. You hope you weren't talking aloud in your sleep.

"It's not what you think-" he's waggling his eyebrows not taking you seriously "I was remembering something...it doesn't matter can I go back to sleep now or do you need to check that my heart's still beating?"

"Won't mind if I do-"as he stretches his hand towards your cleavage and you slap his hand away "Ass, those are off-limits"

"Was kiddin, I think...don't worry I know Chloe owns those-" you silence him with a look that sorta resembles that of your mother's whenever you misbehaved, a warning...some parts utmost annoyance, frustration and at the-end-of-her rope-ness... you think he finally finally gets it.

You rummage for your earplugs from your belongings and turn in your seat trying to get a comfortable position-preferably one that doesn't give you a view of Jesse.

* * *

This time you dream of a different ending to your dream earlier. You almost get to rewrite your past as one where you had had the courage, where you had come out and told her and most especially showed her how you felt that one time... how you feel all the time, and in that dream everything works out and you are rewarded with the sexy time you were craving earlier.

If only those kinds of dreams came true for you. If only these dreams weren't just meant for sleeping.

* * *

Up next: Barden Bellas in Australia!

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where things get trippy

 

* * *

You thought you'd die on that plane for a second there--but you feel you could die from embarrassment here, some joke...the first step into Australia- Hobart International Airport instead of stepping on foot you do it on top of a wheelchair.

It's some sort of protocol they insist but you have a feeling Jesses' got something to do with it as he's trying not to laugh as you are wheeled into the arrival gate.

You don't mean for it to happen, all you did for the latter part of that whole plane ride  _was sleep_  but you feel yourself start to drift off, along to the steady hum, the movement of the wheels beneath you, lulled by the feeling of being propelled forward and not having to make any effort to do so.

"Beca-" you are jolted from your sleep, that sounded like...

"Beca Mitchell" Chloe comes running up to you and you are  _wide_   _awake_ now... she seems really happy to see you.

See, no need to be worried...not at all

"Isn't this exciting, look at you-" Her smile falters, you're sure she gives you a disapproving look as she takes in you attire(the normal Beca Mitchell Wear)it's not in that kind Chloe way, you almost feel like she's judging you, looking down on you. You look at her in a two piece expensive business suit and you can't help it--your heart still skips a beat, she's still so beautiful but not quite what you remembered. Her hair's in a severe bun, in her arm an Hermes bag, you see that practically everything she owns is branded and you notice that she makes it a point to keep the side with the brand logo right-side up.

"You look-well, you always look nice Chloe--new look?"

"Oh thanks, of course in my line of work as an established real estate agent ...W _e_  sell all over but mostly in Beverly Hills, I'm there every other third week of the month- oh yes what was I saying, oh yeah appearances...looking respectful" she eyes your scuffed converse with distaste, "well, it's everything don't you think? You however...well you look exactly the same. You're still rocking the plaid and skinny jeans." her voice has this hard edge to it. Almost sly and mean.

"It's what I'm comfortable in."

"Hmm-well to each her own I guess" She mumbles, you think it's her way of not trusting herself not to say anything rude something that you'd never expect from the old Chloe...but this apparently was the new one. She then glances at her wristwatch it's not even sleek it's gaudy the kind people wear so that people notice it-it's expensive but not classy. She then looks around probably looking for someone better to talk to maybe one of the other Bella's, someone more up to her taste, her new standards.

"Can you believe Particia's getting married?" she doesn't seem truly interested in knowing, it seemed like she was asking for the sake of being polite. And she doesn't quite look you in the eye when she talks, her phone gets most if not all her attention as you converse.

"Yeah Fat Amy I'm so happy for her and Benji, like that came out of nowhere, who could've seen  _that_ one coming"

"Who could have seen  _any wedding_  coming, I mean, come on, out of all the Bella's-I thought she'd be last...well at least not until after me or Aubrey or Stacie or just everybody."

You feel this spike of annoyance, of anger for everything;. for Amy, for all the dreams you've kept dear and for this one moment where you see that five years has changed everything-erased all hope, turning Chloe into the worst thing you can ever imagine, better she belonged to someone else than  _this_.

You stand up to give her a piece of your mind, to defend Amy...to whack her on the head and hopefully knock some sense into her... you don't know

But what you don't expect is as soon as you do get to your feet is for you to feel faint, to collapse and eventually black out.

* * *

"Beca, hey are you all right? Please say you're okay!" It's Chloe again, but her voice sounds softer, not the unfeeling bitch she was earlier..

Man you thought Aubrey was bad. Chloe had been an  _absolute nightmare_. You aren't happy that it takes you having to faint for her to return to normal. You think you hit your head on the way down, it really hurts your head's pounding feeling like the worst case of hang-over ever.

"Beca Mitchell, open your eyes you hear me?" she sounds close to sobbing.

"I'm glad I finally got your sympathy" Your eyes try to readjust-her face is blurry but slowly coming into focus. You sit up, your head's still spinning.  _Weird_ she's wearing something different now, a reindeer sweater,  _it's cute,_  but it's a bit Mom-ish. She's pretty dressed down compared to earlier. Were you out for that long?

"So you fake a panic attack in order to be wheeled out into the Airport in a wheelchair? What's wrong with you Beca?" She' furious now, oh god that face is not the kind you ever wanted to come across, it scarily resembles that of your mother's.

"Huh-I mean what?"

"Jesse called us as soon as the plane landed telling us what happened to you... I know we haven't been in touch, but you can't scare us, scare  _me_  like that."

"I'm sorry Chlo" She's hugging you, you don't know what was up with her earlier, but you'll gladly take this, her hugging you all maternal-like comforting you as you start sobbing like a baby remembering the fear of not being able to recognize your own best friend.

"Okay baby, don't cry. "  _She called me baby "_ C'mon, come with me. So tell me what've you been up to?" She's finding whatever reason to touch you, it almost feels like old times her hand rubbing up and down your arm, resting on your shoulder as you walk your way through the hustle and bustle of people. You're looking everywhere for everyone else, Jesse too, seemed to have disappeared.

"You know, I think some of my music has made it's way on to the radio waves and maybe some commercials." You name one, you're actually being  _very_  modest as your music career is just starting to go steady , in all cases your business is booming-your single has reached number one in all the Music Billboard Top 100s around the globe. You are sure Chloe of all people, has heard of it.

"No, I've actually been really busy these days."  _This is Chloe Beale_   _she's supposed to love music as much as you._

You guess she must be really busy with work and all that, for her to _not_  even have the time to listen to a radio. You don't mean to sound conceited but that song's _everywhere,_ being played so often you were actually getting tired of hearing it.

"Don't you get a break from work, I'm sorry if they're working you too hard," You say trying to sound sympathetic, but Chloe not listening to  _any_ kind of music at all is as disturbing as her being a stuck-up bitch.

"Well I do love them, but they can be a handful at times..with my boys you know?"

"What, wait what are you talking about, I'm confused. I thought you worked in Real-Esate. Do you do- have something on the side, like you know at night?

Okay _this_  is what Chloe did to channel her frustration from work, to express herself-she was a Stripper?

Not the worse picture in mind but  _what-_ this whole meeting Chloe again thing, was getting really  _really_  bizarre.

"No," she laughs, "I thought you knew... I'm married."  _what_   _a stab to the heart_ "-and a full time Mom to three beautiful boys"  _twist the blade why don't you?_  Okay the whole conversation didn't make anymore sense than it did  _before_  she had just said she was in real estate... _what is happening?_

"There they are. Here's Luke Jr, Lucas, Lucky." The boys are scrambling all over their mother wanting to be picked-up first, they all look like Merida's siblings from Brave, they act like them too, running this way and that but Chloe is cooing over them. She has turned into that kind of mother cooing at her children, "Aren't they just wonderful." as they caused destruction wherever they went

"Wait you are  _married",_  you take a gasping breath "-to radio manager British, fit guy, Luke?"

"Yes, for  _three_  years now, we met again in a coffee shop in New York the first day I moved in.  _You try to drown out how content, how in love she sounds._ "There he is- now," You see Luke gamely chasing after the boys, he stops to give Chloe a kiss and gives you a "Whatup Becky?" and a pat on your shoulder, before resuming chasing the little monsters scooping them up in the air one by one, roaring like a bear in the process.

"He's a good Dad."

"Yeah-we didn't plan it though, but he just couldn't keep his hands off of me."

_Okay whatever happened to too much information and oversharing.  
_

"And even when it broke, we couldn't stop."

"Why are you still talking? Please  _stop_ talking _, PLEASE!_ " You are closing your eyes, Chloe isn't listening...she's too lost in this whole life that she had created without you, and unlike you who kept a torch burning hanging on to all those memories, she never took a second to glance black.

* * *

You uncover your ears and get out of the crouching position you hadn't realize you'd gotten into. And everything is thankfully and mercifully silent.

 

You're by yourself in an empty airport, no one's there to greet you when you arrive, to hug you, to kiss you. You are all alone... something you've been afraid of and just accepted for yourself- your  _whole_  life. And it's really true this time. You  _are_ alone.

You start crying, you haven't done this in the longest time, cry with abandon. Not caring who hears. You're alone right? No one cares how you suffer with the thought that  _Chloe might as well be one of those persons_.

A person who had gone though days, weeks, months, years without thinking of you.

A person that had gone through her new life normally, unaffected by your absence... like you had never even been in it-  _been a part of it._

One, who will never be- as changed, as moved as you were by her. The impact devastating, irreparable and permanent.

When you feel like you've cried every ounce of bitterness, heartbreak and hurt-you clean yourself up and get your bearings, calm yourself down, using the slow deep-breathing techniques Claire taught you, as you finally get yourself together.

"This is a dream, wake up Beca! This isn't real the past two events were all dreams!" You are screaming, your voice hoarse.

But you can beat this-Chloe as an unfeeling mean sourpuss of a woman, and Chloe married to Luke those were  _just_  dreams. You are in a dream your dream, and  _you_  are the master of it.

* * *

Okay  _this_  was getting way way way out of hand

A dream wthin a dream within a dream, this was worse than Inception. You are feeling royally mind-fucked. You- however don't need one of those objects, like the turning thing of Leonardo DiCaprio's character, to know you are still stuck in one.

You are preparing yourself for the amount of emotional strain that'll come if you run in to yet another one of Chloe's Alternate Universe-selves.

But you give a sigh of relief when you  _dream-wake_  to find you are in your own bed naked. You feel movement behind you as Chloe's arm slides around your waist like it belonged there and burying her face into your neck as you spoon-something you've always loved-the memory you still keep, somehow in the back of your mind that comes again only in sleep; the press of her whole length against you, the feeling of her breath on your skin.

"That feels nice " you say drowsily, allowing yourself this peace as opposed to the trauma of earlier. You groan as you start feeling her hand move, but your realise the hand skimming across your skin feels  _all kinds of wrong._  You open your eyes and there's a silent scream of terror just waiting to come out.

There 's a naked Jesse touching you-caressing your face, your neck, his hand moving lower to your...

_Jesus-_ wake me up! NO no no!

You are full-out screaming as you wake up, this time you think it's the real thing .

You don't like attention and yet, everyone is looking at you, the girl in the wheelchair, screaming her head off.  _kill me now_ you think.

You glance around you trying to make sense of everything. It's difficult though...that was more than freaky, _especially_ the last one.You are certain that you are traumatized for life.

You woke up in a fairly secluded area far off from the side of the luggage carousel-the conveyor belt thing- away from the endless flow of people, as to not get into the cross-fire,the traffic in the arrival area. You see that Jesse's picking up the luggage but everyone is still looking at you questioningly with concern.

"I'm vocalizing, getting into character for a-a stage production here, it's called um the Kangassasins of Tasmania and I'm kangassasin number two, it's a small part but I take my role very seriously..." You say to the ones nearby-the others who by the end of your whole sentence have moved on and have started other conversations, chatting about other things but there are some who question you, grill you for details about the Play. You can't believe this would be interesting for them, okay,  _maybe_  you can if they were anything like Fay Amy.

It's something about this trip, this whole wedding reunion that's making everything (you mostly) all messed-up and out of sorts in general.

When you get rid of the last of them, Jesse rushes up to you, "What's wrong-another dream?" He wheels you closer to your things. He's having it put on a baggage cart and he's being aided by one of the airport staff-you believe you'll be giving him a tip later on.

"More like a nightmare, you were in it, it was the worst thing I experienced ever. You have no idea, I think it would put me off sleeping for many  _many_ days." You say, as you, Jesse, and the man pushing your luggage/baggage cartmake your way past the customs check area.

"Oooh-" he looks intrigued "-was I getting in with some Bechloe action?" Jesse as a boy was better than the most of them at the most sensible times but he still couldn't help  _being_  one from time to time. You don't really see what is it about girl-on-girl that make men act like complete horn dogs. Sure lesbians could find it hot, and bi's-but there's something about the way Jesse is practically drooling probably imagining you and Chloe right now that just made you feel dirty all over.

You reach out and smack him right on his arm "Any chance you could stop being a pig?"

"Any chance I could get in on it in real life"-you know he's joking with you but it makes you miss the times when he wasn't so crass, when he still tried to impress you. Also you really wish you'd smacked him harder another thing about having him as a guy friend, you could try to hurt him however you liked, through slapping, punchesand still- he never seemed to get hurt. He compared your swatting to that of a mosquito bite, you barely felt it till you saw the marks later on.

You don't go for the obvious kryptonite that is his jewels firstly Ew and second, because that would seem mean and unfair.

" One, don't call us Bechloe, because there is no us, so just stop. Can you?" You try to roll the wheels with your hands like you've seen in movies, trying to get away but you don't get very far. It's so much harder than it looks and Jesse quickly catches up with you.

"Now that was a valiant attempt, but take it easy alright." he grips on to the handles of the wheelchair in order to push you but you try moving again...

"Jesse, in case you didn't see, I was trying to get away from you! Just give me some space." You're frustrated now as he is pulling you back, and it's no use even with how much you are trying, you aren't even moving anymore. "Just go" you say, tiredly.

"Hey, you can't tell me what to do, well you can, you are technicallymy boss- but I'd like to think you asked me here as a friend, as a friendly favor. So no, I think not-I can't just leave you to fend for yourself and your little arms will get tired, besides who  _else_ is going to push you...to the brink of insanity, that is." He laughs at his own joke.

He thinks he's _so_ clever

"Beca Mitchell what did you get yourself into  _this_  time."

"I think I just did," you say to Jesse before facing Aubrey. You're taking her all in--she looks immaculate, not a hair out of place but gone is the stiff, rigid uptight manner she used to carry herself with. She was just really unstable once- any minute ready to blow chunks.

She instead gives you her what-am-I-to-do-with-you smile, but it's genuine and holds true fondness. She then bends down to give you a hug, and though it surprises you at first, you lean into it willingly, hugging her back knowing that you actually missed Aubrey Posen. You say it aloud cause it doesn't seem quite real.

"I actually sorta missed you." Now you can say you've seen, heard, said everything.

"Same here. C'mon, the girls are waiting in the car. Come and see." Here let me push." She walks along side Jesse as he hands over the reigns to her.

"Hey Bree." He says, his hands in his pockets, uncharacteristically shy.

"Hey Jesse, looking good." to think you almost forgot he was there, _almost._

"You too, Bree."  _Wait a second,_  Bree? Looking good? When have these two ever been on speaking terms, much less known each other well enough to comment on looking good, unless-okay something smells fishy here

You feel like a little kid glancing up at it's parents from it's stroller, and it's annoying how apt that description is

"Ahem," you say trying to get the attention of either of the two, seemingly set on trying to break the record for longest-time-staring-at-each other-in-an-oh-so-aw-rendering-way

You are _so_  gonna grill Jesse on this later.

"I think we have somewhere else to be...like right now." Sure you know you're interrupting a moment but you can't wait to see Chloe now, armed with renewed conviction, a determination to prove your dream wrong.

"Yes, oh right!" She starts pushing you faster, regaining her excitement for you to see everyone.

You give Jesse the Mitchell stare-down as you turn your head back trying to read his mind. You raise an eyebrow, questioning- He shrugs his shoulders.

"Hi Beca, long time no see." came the voice so familiar so heart-warming, you turn around and see her face just as you remembered it. Nothing more nothing less.

As she gathers you to her in an embrace, you feel like everything is gonna be okay-and as the rest of the people the rest of the girls surround you in a group hug, with chorus' of them saying they missed you, screaming your name, greeting you, hugging you, kissing you.

You know for sure now, that you are not alone, you never were.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bechloe reunited and it feels so good...it does it?

Once you do surface for air, having to first remove yourself from Stacie's cleavage and then pry Cynthia Rose's death grip off around your neck and amidst the numerous limbs blocking your exit -you do finally manage to pull back and take everyone in- it's then you realize that there's someone missing... you didn't even have to count or really look, one glance and you just know, the one person who had to be missing was Chloe.  _Of course_.

You can't help feeling that there's this unseen force milking these moments that you are apart for all it's worth.

And you don't want to seem unhappy or unsatisfied or suddenly disappointed at the moment-but it's just that you do. You feel the whole group doesn't quite feel complete, a vital part, a special someone is missing.

You thought no- you felt ready, prepared, that it was  _the moment,_ the one you'd been waiting for-for exactly 5 years.

The Bellas united.  _Bechloe_  united, the name, once Jesse had used it _had_ stuck...but you are never going to use it aloud or atleast in front of him. You don't want to see that smug self-satisfied I-told-you-so face.

But right now you need to focus on making everything seem normal, and not filled with utter despair. You should totally cool it with the dramatics.

You turn with what you hope is still a believably happy face to speak with the beautiful and blooming Fat Amy the one who started the whole "group hugging" affair, "Okay awesome nerds enough with the hugging, and time for some down under fun in the sun. Fat Amy I thought you said that you were gonna show us some Australian hospitality?"

"The correct term I used was partyin. You have no idea what you guys are in for, it's gonna be siiiick. Be warned, we are gonna rock your Yankee asses faster than mating dingos in heat!"

You've missed Fat Amy and her innate ability to make everything she said sound funny or maybe she just had a direct line to your funny bone, and sometimes what she said didn't even make sense or wasn't even that funny but she never failed to make you smile. "Oh yeah!" the rest of you girls echo and cheer on amidst looking at each other with perplexed looks on each others faces

And it works, for the most part. Being surrounded by the rest of the Bella's-your Bella's.

You really do love these girls, each and everyone of them. No matter how little you say it or even show it. It's always been true, even when you used to act all indifferent and pretended you didn't care about anything at all except perhaps music, and getting to L.A.

They make you feel safe, comforted-that you don't have to try so much that you can just be.. And you feel relief that with them, you don't need to meet all the unrealistic high expectations the kind that are now set on you that comes with being this supposed big shot in the music industry. They don't treat you any differently. You're just Beca.

They let you be you. As a matter of fact they accepted you a long time ago. You're so lucky to have been part of the Bella's. This ragtag acapella group who at first had nothing in common, except perhaps musical ability and you were all rusty, and not completely polished at that, but you came together in the end and became champions. You wouldn't be who you are today... you'd never reach your true potential, never know what you could become without them-without this team.

And you've been the worst friend to them, You hate that you've been neglectful, that you haven't been the best at keeping in touch and because of it you've been missing out on more of these "bonding" moments.

And it had all started when one ginger-haired girl waved you over during an Activities fair that first day at Barden, trying to recruit you.

It was all because of  _her_ , she was the one who gave you all of this-these friendships, the memories. She practically hunted you down and you had tried so hard running away, playing hard to get...but she caught you, and you'd never been happier because of it.

And yet you don't want to ask, you can't be the one to ask, so you are grateful when Aubrey brings it up herself-"Oh Chloe's the last one coming in, she stopped by Sydney first and she says she's coming over with a friend"

"boy or girl?"  _That_  is the real question isn't it?

"It's a male friend" Aubrey says checking her phone again,

"Ooh wait that's tricky. Do you mean a friend-friend or just a guy friend, or the friend with benefits, but if they're traveling to a wedding together hmm ..." Stacie the obvious expert on such things says opening up a whole new topic of interest

You can pretend to be over everything and roll your eyes at them and how much they gossip like you used to whenever they did it back in the old days, but in truth you're not entirely opposed to the topic of said gossip, and you  _are_  trying to catch up since you've been out of the loop on everything non-work related.

So what if these were just speculations you needed to know what you're up against.

_If_  there really is someone or something that you  _are_  up against.

"It's funny because last I heard, and this from Chloe herself, she's still pretty much single" says Aubrey all final-like, like her word is law,  _well you should totally believe her, Chloe is after-all her best friend... right?_

"Maybe it was something new and not that serious and she didn't want to jinx it by telling you..." Fat Amy says,  _Oh goodness she could be right_

"And- maybe she wanted to introduce him to all of us all in one go "Ashley, Denise and Jessica say  _all in one go_.

"A wedding, she'll bring a new guy to a close-friend's wedding, I actually feel sorry for the guy..." Cynthia Rose says, "The Bella sisterhood is a protective one, we'll be on him..."

"Like wild male dingos during mating season, and he's the only bitch-" You all turn to look at Fat Amy, "What dingos really fascinate me"

"I guess what Amy was trying to say is that, we'll see if he can measure up." Aubrey says all businesslike.

Oh yeah with all of them here, no guy could really think to pass the girl friends test, could he?

It's like you were quoting the great song by the ultimate girl group the Spice Girls when they once sang,

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends_  (Gotta get with my friends) how'd you like that, complete with back up

_Make it last forever, friendship never ends_

Changing the my to Chloe of course,

Okay that was so Queerballs only several minutes in and the whole acapella thing is rubbing off on you.

"How much longer do you think she'll be? This the only time you allow your curiosity to get the better of you and just ask

Aubrey glances at her iphone "Argh wait her most recent text, just came in- her flight was delayed, she won't be here for another hour at least, she said we can start without them"

"Well we shouldn't let it be a downer and stop us...we'll go ahead, but I really can't let Beca set one more foot into this beautiful country and into the car without getting drunk first."

"I've only been here exactly twenty minutes."

"Then you're already late and need some catching up to do" says Cynthia Rose

"Actually all of us are way behind schedule."

"We'll take you to the closest bar."

"Why wait, we have some shots for you to do-" so that's what they were doing while waiting for you, no wonder. Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose doll out single shot glasses containing a cinnamon coffee gin mixture to everyone else but give you two shot glasses "Here. Cheers everyone!"

You know you should be taking it easy, but now...knowing that Chloe is coming with someone else, some potential maybe-competition or not, but c'mon you just had a panic attack not too long ago, you need something to calm you, you  _so_  need the alcohol.

" Fine...Let's do it!" You sure you might regret it later on, but whatever you're with your girls, and you're free to do what you want here in the Aussie Outback

"Now, that's what I'm talking about..." Cynthia Rose says, bringing you into one of those one armed semi-headlock hugs. They all forget and you know you hate being reminded of it but you are little and they should treat you gently.

"Oh yeah Acabitches!" Fat Amy hollers-if you didn't think the rest of the innocent airport civilians attentions weren't on your whole group already, it sure is now

"This calls for a sound-off... Bella's hands in!" Aubrey says,

"Seriously right here, right now-in front of all these people?" you ask, okay just because you do miss them it doesn't mean you will sacrifice your dignity for them, I mean c'mon-you can only take so much in a day.

"Why not-C'mon we haven't seen you in over three years..." Way to make a guilt trip, Stacie

"Fine...on my count." you sigh,

"One...two.."

"Wait on three or after three?"

"Stacie!"

"I'm joking...no really."

"I dreamed of this moment...The Bella's taking on Australia Oh i'm so happy" Fat Amy says sounding nearly in tears and then everyone's laughing, in titters, they are so on their way to getting drunk already.

"one, two three...ahhhhh" you sing , then shout, "Let's get drunk"

You should've know they'd take your word...and really make it happen.

* * *

A few hours, many drinks and several stops later .. You've officially gone bar hopping- This wouldn't be the most traditional way to tour or really get to know Tasmania,but it's the most fun.

Fat Amy says you've got plenty of time to do all the boring stuff the rest of the week,...well it's practically the same thing you meet the natives albeit more dressed down and more loose and friendly this time of the day, you mean night.

Feels like College all over again,

You tend to drink a lot more whenever you're anxious. It calms you, you suppose that's why it's called liquid courage and maybe it'll be just what you need for when you-know-who, finally shows up

There was this one dream you had, this one came up clearer than most you'd been having- it was a similar setting; a reunion of the Bellas you remember that you were waiting for Chloe to show up- _hmm deja vu or what_...and when she finally appears, when you see each other- your eyes meeting from across the room-you don't even wait, you pull her aside-You remember the feel of her hand in yours...her following you without hesitation you remember everything being resolved in that one moment all doubts gone. You don't even need to say anything...it's like you both know what this moment would lead to. You remember her taking you in an embrace her whispering she loved you and that she had missed you.

That's what you loved the most about your dreams, everything felt so right you never once second-guessed or doubted yourself. Your actions came easily, almost as if everything had been written somewhere, that it was meant to be... like destiny.

* * *

Man you should really get out more, never once in your life have you gotten this drunk this quickly... the room is literally spinning-

Cynthia Rose and everyone else are all blurry... the lights flashing green, red, blue. The noise a mere pounding..you're afraid you've gone deaf.

You realize you really are that drunk, you've become that drunk party girl you never got to be as a teenager; You're everywhere- jumping up and down, banging your head and even singing loudly when they play one of your more famous mixes.

Gone is level-headed, respectable sober Music Producer Beca Mitchell.

right now...

"We got DJ B drunk ya'll!"

And they are cheering, and laughing and everything's just bright, fuzzy, disorienting and nauseating mixed all into one.

"Aw Becs come here-Cynthia hey help me, so we can get her to rest for a while." Stacie is pulling you over to lean on her shoulder,

What clued her in that you needed help standing up. Maybe cos you were practically bumping into everything and everyone, tipsy wasn't even enough to describe you right now.

Where's Jesse when you need him you could really use the support right now, you are practically all over Stacie and not in a good way, you'd be crushing her if Denise and the others hadn't stepped in to half-carry you to one of the sofas by your table. They did struggle a bit when you resisted- _you are pretty strong if you say so yourself._

"Hey Bec's wait, take it easy...let's just sit down, okay lie down." Lily says pretty loudly as you slump into the sofa face down "-there for a bit I'll get someone to get you water or something"

"Jesse!" your sure your voice is loud enough for anyone to hear "Where is that guy?"

You spot him on the dance floor with Aubrey and they're laughing and having a good time with all their giggling and their silly dance moves. Okay, you admit they'd be cute together, another couple you didn't see happening but hey looking all around you never saw any of it...and yet nothing shocks you now.

The Treble boys had followed in a separate vehicle and caught up with all of the partying a few clubs ago. And everyone all the acaboys, the acagirls and theacainbetweens had paired off one by one.

Donald with Lily

Fat Amy with Benji

Cynthia Rose and Denise

Unicycle and Ashley

Guess opposites do attract

"Hey party animal-what did I say, sick right...Tasmanian Devil inside of you just waiting come out there...I always knew you had it in you. But we still have plenty more of this for the days to come so this is us taking it easy on you!"

Boo them you are so not ready to stop partying but yeah okay lying down is helping with the stopping of all the spinning...

and hey wait...You think okay you are starting to hear things, like the one name that has constantly been on your mind is being said aloud by everyone around you...and your head is so heavy you can't even turn it to glance around to find red hair and those baby blues.

Argh, Enough Chloe already, you just need a moment, one moment to forget.

Before she comes and tips everything over again.

Hello there full beer bottle, come to Mama and thank you who ever owns this beer, the label was picked clean off, definitely not Stacie's.

"Beca, Chloe's here don't you want to talk and -" Cynthia Rose says when she comes back bringing two glasses of water

"Oh...hide me, please."

"What?"

You quickly duck behind Cynthia Rose just in the nick of time as Chloe finally reaches your table

"Chloe...there you are you late ass ginger and who is this fine gentleman?" You can visibly feel everyone's attention drawn to the new boy.  _Ooh this is going to be good_ , you take a peek behind Cynthia Rose's arm.

"Hi, Lucas Paxton, you can call me Luke. You must be Amy. You look as scrumptious as Chloe described you.."

Luke, British Luke from freaking College-you gotta be kidding me.

"Ooh okay I like him-nice one Chloe."

_Seriously_ scrumptious he just used an adjective for food on her, she should be offended.

"You seriously don't remember Luke, he went to Barden with us. Funny story actually, we met in a coffee shop the first day I moved to New York. I was feeling really homesick and there was his familiar face we got to talking and...well we've been inseparable ever since."

Okay this was like some scene out of bad dream oh yes it was- _yours_...you had to stop this before they ended up married with three red headed little devils disguised as children

Oh god, you hate this guy. Well you've never really found a reason to hate him before even when he called you Becky, or when he took forever to play your mixes, or even when for the first few months working under him he had all his stupid no touching the equipment in the recording booth rule and worse when he had both you and Jesse mindlessly arranging his Cd's.

But now you have found a reason-it's the perfect reason to hate him

"Hi-uh I'm sorry it's short notice and all, I hope you don't mind but Chloe insisted I come..." It's the accent, everyone- every girl no matter how hard they claim to be are suckers for accents-and his was oh so British, so sincere-sounding so freaking polite and well-mannered.

"No, It's alright more eye candy the better that's what i always say, or I would- if i weren't happily engaged to the sweetest, most perfect guy evah." Fat Amy says after she composes herself and remembers her said fiancee is right there

"He is really smoking, and the accent...Chloe better look after him properly unless she wants him to be hunted." You hear Stacie whispering to Fat Amy and the girls and they all giggle, even Cynthia Rose-confirming everything you just said about accents.

Okay, you thought you could count on them to give him a rough time instead they give in _so easily_  and fall all over him and his British charm.

You bolt up quickly feeling something like word vomit threatening to leave your mouth, no it's the sour taste the telltale sign of real actual vomit about to come out.

"Hey do you need help?" Luke says when you nearly topple over and fall to the ground.

"Don't touch me!" you say as you feel strong arms catching, supporting you. You push hard against whoever it was.

"Beca, woah hey what's wrong?" It's Jesse finally back from having fun. He was having fun while you've been lying down feeling like crap. It wasn't his fault-but you needed someone to unleash your anger at...and right now Jesse seemed like the perfect candidate, serves him right for leaving you.

"Bathroom, where's the bathroom... I need the Bathroom. I might puke so you better..."okay everyone parts like the red sea because right now not only are you fuming, banging thing about and a bit hysterical, you're overly-emotional and you're not sure if anyone even Jesse knows exactly how to deal with you.

It's Chloe who without a word- quickly leads you to the bathroom. figures you were so drunk you didn't even realize you were just a few feet away from it

This is _so_ not the way you'd prefer her to see you again after all these years...you thought that coming from being stuck several hours sleeping in an airplane would be the worst look, but no, here you are leaning over one of the bowls feeling the onslaught of alcohol violently leaving your body.

But she's pulling your hair back, dabbing at your face cleaning you up and she's looking at you with  _that_  expression again, and you're taking in shallow breaths and it's all you can do to keep from crying, from letting her see you this vulnerable, this pathetic just from missing her and seeing her again after all these years.

She even helps carry you over to one of the chairs by the bathroom.

She opens her mouth to speak ,to say something to you for the fire time in five years and you wonder what she'll say...

"Chlo I was wondering where you'd gotten...hey it's Becky from Barden right, are you feeling better?  _Oh please he follows her to the bathroom, stalker much?_

"It's Beca-it's Be-ca, Luke...and i'm feeling better...thanks" you can't help the animosity, you can't help but hate his annoyingly handsome face.

"Luke remember Beca Mitchell my-my...friend, one of the Bella's?"

that pause, the hesitation before the word friend... it sobered you up really quickly. It's like Chloe herself confirmed in that pause that she herself wasn't quite so sure of what exactly your role is in her life anymore.

"Oh of course, how could I forget Beca , How come you never corrected me before though?" Luke is regarding you as he would someone he was close and well-acquainted with his smile was wider now. What was that all about?

"She's the one who produced and sang the back-up vocals for All I see is Blue. I follow your work quite closely. I always knew you'd make it big... your mixes back in College were unlike anything I've ever heard before. Cynthia Rose worked with you that one track-Jiggle Juice... man her voice was just well it gave me an eargasm, the beats were so sick. Chloe and I listened to all the songs in your album on the way over."

Stop being so nice. You really are determined to hate him, since everyone already seems so fond of him.

You see both Jesse and Aubrey coming your way, Jesse you think is looking to get back in your good graces cos if he couldn't tell by the way you shouted, you are more than irked with him, and maybe Aubrey to give you some lecture -but whatever.

You aren't jealous, but why did everyone get to be so freaking happy together? You freaking hate happy couples more so, at the moment.

Chloe was supposed to be with you, you were supposed to have the chance to get close again... then eventually get to woo her-but no, this guy had to come up and just ruin it all-

and the safest thing, the most radical out of nowhere thing that you can come up with is to say you're attached too because you don't want to look pathetic all alone while Chloe is all loved up with that English-buffoon.

And without a second's pause-as Jesse and Aubrey step into both Chloe and Luke's sight you spit out,

"Well um I'm here, I'm with Jes-Jesse you remember him?"

You're sure a flash of something, flashes across all four faces confusion on Chloe, and Luke's, more like annoyance on Aubrey's part and utter shock on Jesse's.

Everything feels weird now with everyone just standing there in surprised, more like flabbergasted suddenly tense silence. Jesse, Chloe, Aubrey, and you- and Luke...

You're waiting for someone to crack...

but all that comes is Jesse' voice, your waiting any second, for him to deny it

but what he does say instead, while glancing at you first  _you can see his left eye twitching_ , and at the same time extending his hand to Luke is "Jesse Swanson, Beca's boyfriend."

* * *

Ooh what now?

Up Next: Dinner Conversations with all the new "couples"

Cue the suspenseful music, speaking of music

One Republic's Counting Stars

Jason Mraz's If it Kills me -helped me write this

Wannabe by the Spice Girls was used in the story as i expect you all to know

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Previously on: The Trouble With Dreaming Is, You Still Have To Wake Up

_"Well um I'm here with Jes-Jesse you remember him?"_

_You're sure a flash of something, flashes across all four faces confusion on Chloe, and Luke's, more like annoyance on Aubrey's part and utter shock on Jesse's_

_Everything feels weird now with everyone just standing there in surprised, more like flabbergasted suddenly tense silence. Jesse, Chloe, Aubrey, and you- and Luke..._

_You're waiting for someone to crack..._

_but all that comes is Jesse' voice, your waiting any second, for him to deny it_

_but what he does say instead, while glancing at you first you can see his left eye twitching, and at the same time extending his hand to Luke is "Jesse Swanson, Beca's boyfriend"_

* * *

Okay Maybe claiming that you were with Jesse wasn't the best idea...

_Really, you think? You're only figuring this out for yourself now?_ \- See you're even having a fight with yourself, which isn't usually a very good sign, not that you need any more people pissed at you, well there's only two so far; Aubrey and Jesse who are both giving you the silent treatment,  _how very mature of them._

You tried to get Jesse to one side and you think he heard you thanking as well as trying to apologize him. He did say "Don't, Beca"- but you aren't minding them. You're more concerned with Chloe.

Who, after what you said just pleasantly excused herself and went back to the table with Luke like nothing big had happened, but that doesn't quite explain how she's acting.

You haven't spoken a word to her all night, at least not directly nor she to you. You never really got a chance to after the whole standoff  _well it felt like a standoff_  at the bathroom. When you'd gotten yourself back to the table, everyone had pretty much sobered up and were ready to get some real sustenance in their stomachs and luckily, there was still time... or so Fat Amy said- _it was almost eleven forty-five in the evening_ , for a real sit down dinner.

So you all found this restaurant, more like a diner and the people who apparently knew Amy (everyone you've run into so far, seems to know her) they were closing but they were convinced to keep open their kitchen for you guys, to serve yourselves, they didn't even need to be persuaded they pushed together all the tables and summoned up all the chairs they could find just to accommodate all of you.

That's all great and all, except you are on one end of the table with Jesse who sat with you to keep up with appearance's sake while Chloe, Luke and Aubrey are on the other.

Everyone else seems oblivious to the drama of the night, or maybe they just shrugged their shoulders and chose to ignore or accept everything just as it is.

I mean, they really wouldn't know if you were with Jesse or not- all they know is that you came with him... maybe they too had shared speculations to the true nature of your relationship with him,

You're supposed to be joining in with the rest of the conversation but you're too busy watching Chloe,  _in a hopefully non-obvious, stealthy way_...

"Stop staring at her you'll freak her out", Jesse mutters to you, okay maybe tone it down a bit, but you're confused...if what you said didn't bother her why is she so off, so detached all of a sudden, she's barely touched her food. The laughter won't quite reach her eyes,  _okay you're still watching her but you can't help it,_

This is driving you crazy, now that she's right there you are trying so hard to understand what's going on with her-trying to read into every expression, every word, phrase spoken, and it's frustrating beyond relief...you are exhausted...you are gonna go crazy trying to understand Chloe.

Or maybe she's just tired did you think of that, she was in London the last week, then Sydney then she flew straight into Tasmania. It it were you,  _You_  wouldn't be in the mood for socializing as well,

But you can't seem to shake it off, because it's weird. This is weird the way Chloe is acting, you can't quite put your finger on it...she's cautious almost timid and dare you say it  _shy_ -Chloe was and is many many things but one thing she never was is shy especially around you.

She could be feeding off of your own vibe-but you've always given off awkward antisocial vibes and it's never stopped her before, so why now? You hate it, this was mostly your fault- the distance, the loss of intimacy with Chloe.

You chose this. You let this happen. You were either too busy, too heartbroken and in pain-you cared mostly about moving on and you succeeded to a point that now she can't even act normally around you.

Her disregard for your tough girl act your carefully laid walls, it's something that you'd relied on... it was always the dynamic between you two;her seeking you out while you tried pushing her away- _at least_ , that's how it once was in your relationship with her.

So good job, Beca. You finally succeeded. You've pushed her much further than even  _she_  can stand.

You finally come up for air from your Chloe induced haze and catch the gist of the ongoing conversation on your side of the table, You see the groom-to-be Benji making his way to Fat Amy,

"Woah Babe, Benji -it's supposed to be girls only in this side alright?"  _Okay why didn't you notice before that it was mostly girls except Jesse on your side,_

"But I missed my girl."

"So wait basically this is most of Barden Acapella group." you say, voicing out your inner musings from earlier "Who knew the Trebles and the Bellas would become one big close-knit happy family huh?"

"Yeah the only one that's missing is Bumper, where is that guy didn't he get signed as a back-up for JT?" They all turn to you, "Hey just because I'm in the Music Industry doesn't mean I know everything that goes on in there." you say.

"But you're the rising star producer-you gotta be in on everything. How else do you keep up with the competition?" Donald says,

"Please, he barely qualifies as the competition. Okay, fine... Bumper actually got signed and he now has his own album which only happened quite recently, He's going to release his first single any day now I think it's called Bumper Allan: I love myself"

"or Bumper Allan Ultimate Douche." Donald says

"And yet you were his best-friend" Unicycle says, you still weirdly don't know his real name but you're sure he prefers it that way

Lily whispers something in defense of Donald which makes him smile and Unicycle shudder the rest of you don't hear what she said and you really think it's for the better

"So you _can_  say, he's doing pretty well" you conclude,

"That's a matter of perspective...Because I think he missed out on something when he left Barden early."

"What do you mean Benji?"

"He missed the chance to grab this Babe up, I heard he actually came quite close-but lucky I was there to mend her broken heart after." The girls all simultaneously aww while the boys groan, hoot then applaud. _Neanderthals._

"Oh you-can you believe I'm marrying a complete cheese ball, it's alright I love all things milk based."  _Okay...anyway...moving on  
_

"What do you think Aubrey-Are the wolves ready to pounce and rip out all our vocal chords?" you ask Aubrey, which in hindsight was the wrong move

She turns red "I think all of that went out the window-when  _you_  started dating Jesse."

meow, hiss hiss. The kitty bares it's claws, _at least she's talking to you_

"Yeah B, how long have you guys been dating?" Cynthia Rose asks

Both you and Jesse turn to each other, but it's Jesse who answers "Oh, Beca's the one that keeps track of that kind of thing- for me it went by so fast I'm like how'd all of that happen, How did we even stand each other for so long? I mean she hates movies, that's weird right?"  _Weird, I'll show you weird._

"He likes watching the same boring predictable movies over and over again, and he  _really_  gets into it. He cries whenever he watches the Breakfast Club and maybe I  _could_  enjoy watching movies if he didn't quote ever single line aloud complete with actions every... single... time. "  _Ooh you're sure you touched a nerve he does love his movies._

"Well Beca, she's a control-freak, who likes to get her way like all the time. She'll go crazy like all out raving mad...if she doesn't. I mean you all saw a glimpse of that awhile ago " He really is pushing your buttons here,

"Did I forget to say that  _Jesse's_  a lazy ass slacker who- " Before you get in too deep into the slew of insults and consequently rise suspicion amongst everyone there, you cut it short, "Well nonetheless I guess they got it right when they said opposites attract, that's why Ikeep him around, why I keep ending up with him. "

"Yeah...and it always feels like the first time, it feels like the very first time...it feels like the first time..."  _He did not just start singing_ , you cut him off with a nudge before he gets the others to sing along, "It's just all so fresh like we suddenly  _just_  got back together again."

"Yeah we've been on and off." You finally tell Cynthia Rose and hope this answer will suffice

"And on again and off again and then Beca wanted to try new things, then she didn't and then she decides to be true to how she really feels and then she doesn't-" You kick his shin under the table, _enough you get it._

"Ouch! Honey, not in front of everyone, wait till we get into our room later." He pinches your side, it may look sorta cute to other people but that freaking hurt.

"Aw look at the two of you, I'd never guessed it that you guys would still be so happy together after all this time." Aubrey says taking in your interaction with each other, her smile so stiff you're afraid cracks are going to start showing all over her face.

"Me too." Jesse mutters to himself

"Well I'd like to think we're full of surprises." You say aloud to mask what Jesse had just said,

"Beca _sure_  is. She likes to spring things up on me so fast that I can't even retaliate-and like the fool I am, I let her, because i love her so damn much. "

How can everybody else not feel the animosity between the three of you, how could Chloe not read between the lines,

Denise decides to change it up, to ask the new couple, "Okay what about Chloe and Luke since you guys seem to love to travel together have you gone to the romantic cities like Paris, or Venice or Verona in Italy?"

You wish you could feel relief that the attention has shifted from the both of you but you'd rather go through the whole fake romantic history with Jesse all over again than listen to Chloe's current one.

"Well I have taken Chloe to those places before, we went to Le tour Eiffel, "

"Ooh he speaks fluent french," Stacie says impressed. She should really keep her hunter in her pants, or tightly locked behind bars she's practically eyefucking him-which you realize maybe that's what you were doing with Chloe, but you refuse to put yourself in the same ship as Stacie. Yours is purely innocent, while hers is well, you know, Stacie-like.

"He just said The Eiffel tower." you say

"Shush!" says everyone else. Honestly, how're they all lapping this up?

"We rode the gondolas in Venice but it's not as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. The gondoliers these days don't sing unless you pay them to do so," Well most of the boys are in their own conversations anyway and the one's that are listening are probably trying to get a leaf out of Luke's pretentious book for getting laid.

"Oh how romantic, speaking of romantic, We already heard about how you guys met but how'd you ask her Luke?"

"Um I'm not sure I follow...ask her what?"

"To be your girlfriend, acaobviously." says Aubrey like everything is getting on her last nerve which _it_ _probably is_

"Wait no, I'm sorry for the confusion... but Chloe and mine's relationship is strictly platonic. She's like a little sister to me. We travel a lot together because Chloe and I just started this online blog radio travel show we're actually being paid by lonely planet..It's actually doing really well."

Hold the phone. You want to scream a big loud whatdafuck? ...in the minute of stunned silence you and Jesse share a loaded glance, if you interpreted his expression correctly it's saying _I'm going to kill you-_ and yours on the other hand you think is somewhere between apologetic and confused and mindblown,  _if that could be an expression._

I mean what the hell is going on here?

But she's with Luke right, he's her plus one...what happened to them being inseparable or something.

Everyone else is as confused as you but it's Stacie who has the nerve to ask in her own very special way, "So you guys aren't fucking?" _R_ _eign it in girl, can she try being any less obvious._

"Stacie!" Aubrey says truly scandalized, it's the most genuinely Aubrey-like reaction you've gotten from her the whole dinner. You should probably explain things to her, but even Chloe and her don't seem to have a lot to say to each other.

"What? It's what everyone's thinking-or maybe it's just me, I'm just skipping past all the niceties - it's to the point, saves up on time .."

"But you can ask another way. Chloe, you don't have to answer that." Aubrey says,

"So you guys aren't together?" your voice comes out before you can help your self- it sounds strangled, you're hoping no one else noticed.

"No." Luke says,

Chloe just shakes her head, this is the first time you have said something to her. Her eyes are boring into yours.

You hate that you feel something jump inside of you, a flicker of hope maybe. But why, just because she was single didn't mean she was giving a signal that she was ready to date women. That she was ready to date you. That she was ready to date period.

But before you know it, and you really can't help it(you are telling yourself not to got there) your mind is already coming up with ways to woo her. C'mon a girl like Chloe, or just Chloe would be snatched up by circling vultures before she could even say the words I'm single.

"So Chloe's free then," Greg says jovially to Hat, Kollo, Steven Brian and Michael. Oh now that's what got all the other boys attention.  _Don't you dare_

_Y_ ou try, with the power of your laser eyes, to discourage them from all the way on the other end. _  
_

You can still feel several sets of eyes on you as well. Oh you almost forgot, Aubrey is practically melting a hole in your head, okay how can you be planning all that when you have other things to worry about.

You acted rashly you can't blame them-but they should give you a break. _I was drunk, sue me..._ can't be the best excuse, though it is tempting.

Now what to do. You can't just take it back by saying "Silly me, I forgot we'd already broken up. I was just playing a joke so I could gauge your reaction maybe to see if you were secretly in love with me as well." No that'd be even more pathetic.

So this reunion wasn't starting off as smoothly as you'd like it to be...

But it is just the start. You still have almost two weeks and then some to straighten things out, Things couldn't possibly get any worse could it?

* * *

Or couldn't it? dun dun dun-You'll just have to stay tuned to find out, won't you?

 


	7. Chapter 7

You have to set things straight now while it's still early, You've made up your mind...it's now or never. You pick up your feet and make your way to the end of the table, locking your eyes on your target, feeling weighed down with what you're about to say.

You decide to pull her aside, to the washrooms maybe, ask to have a word privately.

"Chloe-can we talk...I really really need to tell you something." Thank God you've finally summed up the courage to approach her to speak to her, maybe you've still got some liquid courage left in you.

"Oh sure," Chloe says hesitant, unsure, responding to your urgent, earnest tone "uh where can we go?"

"Anywhere but here...somewhere private it's really important" Chloe makes to stand up but Aubrey places a hand on her arm stopping her from doing so "What's with all the secrecy Becs. Do you really have to talk to her in private, what you need to tell Chloe you can say in front of all of us, I mean it's about time everyone started shedding light on what's really going on here." she says aloud successfully catching the whole table's attention.

"Yeah C'mon Beca what's with all the tension-what's going on?" Stacie asks

"Is this another big announcement, haven't we had a lot ...of those already like too many to count?" Fat Amy says half-serious,

"Go on Beca just tell her already...the truth. You owe all of us that" Jesse says, Everyone is staring at you intrigued.

"What's he saying Beca, tell me what?" Chloe finally says

"Please, Beca just do it" Aubrey says only Aubrey Posen could give such a desperate request and heavily demand something at the same time

Your throat has clogged up...your breathing really quickly, your palms are sweaty you're on the spot you'd rather have a panic attack than this, you're waiting for the panic attack...any moment now... any moment...You close your eyes for a really long moment and still yourself.

Has the moment finally come, you still aren't ready..how can you be ready this came out of freaking nowhere. No someone had to bring it up, you just wanted to get through this day but you can't seem to... Thanks a lot you think staring, glaringly at Aubrey.

"Beca." Chloe says squeezing your hand comfortingly looking searchingly into your eyes. You were always a goner whenever you looked into her eyes, making you give-way to anything she wanted. You take a deep deep breath.

"I'm not really with Jesse, I lied..." the low excited buzz that has surrounded the table turns into a hush "I'm actually not with any guy these days...cos I'm gay-well sort of I'm Bi..." You don't care about them you're watching Chloe, her face shifting from confusion to dawning comprehension.

"I lied because...I don't know I wasn't really thinking. I was jealous of you and Luke I thought you two were together and I..." you can feel your voice breaking "It made me sick to my stomach, I just couldn't stand it because I love you, I've been in love with you all this time Chlo..."

You see a smile stretch across Chloe's face and your heart leaps, but then her mouth widens, opens further and she starts laughing. You feel your heart dropping...your hair stands on its end as the rest of the group starts joining in.

"Pathetic Beca, that was just gold..." Jesse says wiping tears from his eyes,

"What did you think would happen?" Chloe says holding her tummy

"Stop dreaming Beca, you have to wake up!" says Aubrey grabbing hold of you and shaking you-

* * *

"Ow." that was you falling out of your seat, you are jolted out of your quick nap when the car pulls into an abrupt halt in the driveway of Fat Amy's home.

"Okay everyone girls... we're here. there are actual beds waiting for you inside, so Up up!" Fat Amy's wide awake poking and prodding everyone else who isn't.

How come your dreams have turned to the tragic and nightmarish lately, it's enough that you feel anxiety during the day, you want- no you deserve actual peaceful rest during the night.

You half-consciously make your way out of the van, all the way up some stairs and stop in front of huge oak doors...complete with metal knockers.

You knew Fat Amy was of wealth but this, her what-she-called as their cozy summer home was what other people called a freaking mansion. Seriously, you can't quite find the words to describe it.

She finds the key from under the mat  _they do that here of all places? No one gets robbed here?_  and proceeds to unlock it ushering everyone inside.

You thought the outside was absolutely awe-rendering and the tip of the iceberg but you take it back as soon as you step in...

"Damn" Yeah exactly that summed it up quite nicely. Everything was just...damn. Exquisite furniture, wall to wall art, you're not even into interior design and all those kinds of things but you can totally appreciate this- it looks homey-comfortable yet effortlessly classy something only few people can get the right mix of.

"Okay everyone we have a pretty lax day ahead but breakfast is served at seven sharp, you'll need to be up if you want to get any- from the look of it i hardly doubt any of you will be so good luck with that. No worries- as incentive i'm happy to say we have a special family remedy for curing hangovers...not that i myself have ever used it. But I had Ma have it ready for all of you, just in case."

"Yay." some of you say halfheartedly, some of you, the boys mostly aren't even able to stand on their feet anymore, no way they can even make sounds never mind actual speech.

"Okay since we all want to crash, I'll quickly read out your room assignments."

"Sorry what?" Stacie asks.

"This place may be huge but we do have limited rooms this side of the house, only six."  _Only_ Cynthia Rose mouths at you, you smile tiredly at her.

"It's fine. We've got no problems whatsoever with that." Luke says speaking for the boys.

"We all have to share rooms...but before you get any ideas, the boys are on one floor and the girls on the other. As much as I'd like all the couples to pair up and start our own mini parties- each and every member of my family is here... and I mean all of them and they are very traditional..."

"So what there will be like... three, four to a room, won't that be crowded?" Stacie asks not sounding at all concerned, more like excited at the prospect.

"Trust me, in no way will you feel cooped up like those fish that they put in cans what are those called again...starts with a B..."

"Bass?" Cynthia Ross supplies.

"I'm thinking maybe Barracudas." Fat Amy says grinning widely, looking around for approval.

"I hardly think they'd fit in cans...and aren't some of them poisonous if not really freaky-looking and hard to catch." Jesse one of the last-men-standing says.

"Tuna?" you say getting into the spirit of things.

"That doesn't start with a B, Beca." Aubrey says between gritted teeth.

"Sardines?" Chloe gives a guess,

"Oh yeah that's the one, that's what they're called " Fat Amy says,

"That so didn't start with a B." You mutter.

"Lighten up B." Cynthia says which evokes giggles from the rest of the girls.

"Whatever, just let me sleep already."

You are so not in the mood, within the course of 24 hours everything has been turned upside down, you just want some peace and quiet preferably far far away from Jesse and his scathing remarks, and further away from Aubrey the ticking time bomb...

Fat Amy's leading you through a series of pathways, seriously... you could get lost here. All the while you're dragging all of your luggage- usually you'd ask Jesse to carry some of your things- but no way will he allow you any more favors. Fat Amy finally comes to a stop and opens yet another door to the first room and Wow it's massive. It was three times bigger than your old flat each with a bathroom, and sliding doors leading to a wrap around terrace. All the beds are laid out, pillows plumped and ready to be slept on.

It takes everything within you to not collapse onto one of them right at this moment.

"All previous concerns satiated, put aside... okay good" Fat Amy glances around at her barely conscious crowd expecting a response, prodding at Denise who has fallen asleep on the floor.

"I'm all for it, let's hear those room assignments already m." Stacie yawns out.

"Hold your horses there cowgirl to get in the spirit of things we've decided to put your names into a cap-Benji here you can start your own for the Boys"

The Trebles pick themselves up and gather around Benji and proceed to do so while Fat Amy pulls out some strips of paper with your names in it.  _When did she find the time to do those_? And pulls off the cap of one of the boys, he's too far gone to do anything but tiredly moan at that

"-and assign you rooms. So this is completely random and no way contrived. Girls the sleeping arrangements are..."

She does a quick beat on her chest a couple of beat-boxing backed up silently by Lily. Where does she get the energy really?

Then Fat Amy quickly pulls out two strips which she reads in quick succession.

"Beca- Chloe." you look up and give Chloe what you think is the most awkward smile ever but you duck your head just as quickly when Chloe gives a wider smile in return. Dude you are a grown woman, what are you doing blushing like some preteen with a crush. Just Argh...

"and..." Fat Amy gives an audible gulp "Aubrey? Oh man... aca-awkward."

"What?" The three of you or maybe just the two of you give an almighty roar of outrage, Chloe just sounded plain worried.

_Seriously, I mean seriously...is the world trying to screw you over?_

"No way am I sharing a room with...her" Aubrey says

"Your hardly my first choice either..." You say but you admit it sort of stings--and you thought you guys were on the way to being not exactly the best of friends but better friends.

No way is that happening now, you don't really know what her and Jesse have going on but it must have been pretty serious or heading that way if Aubrey's gone back to her old Beca-loathing, her usual Beca-bashing.

You can practically hear what everyone else is thinking, _Thank god it's not me_ and _Poor Chloe_.

"The cap speaks. Hey look you seemed to have forgotten the third roommate is Chloe...so it won't just be the two of you." Cynthia Rose says that's right be positive, and upbeat Fat Amy turns to Chloe "Lucky girl, you get to act as a buffer between these two." The rest of the girls give Chloe conciliatory pats.

"Tough luck Chlo."

"So wait where were we? Ah Cynthia Rose, Stacie, are with yours truly I need to keep a close eye on the both of you to make sure you won't sneak out."

"I can manage myself just fine." Cynthia Rose says glancing at her girlfriend, "I take offense."

"I don't, I really do need someone to keep me in line, to command me...dominate me-"

"-and of course lastly Denise, Ashley, Jessica" Fat Amy quickly interrupts before Stacie goes all Stacie and starts some sex-riot or something

"Okay everyone... boys say goodnight. Benji will lead you up the stairs then down the east wing. There will be no sneaking around tonight-I'll be putting the combination on on this side of the house, if I'm not getting any neither will the rest of you."

You go up to Jesse to give a last shot at an apology. You throw your arms around him, "I'm sorry Jess." you whisper while he just gives a "Yeah I know, I'm still pissed at you though. You'll owe me for this big time." you're thankful he somehow lets it go and begrudgingly returns the hug.

"Come on, let's all just go to bed." Aubrey says walking away. Jesse eyes follow her looking quite helpless, he turns to you and shrugs "I hope it's all worth it in the end Becs." Jesse leaves after. "Yeah me too." you say to yourself, eyes following Chloe's figure all the way to your shared room.

* * *

Lights are off outside and everyone has retired to their respective rooms. Yawns and sleepy voices call to each other one last greeting before surrendering to sleep.

"I'm beat."

"Night everyone!"

"Till tomorrow, lights out in twenty minutes!"

In the room the three of you stand or sit around not quite knowing what to do. You've chosen your spots in the room.

Your bed is the closest to the entrance where you've gotten comfy- lounging, having strewn your things about. Chloe's and Aubrey's are on the opposite side, closer to the bathroom. Aubrey already organized her things in their respective places, her luggage stashed away, her clothes in the drawers you think they're color-coded, shoes all in a row. _OCD-much the control freak._

"Is it okay if I shower first. I feel like I've been living on a plane- I mean literally this time it was for more than 24 hours..."

"We understand, you can go ahead Chloe." Aubrey says not bothering to throw a glance your way, you just roll your eyes as you continue to ignore each other.

"Thanks Bree... but is that really okay with you, Beca?"

You nod vigorously the dream has really done a number on you, where have all your words gone. " s-kay" you finally croak out. Chloe doesn't sense anything's amiss, she smiles before she closes the door with her towel and toiletries in tow.

"Can you be anymore obvious." Aubrey says interrupting your thoughts when she moves to stand right in front of you.

"Sorry what?" You didn't realize you'd zoned out staring at the door. You tended to forget that anyone else was in the room when you just saw Chloe enter the washroom...there's nothing between a naked Chloe and you but a door. You were somewhat considering if there was anyway you could get it open maybe join her, save water, save the planet and all that.

"You heard me... I said obvious much?" Aubrey's standing there, her hands on her hips refusing to budge while you try in vain to get a good view of the door.

"Yeah I-I did, but obviously you are being pretty vague, care to elaborate Councilor Posen?"you say finally giving in and meeting Aubrey Posen's chilling blue eyes.

"Whatever, if you want to continue being a coward that's fine with me but can you at least suffer in silence and not drag other people down in the process?"

"If you're trying to say something...just go ahead and spit it out!" You finally shout.

"Okay, if you don't want to address the elephant in the room that is your freaking sexuality, then you must be real desperate if you're going for two people at the same time-it's either or...so just choose already. Don't lead them on, let them be happy.

"If this is about Jesse, Aubrey it's not what you think. Okay, it may be what you think but there's so much more that I have to explain...the truth is-"

"Why don't you talk to me when you start making sense... you know what, don't bother I'm wasting my time on you"

"What is your problem?"

"You tell me."

"I am trying to explain it to you Aubrey but you aren't listening..."

"You know what its not even you who I should be mad at it's myself- I let him lead me on, obviously he still had leftover feelings for you and jumped at the opportunity of you guys getting together again."

"Aubrey...don't be mad at him, he was just being there for me."

"I don't know what you have going on between the two of you and I can't compete with your history- I won't be stuck in the middle of it. You can at least be honest with yourself. You know what, you were supposed to be my friend...but how are you supposed to know anything you're hardly around-I knew better than to count on you. "

"Aubrey, wait Aubrey-I'm sorry."

"Go to hell Beca!" Aubrey says storming out of the room, catching you on the shoulder on the way out.

"You better be back in a few minutes Amy's going to be passing by soon. Don't go far, she might lock you out!" you scream after her retreating figure. All you get as an answer is a slam of the door.

"What was that about?" Chloe's back, oooh sexy back...Alert! Alert! You'd think of all people you'd remember how hot Chloe was in her night clothes,but what she's wearing short shorts and a tank top goes beyond your stored memories. This was the real thing, is it possible that Chloe became hotter in the past five years. Yes, she should still be confident about all that.

"You know Aubrey..and me...just catching up, communicating the only way we seem to know how." You watch as she moves around the room, hanging her towel here putting her clothes somewhere there till she starts making her way to you. You hope your eyes aren't giving of the helpless animal trapped in a corner look, cause that's how you sure are feeling right now.

"Well we have two weeks, still have plenty of time for things to get back to normal...I mean- the good kind of normal not the at each others throats normal." Chloe says as she finally sits as the edge of your bed.

"Yeah..." You say though you highly doubt it,

"Enough about me...so how are you?" You're dying to hear about her, hear the mundane things that you wish you'd never missed out on.

"I'm fine...I'm pretty happy, fulfilled, content but still single- as you know.-it's been a while since I've seriously dated, can't really go there in my line of work. I'm busy all the time, plus it takes too much effort."

"Yeah, I know what you mean..."

"Oh really but you and Jesse, you've been together almost five years now? You seem to manage fine. Well, I guess it helps that you work together."

"Yeah...something like that."

"Maybe I should have considered Luke...everyone seems to think we'd make a great-looking couple." _Trust me, not everyone_

"But the guy's my close friend, my constant friend these days, you know? Wouldn't want to make things awkward lest we don't work out, so it's best to not let anything romantic get in the way of our solid friendship...but that's just me." She says then pauses, "So are you happy...with him?"

"Yeah, you know Jesse's... Jesse." It seems pretty apt to use his name to describe him, you've been doing it a lot lately. Chloe's Chloe, Stacie being Stacie, because Jesse is Jesse...he would be the perfect guy, if Chloe hadn't been the perfect one for you.

"Yeah he is, isn't he?"

It feels like you're dancing around something...something you're not quite sure either of you are ready to address, and you want to tell her the truth, tell her something, anything, everything.

The words are just there, hanging in the air just out of reach. You contemplate how to break the steadily growing silence and you continue to sit there till at last you take a steadying breath and open your mouth-

"I've missed you Beca." says Chloe her eyes watery, a sad smile on her face. Her voice shaky, thin, emotional.

Steadily thruought the conversation she has been edging closer and closer to you-like she couldn't quite keep away-and you couldn't help craving for that final contact, the connection.

Her hand make a move to grab yours, but she hesitates- you take her right hand in yours instead and Chloe responds by squeezing it. You feel your heart getting squeezed also.

"Yeah-ahem yeah me too." your voice comes out gruff, your throat's all clogged up.

"No, I've really really missed you. You have no idea Beca. It's like- wherever I went I'd see something, hear something that reminded me of you and I don't know...I just can't believe I let us lose touch." Chloe gets out, she has both your hands in hers now.

"It's not your fault, I mean-I didn't try to contact you either..."

"It kind of is... I mean throughout the history of us...of Beca and Chloe-"

"Bechloe" you blurt out before you can stop yourself to which Chloe just furrows her brow, "Never mind continue" you backtrack quickly, you want to hear what she has to say.

"I've always been the one doing the pursuing, I could've tried harder, made us stay updated with each other's lives but I didn't and I'm sorry for that. Did you know that I was so nervous coming tonight. I was so worried, still am... about things not being easy, like how they were before."

You nod. Once again the two of you are so in sync. She's saying what you wanted to say- talking about her feelings, her similar apprehensions.

"But I don't know...right now...me being able to tell you this... it feels comfortable. I feel... normal for the first time since I arrived. Now it's just like old times, isn't it?"

"Not quite- but from now on we can promise to start working on doing better."

"Well we're both here now...let's just start where we left of then?"

"Yeah...sure." and to your surprise she gives you a great big Chloe hug. You are rendered breathless by the sheer force behind it-it takes everything out of you.

You feel... complete.

You let yourself have a moment of weakness in that hug. You pull her closer trying to communicate everything you are feeling, you burrow your face in the crook of her neck, you're breathing her in, letting your arms tighten around her waist and you can't help it a sob escapes, which causes Chloe to pull back a bit.

"Wow guess you really did miss me as much as I missed you, five years apart and you've gone soft. What am I to do with you?" You roll your eyes but you see her eyes have welled up as well. You can see every single one of her beloved features clearly from way up close, her cute nose, her lips and the silky tongue that peeks out to moisten it...

"So have you two kissed and made up yet?" Fat Amy asks appearing out of nowhere and you both jump. You flush as you clear your throat and move away from Chloe "Yeah Chloe and I are all right again."

"I actually meant you and Aubrey, but seeing as she's not here... Do you at least know where that loony went and in what general direction- not say up the stairs then down the east wing?"

"You are taking this no sneaking out thing pretty seriously..." You drawl, sharing an amused look with Chloe who moves back to her side of the room, starting on sifting through and arranging her things.

"Yeah got to be vigilant so I'm just doing rounds making sure no one's up to funny business- ten more minutes and I'll have to shut off everything, everyone needs the rest for what you guys are in for tomorrow."

Aubrey stumbles back into the room just as Amy finishes her sentence, looking significantly less upset, less crazy angry. Short evening walks must really do wonders. You'll probably do that sometime, explore the grounds in private, alone, preferably with Chloe.

Alone but with Chloe. Alone time with Chloe, _preferably_ naked. yeah woot woo.

"Oh there you are Bree, Fat Amy was just about to hunt you out." Chloe says excitedly. _How can she get any bubblier seriously and in this ungodly hour, maybe her body clock's a mess from all her constant flying._

"Had to clear my head- get away, I'm much better now. If you'll excuse me I'm a bit sweaty- I'll go ahead to the washroom." Aubrey says first grabbing her things and then walking towards the bathroom.

"Sweaty doing what and with whom?" Fat Amy jumps at her, effectively blocking the pathway, her eyes narrowed.

"I was only gone for a few minutes..." Aubrey rolls her eyes.

"You never know...I always say what the mind conceives the body finds a way to relieve."

"You came up with that all by your lonesome?" Chloe wonders back to your bed she nudges you aside and you just playfully roll your eyes and sigh in annoyance whilst she makes herself comfortable under your covers.

"I'm a poet at heart what can I say? So you didn't do... _anybody_?

"Argh." Aubrey says as she closes the bathroom door on all of you. You try to muffle your laughter, Chloe shushes you but her hands are covering her own mouth.

"That's a no then, she's way too uptight... definitely not." Fat Amy says making her way out stopping every now and then to glance at the both of you, checking the room.

"Yeah-night Amy. We're fine here."

"Night-I mean morning to you two. Yeah I'm leaving, I'm leaving." She finally leaves casting some dubious looks at some potted plants outside.

"And i thought Fat Amy couldn't get any..." You turn on your side and lean your head on your hand while Chloe mimics you trying to get into a comfortable position.

"Fat Amy-er?"

"Yeah..."

It's weird here you were worried that Chloe and you wouldn't find a way back to each other but here she was in your bed, snuggling, pressed to your side like it was the most natural thing in the world, like you both hadn't gone five years without this.

"We have our own beds for a reason." Aubrey says ruining the moment, you seriously can't catch a break.

"That was quick." You say wryly,

"Yeah, Well wouldn't want to take up any of your bathroom time, you have a few minutes left."

"Oh how thoughtful of you, Aubrey." she gives you a look then turns to Chloe, "Chlo It's late, go to bed already. I though you were tired."

"Yes, Mom. Yeah better wash up Becs we have plenty of time to chat the next few weeks." Chloe says getting off of your bed while you grab your own night things-Chloe pushes you then nudges you towards the bathroom she smiles at you through the crack of the door before Aubrey closes it for the two of you.

You can't wait for whatever's coming tomorrow, you and Chloe are alright, things are finally looking up.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got some action. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N At a long last here it.Thanks for sticking around-Got some action for you guys ;)

 

"Yes Beca!" Chloe moans gasps out between breaths and pants and all her beautiful sexy lust-filled noises echoes around your dorm room as you bring her to completion a third time-you give yourself an imaginary hat lift for that.

Ultimately it sounds of pleasure-the pleasure she gets when you get down on you knees and do something she loves you doing, that you absolutely adore doing to her because as with everything with Chloe you can never really deny her anything especially this and really who's complaining exactly- _Not you._

"Oh god that was-you are." you silence her, clambering up to her-kissing her, she groans at tasting herself. You're both breathing heavily at that, you're kissing all over her face allowing her time to recover, but it almost feels painful, it never feels quite enough-touching her, tasting her...but right now you need her to be doing the same to you to return the favor...you're aching for her to-but that wouldn't be happening anytime soon as you did render her practically comatose...

Yeah _Good Job_ Beca, guess it's time to take matters into your own hands.

You slowly slip your hand further down, not wasting any time as you really needed the release..you tease yourself a bit, smearing the wetness over your clit, pausing at your entrance, you're about to enter yourself when all of a sudden Chloe's own hand is there, "Don't you dare, you don't come unless I say so and when I want you to." she says, as she pins your hands above your head and instructs you to keep them there. You groan in frustration, you allow her to flip you over, for her to resume the top. It's unbearable her knee keeps withdrawing from it's rightful place between your legs-where you swear you feel yourself pulsating.

Dream Chloe equals major tease...actually she was in "real life" as well...actually this whole "friendship" of yours, the both of you felt like the most major tease of all time.

Chloe then slowly lowers her head to your breasts, you gasp as she trails her tongue over the bud, she gently laps at it-you lean up trying to get a lot more contact, but she pulls away.

She waits for you to still before she resumes the action slowly tracing the tip, and you once again thrust your chest upwards to no avail-"Patience is a virtue." she hums out and the feel of that makes you clench everywhere. She takes a detour, slowly explores your torso, your abs-and you're shaking when she reaches your navel but changes her mind halfway and she returns to your breasts-you're schooling yourself not to repeat the action and somehow you manage to- at this she gives a pleased murmur and finally lets her mouth envelop you breast, and her tongue to harden and flick at your stiff nipple making sure to pay equal attention to both breasts... adding her teeth into the mix and by now you are a sopping mess you're throbbing everywhere, you're looking for anything, any friction at all "Chloe!" you groan out, "Please.."

"Please what, be more specific..."

"Please just fuck me already.."

"All you had to do was ask nicely." She smiles sweetly, the next moments are quick. She gives you exactly what you want-she more than makes us for the teasing as she practically worships you with her hand first- then she doesn't give you time to recover before she quickly takes over with her tongue.

When you finally find sweet sweet release...you see... stars, you feel like she caused, no that you became...that you experienced a firework -a spectacular explosion once ignited "You're one amazing woman, Chloe Beale." you whisper in her ear, placing kisses along her jaw as she settles in your arms,. You let out a relaxed happy sigh yes-that's exactly what you needed..."I love you" you murmur as you feel your strength fading-the darkness overtaking you.

Your eyes are blinking slowly, you are trying to cling, to stay in the dream "No, I love you" she whispers, now you're fighting to keep your eyes open...but as with all the times you've desperately tried to remain awake, the faster it is you get pulled in.

"You heard me Beca, I said I love you..." Chloe's voice is fading, sort of like a radio with faulty frequency,

"I'm so in love with you..."

"Please don't ever forget it."

the last thing you see, you remember seeing is Chloe-her eyes looking so lovingly into your own.

"I won't." you murmur.

* * *

"Having a good dream?" real life Chloe says, her bright blue eyes close to yours.

"Holy Sh-" you say shocked at her proximity, still recovering from your dream-overwhelming the feeling of shock doesn't even cover it when you flail get tangled in your sheets and fall out of your bed.

"Oh my god, Beca!" Chloe cries out, rushing to your side. You fell pretty hard on your bum and you're sore, nothing serious though, but you're flushed-you're still reeling from the quick transition almost a merging of the dream into reality...everything was still  _so_ fresh.

"Sorry Beca, it's just I heard you on my way back from the bathroom...it sounded like you were having a pretty wild dream, you were thrashing about...so I decided to check up on you." she helps you up and starts brushing patting away some imaginary dust perhaps, off of you, you can't even describe how much that little a contact is affecting you...you've got goosebumps, and your nipples are hard pushing against your shirt.

"That was sweet of you"...but your dream was anything but...well Chloe was sweet in the dream...she tasted it too...okay...Uh you think the blood hasn't rushed back to your head yet.

"There you're all better-" she pats your but as she finishes checking you out. "I mean from what I gathered from my thorough examination, it's all good."

" Ooh kinky are we playing doctor now?" You get out before you can censor yourself, which makes you both pause for a second before Chloe starts to laugh.

"My, my Beca...why are you into that kind of thing?"

"Well-wha" you start to stutter.

"I'm sure we can find other simlar activities to keep ourselves preoccupied...but don't worry I'll let you know if I have any appointments open, any slots that need filling." Chloe winks, tilts her head to the side...and her grin widens suggestively...your face has warmed up..what does one say to that, your mouth is opening and closing but no sound comes out.

Chloe once again jumps in laughing "I was just joking lighten up Becs...Aw you should see yourself, I've really missed this surprising you-it's so much fun!" Chloe squeals-for a second there she looked like she wanted to pinch you cheeks but settles for hugging you instead.

"Can the two of you tone it down...We have to wake up early as it is and I'm trying to maximize the little time we do have to rest, so..." Aubrey's sleepy muffled voice comes from under her sheets, not even willing to raise her head or make any effort in talking to the both of you.

"Sorry Bree." Chloe whispers.

"Yeah sorry, I'm sure you  _need_  the beauty rest." You quip. Aubrey raises her head and you see that she has this green face mask on her face. "Too late-I always had my suspicions but now I know the She hulk exists"

"Beca." Chloe admonishes her eyes wide as she shakes her head at you frantically,

"What? We were just having a normal conversation, Aubrey should just but out..."

"I'm trying to get back to sleep if only some acaslut-pain-in-my-ass could keep their toners in their pants and their little wet dreams at a down low."

"Aubrey..."

"Listen you B-" you growl out Chloe lays a restraining hand on your arm you bite back your retort..."Wait do you hear that?" you thought you heard something

Before you know it the door bursts open and their stands a man with a trumpet soon followed by several other people carrying various instruments playing the buggle call Reveille

"Sorry guys." Fat Amy says when she turns up at the end, but she looks anything but as she too takes out an instrument-a Didgeridoo and joins in.

"Get up this is the wake up call! Fall in outside at the count of fifteen...fourteen...thirteen!"

You exchange frantic glances with the other two, run to the bathroom Chloe enters the enclosed stall to use the toilet-you head for the sink and only get to splash your face, as Aubrey all but violently nudges you out of the way-she frantically and unsuccessfully tries to remove her mask-you chuckle evilly at that. You brush out your hair quickly in your bed...and Chloe emerges from the bathroom looking...perfectly fixed up.

"How do you do that?"

"It's a gift."

_ten...nine...eight_

"We better head out, if this is how they wake us up, wouldn't want to see how they'd punish us if we don't play along." you both proceed to do so-you make a quick attempt at fixing your bed-you throw the covers on...and run out, Chloe follows,

_Four...three..._

"Aubrey get your ass out..." she finally appears, looking her normal color again-and roughly brushes past you-pity she couldn't wash of her bad grumpy mood.

"Fall in!" You do so outside in the enormous terrace stopping to admire all the rest of the weepy, just woken up severely hang-over faces of the Bellas and the Trebles around you, as you all spread out in a horizontal line facing the musicians, the guests facing the family members. You were in too good a mood to experience Hang-over...but your head does throb slightly nothing a good breakfast can't fix, that's what you and all the rest of your group are really looking forward too, you can't help envisioning a fantastic spread.

"Family sound off" the wailing voice belonged to a bald-headed, stout but somewhat miltar-ish built man he could've been Amy's uncle or brother you couldn't quite know-you really didn't know what to expect.

"O'kelly's line up!"

"Okelly?" you ask the girls closest to you-Cynthia Rose, Stacie, Chloe all shrug.

"It's obviously Fat Amy's surname!" Aubrey hisses

"So-rry we didn't know Fat Amy's surname!" you reply quite loudly, and mutter "or that she even had one."

"Who do ya think ya callin fat?" An older rounder lady says approaching your group, everyone shuts up almost immediately.

"Uh..." Everyone is at a loss for what to say...as family members looks gravely upon all of you.

"You like calling people names lass, would you like it if we did the same?" says the lady That's odd, she sounded more Irish than Australian with that accent.

"Sorry-we didn't mean any offense." you say speaking up for the five of you

"Why don't you step out of that line- get right over here!" the old man from earlier says, gesturing with his hands for you to approach him, you gulp nervously and look back at the rest of your Bella mates 'Help' you mouth "Go" Aubrey shoves you forward, you lose your footing but recover. You try looking back to send Aubrey a glare-"Come on Hurry up! I can't wait all day! " he bellows, you jump a little and move speedily forward.

As you near the man he doesn't get any less intimidating, he's BIG he just towers over you. You're shaking all the way into you boots-he could totally end you, he looks like he's seriously considering it.

You finally are face to face- more like face to ginormous chest with him,"I said come here" before you know it- he envelops you in a bear hug "and get into my arms you lil pint " he lifts you right of the ground.

Then they all burst out laughing, Fat Amy loudest of all, "You should have seen your faces!"

It seems it runs in the family, unorthodox methods of doing things- you see all of them various aunts and uncles with different builds ranging from tall to short, thin to wide...what they have in common-mostly they had blonde hair, big mouths and loud infectious personalities.

"I caught in on camera! I bet they thought we were going to eat them alive for a second there!"

He sets you down only to yell GROUP HUG! and the whole family proceeds to sandwich all of you guests between them and when you part you really do feel like you bruised a rib. At least they went easy on the girls you've seen hard punches being delivered to the guys arms...Jesse was still rubbing his.

"Welcome-and we don't mind, you can call all of us whatever you like. Me however you have to call-Mr. O'kelly. Naw call me Pawpa, I'm Fat Amy's Big Daddy!"

"My names Nan, Pawpa's Mother, and we'll just call you twig asian, twig ginger, twig tiny, twig chocolate. Man you're all skinny and lacking curves that we O'kelly women naturally posses. I thought America was known for it's cases of obesity? You all seem smaller and skinnier than the next..." the scary old lady is all smiles now, looking decidedly less scary.

"Uh Thanks?" you say, while everyone else just nods with awkward still-scared little smiles on their faces.

"Don't worry, we don't allow skimping around here-you'll definitely eat your fill here!" Na and Pawpa say rubbing their bellies.

"Yeah, breakfast in twenty! We just wanted to greet you all Good Mornin', ladies, gents...Amy and Benji will lead you into the dining hall for breakfast when you're all ready..." And they leave as quickly and suddenly as they had arrived.

What a wake-up call, it worked all of you are now wide-awake.

* * *

"So you're Patricia O'kelly?" you finally ask, while a couple of you sit around outside along a bench with Fat Amy, Chloe, Cynthia Rose soaking the sun, waiting for the rest of the girls-Denise, Ashley and Stacie who were still getting ready. It struck you, you never really knew Fat Amy's whole name, hell it took a whole year to find out her real name was Patricia...

"Yeah, As name's go it's pretty awesome...equally parts as awesome as Fat Amy, if i say so myself. But Fat Amy suits me better...it's just so... me." Fat Amy says her face serious, unapologetic. "I'm awesome." she says ending with a flourish, a little bow you inwardly chuckle.

"I never imagined you having a surname...Fat Amy is really Patricia O'Kelly...Patricia...O'kelly. Pat-ricia O'Kelly." you sound out, changing the emphasis on the letters-changing the intonation each time, which emits giggles from Chloe who's resting her head on your lap.

"Yeah we get it!" Aubrey says curtly from her position-lying on a separate bench.

"It's just weird." you conclude.

"I don't think it is..." Fat Amy yawns out, her feet stretched out on a table,

"Yeah we know you think it's awesome" Cynthia Rose says before she yawns as well

"You got that right!" Fat Amy adjusts her legs settling it more comfortably on Cynthia Rose who just shrugs.

"Patricia O'kelly!"...you say once more,

"Stop saying it-It's not that weird once you get used to it!" Aubrey growls clearly annoyed, banging of the bench with her fist. Aw Is wittle Aubrey having a wittle tantrum?

"You're so weird I can't get used to it!" you quickly retort, Chloe pulls herself up into a sitting position perhaps sensing the peaceful relaxing time was about to be short lived.

"Look who's talking!"

"Yeah you are!" Aubrey is sitting up and you are both exchanging vicious looks. Aubrey is lucky Chloe was still leaning on you, if not, you would have gone up to her. You haven't forgiven her for shoving you forward just a while ago.

" _Jesus_ when will two of you just quit it! How Chloe can stand this i don't know..." Stacie says turning up with the other girls finally ready.

"Sorry girls...had a hard time sleeping when I wanted to" "Yeah I really am sorry." you grunt out and Aubrey finally meets your eye-the moment passes quickly and the girls take it as a cue to move past it-Stacie and the girls join Aubrey on her bench content to just stretch out and join in the chillin.

"I never asked where and how did you get the Amy?" you ask after clearing your throat

"Well-Okay I'm about to go on about the origin of my name so bear with me-I'm just warning all of you, wouldn't want to make the effort only for you guys to lose interest half-way...

"We won't..." Chloe says

"So are you ready?"

"We' ready!" you girls says failing to sound enthusiastic. ten more minutes till breakfast was ready. You keep checking but the time won't move any faster.

"No-really are you absolutely ready?"

"Yes, we're freaking ready!" you say louder,

"Calm your tits! Don't need to be so impatient, I'm getting there okay...Amy was a Great-Aunt on my mom's side she died just a few years ago..."

"Oh I'm sorry-" Chloe says reaching for Fat Amy's hand.

"I'm not-" she laughs but recovers quickly at the less-than-amused, more like shocked faces around her... "I mean I should be, probably... but she was a horrible, bitter old hag...never liked me, said I was untalented and she never laughed, never even smiled once and much worse she said that I wasn't funny . I never forgave her for that one."

"Okay...Why you use her name then?" you question,

"Well Amy was also the name of her pet parrot, that she left in my possession-that thing I loved and it loved me-it was like... the sister I never had, It also taught me how to beat-box...you could say we taught each other."

"That actually sounds real cool, do you happen to have the parrot around?" Cynthia Rose looks like a kid on Christmas morning, ready to open her presents

"Yeah we'd love to hear the beat-boxing parrot!" Lily says from behind you-when did she, how long had she been there?

"No, you can't." Fat Amy says looking regretful.

"Why because it doesn't exist?" Aubrey says, she gets nudged by Stacie and the rest of the girls when Fat Amy's face turns solemn-an expression you haven't really seen on her face before.

"No because...Amy's making awesome beats for the other parrots up in heaven now." and Fat Amy's face crumples up-"Sorry...Damn that Crocodile it's all his fault!"

"A Crocodile killed your pet parrot?" shocked doesn't quite cover it-everyone's exchanging dubious glances

"No a Cat did."

"But you just said-you brought up a Crocodile-you said it was his fault" Stacie sounds so confused, you all are. Fat Amy' stories tended to do that to the best of you.

"Crocodile is a cat." There's a pause where the rest of you try to soak that in-try to make sense of it all but all you're getting is a great big- Huh?

"That made no sense whatsoever." Denise ventures out,

"Yes it does-Crocodile's the cat's name..." Ah...okay that makes perfect sense...but who names their cat after a reptile? Why teach a parrot how to beat-box...sometimes there are no answers,

"Well i can't be mad at the Crocodile-he died too, choked on Fat Amy-"

"So we can say that a Crocodile died while eating Fat Amy." Cynthia Rose says, Stacie snorts-which starts the rest of you laughing as well.

"So were was I?"

"You were trying to explain your name...you told us where Amy came from...so what about your surname and that old- that lady from a while ago...You guys aren't full Aussies or something?" you inquire,

" O'kelly isn't Australian as so much as it is Irish...well it's from my Dad's side and in Gaelic the name means "warrior or war". O'Kelly means a descendant of Ceallach or bright-headed. Hence all the blonde, everywhere...blinding you like the sun..."

"Cool." Chloe whistles lowly,

"I wish i knew my name's origin." You say almost to yourself

"You were right-totally awesome..."

""It was interesting all right"

You all break into different conversations excitedly. Fat Amy's phone starts ringing-"Un momentos i love mentos...excuses mois" Chloe and you exchange bemused smiles,

Ay ee ay ee ay I'm Your little butterfly Green, black, and blue Make the colors in the sky-Fat Amy sings along silently to herself before she flips her phone to answer "Yeah, yeah. yeah...kaola..yeah." she closes it turns back to the rest of the group and announces...

"Breakfast is served-"

* * *

Up Next: Breakfast Conversations, plans for the next week to be formally announced, start with planning for the Bridal Shower. More fun, drama to come!

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N At a long last here it.Thanks for sticking around-Got some action for you guys ;)

As you are led into dining room-you try to remember the passage you took from last night thinking it'd be easier finding your way in the light but it proves as difficult-you give up after the first left after the right turn choosing to mindlessly follow everyone as you clamber up some stairs.

"Keep up Beca, we were expected at the dining hall a few minutes ago-so we're taking the short-cut."

"Short-cut?" you ask incredulously

"Yeah-see I'm fit now...horizontal running does wonders...I think you're the one that needs the cardio these days."

You finally come across another set of doors "Yes and finally we have arrived we are here...Everyone Welcome to the dining hall." Fat Amy says dramatically and waits for a beat of a second and still nothing happens, she finally tries one of the doors "Wait uh sorry both doors were supposed to open as if by magic." "Stand back I'll try that one more time.." "Ahem, Welcome to the dining hall." Fat Amy says speaking clearly and the doors open just as she said it would.

"Woah, was that voice-activated?" Aubrey asks sounding impressed.

"No that was Tim and Dave our trusty door openers." Tim and Dave both step out from behind the doors and usher you in "Tim, Dave the girls, girls Tim and Dave"

"G'day Patricia-lassies. The lads have been jumpin to start but they been waitin on ya', your boy wouldn't allow them to start since you hadn't arrived yet."

"We better hurry We've been keeping them waiting long enough."

You keep walking cos' apparently the hall would have to lead to the actual dining room, but there finally at the end is this long table...and there on top of the magnificent long table-a feast for the eyes as well as the palate-with several fruits, sweet summer berries, apples, pears, apricots and peaches as well as wide array of pastries, hot cakes, whatever you thought of that would be associated with breakfast -they had it...and sure you ate well-enough on a normal day but seeing this feast before you...you'd take full advantage of it they were right there would be no skimping...you're sure you'd be needing to go on a diet after this "I feel like I got my childhood dream of getting into Hogwarts...I think I'm in the great hall and that... is some welcoming feast."

"Exactly what I was thinking..." Chloe says taking the seat next to you, Jesse's on your other side, he merely grunted a greeting as you sat down-he wasn't really a morning a person.

"Dig in everyone-we've got the special elixir in the jug if you need it..." Fat Amy's Nan says gesturing towards the end of the table where the boys had started pouring it out-distributing it.

Everyone does as their told, boys and girls eat heartily...You pile some pancakes, chocolate pastries, some french macaroons plus a few other things onto your plate.

"These are goo-" you mumble around your macaroon-filled mouth, Chloe just giggles and reaches for a napkin to dab at your mess of a mouth after...You take the napkin from her when Jesse nudges you and casts a pointed look towards Aubrey who's glaring at you from across the table.

You finish eating and you sigh when you lean back-that was how you start a day...breakfast for champions. Smiley satisfied face are seen all around the table, Fat Amy takes advantage of the good mood and calls everyone's attention for announcements.

"Okay the session has come to order...first and foremost I want to propose a toast, I'm just over the top with happiness that all my loved ones are together in one room-I just love you guys I'm so...damn happy-and i swear...these two weeks will be the best ever I hope to make you all as happy as you made me."

Everyone raises a glass in agreement- "I'll drink to that" you say aloud and sip at the elixir-it's sharp and sweet..and refreshing whatever it is you don't really care anymore...you just know it works, you feel great.

"Okay also more importantly..we have t-minus one week and six days till said wedding and we just got word that...I apparently don't have a Maid-of-honor."

"What?" the other girls all shriek astounded, barely two weeks and no Maid-of-honor that spelt disaster.

"How come Amy?" Aubrey looks really worried for Amy...You kinda miss having Aubrey give a damn about you.

"Well...my cousin Hortensia...the bitch, she apparently has something more important...than my- her closet cousin's impending wedding."

"She got into a car accident on her rush to get here!" A tiny blonde lady says,

"Well Auntie Mae your daughter was supposed to be here, she gave me her word that she'd arrive earlier but lied about having some work to do but really she opted to hang with her boys so..."

"Okay- you can just choose from anyone here." Pawpa says, and Fat Amy breathes a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I can choose from my very best Barden friends...why didn't I think of that." Fat Amy says oh-too-casually. You don't buy it you think she had planned that all along.

"Or someone could just volunteer.." Chloe says helpfully looking at the rest of you Bellas. And you all stiffen, sure everyone loved Fat Amy but being a maid-of-honor had certain responsibilities and with her as the bride you had a feeling their would be greater, more explicit, out of the ordinary requests...

"What about Aubrey?" You say without a seconds pause, she was the safe bet-the perfect fit; good at organizing, good at keeping people in line...

"Why don't you want to do it?" Aubrey bites back, standing up from her chair.

"Wow I am so extremely flattered by the enthusiasm guys...yes keep on fighting for me..." Fat Amy drones out,

"Yeah..we can fix this...just give us time." you say to satiate Fat Amy's feelings.

"Wait a minute-I have a light Bulb!" Fat Amy exclaims

"Sorry what?" Donald asks finally rejoining the living after his second cup of magical elixir. Good question.

"She has a light bulb-an idea, go on Patty...what's your light bulb?" Pawpa says,

"If you guys are going to fight for me why can't you do it for real-like a competition...the one deserving will be my maid-of-honor."

It's amusing how different the reactions are from either side...the Bellas are exchanging worried glances, while the family members love the idea of a competition between the guests, the boys are only enthusiastic with the promise of seeing all the girls fighting each other.

"Why would we fight to be your maid-of-honor?" I mean," you phrase it delicately "why do we need the competition?"

"Why wouldn't you..it's hella fun and Hello...it'll be an honor...to be my maid"

"We'll have to discuss this..." Cynthia Rose says-while the rest of you nod in agreement.

"And We'll leave you guys to make up your minds." Fat Amy says. The two groups huddle together, you can still hear the O'kelly's giving suggestions sounding enthusiastic.

"So who's interested?" Stacie asks,

"I can't do the duties...we need someone who's good at that kind of thing it's not me..." You say, holding your hands up.

"And so you automatically think it's me..." Aubrey says referring to earlier when you gave her name.

"Aren't you the one who get's a hard on from controlling people, organizing things, making sure everything's perfect, Miss attention to detail?"

"You're acting like you don't manage a whole company by yourself..and so far it hasn't crashed and burned so you must be doing something right and posses some ability."

"You're a lawyer...you're smart-you handle all kinds of clients, deal with people from all walks off life...you're the only one that can handle Fat Amy and her out there requests..."

"You deal with wannabe, stuck-up nosed celebrities/musicians...I'm sure you can deal with Fat Amy. She's less of a diva, has less attitude than you deal with in a day."

"It's weird, they're insulting and complementing each other at the same time." Denise says in awe-you didn't realize that the girls had opted to sit back and watch you two have a go at it-they've been casually commentating like they're spectators, watching their favorite sport,

"Didn't think it was possible." Cynthia Rose says, passing out the pop-corn

You still haven't come to a conclusion when once again Fat Amy's calling the group's attention.

"Okay we've decided in that the competition will last a span of three days- starting the day after tomorrow...everyone of you girls will get the chance to compete against each other to win..."

"Okay, what do we win besides the maid-of-honor title..." you ask what everybody else is thinking,

"Since you guys don't seem to think it's enough and I have no idea why you don't...I mean you won't be doing much just completing last minute stuff with the wedding planner, of course organizing the bridal shower, bachelorette party and attending to my every whim ...and so since it such an important role I want My maid-of-honor to be fully committed. She can't be distracted but I also want her to be relaxed and comfortable. So what I'm offering up is a chance at a single room, not completely away from my constant surveillance mind you, but still pretty lax compared to everyone else..."

A room all to yourself...now that sounded good...but no, you like sharing a room with Chloe...maybe what you had to do was to help Aubrey win, then you could truly have the room with just Chloe.

Your imagining a cartoon devil you rubbing her hands together delightedly.

"Let the games begin!" Cynthia Rose shouts with renewed enthusiasm...with responding cheers from the Bellas all around-they can totally see the numerous perks at having a private room. You think you're the only one who won't try for it...

"So everyone better prepare-bulk up, sleep well-but not just yet...cos' tonight we're having a traditional Taswegian Barbie, you'll see how we eat chooks, snags and grill every kind of yabber!" Fat Amy hollers, her relatives hoot, and holler getting all pumped whatever she said must've meant something really good...

"Uh...Yay?" says Stacie,

"Americans-" Fat Amy mutters,

"We're just saying we'll have a Barbeque...with chicken, sausages loads of other kinds of food- traditional Tasmanian-like" Pawpa explains...walking up to your group

"Ohhh.." everyone says simultaneously.

"Okay that concludes are breakfast meeting, Run along now, feel free to explore, use the amenities. Just have fun!" Nan says to the delight of everyone who after excusing themselves, break up into different groups.

* * *

"I suggest that you all try the pool, Meet you all there beautiful ladies..." Fat Amy says before any of the girls leave.

"What do you think?" Chloe says nudging you, as you walk along back to your rooms. Aubrey's trailing right behind you having a discussion with Stacie.

"Sounds fun but I don't have a suit."

"Neither do I but I still want to swim." Chloe says

"We can always go naked." Stacie says from behind you, Chloe seems to agree-"Ooh la la."she says grinning widely.

"No absolutely not." Aubrey and you say, "Jinx" you say while she rolls her eyes.

"I have an extra suit-it's new...if you want you can try it on." Fat Amy offers,

"Uh...I don't know...I don't think it'll... fit"

"You wish you could fill in my sexy bikini...Actually I have a whole stock of suits in all sizes for everyone... you know I got carried away getting prepared for you guys...I uh took into account several scenarios...you can say I'm prepared for anything."

"So we can try on the different suits-we can we have a swimsuit fashion show, that'll be fun!" Chloe says excitedly, the others namely Denise, Ashley, Jessica and Stacie gladly go with it...Fat Amy who can't really back down from her offer, acquiesces. The one's who are left Aubrey, Cynthia Rose and you are dragged into it having no choice...Lily you don't really know what she thinks of it.

Beside the long stretch of the pool are several changing rooms and right beside it is where the girls are conducting their Barden Bella fashion show-the boys have gathered by the pool as well to enjoy the spectacle. Each girl had to go into the bathroom wear their chosen suit-walk out and receive critique from the ladies- they each had three tries-then when they found the perfect suit only then would they be able to walk out and work the said swim suit in front of the onlookers.

Stacie offered up a rule that if by the third swimsuit none of the girls still didn't like what the said contestant was wearing-she would have to go out into the pool naked, to which...Aubrey vehemently disagreed upon-Chloe gave the option of choosing to jump in in their underwear or in their full attire instead.

Stacie and Fat Amy get it right on the first try-Stacie walks out in a hot red two piece, the top has a beautiful bow- holding in her goodies, and a folded bottom. You almost feel hesitant sending her out, you have a feeling the boys would pounce as soon as they caught a glimpse of her-

But Fat Amy wasn't done, she wasn't going to be trumped-she marched into the room wearing a bedazzled, bright pink sexy shirred one piece. And she looked simply amazing. There was an awed silence that followed.

"Don't look  _so_  surprised...but maybe I'll take it as a complement...yeah I, Fat Amy, just blew your minds." she says then makes her own explosion sound effects, " If you don't mind...I'd like to give my fiancee a little preview of what's to come." She says stepping outside, there's a similar reaction you hear Benji give an overwhelmed "I love you"

"Wow." Chloe simply says, capturing everything perfectly.

And the rest of the girls get it right just before the third time or on the third try. No one ever exceeds it, you're scared you'll be the first one to.

Cynthia Rose on her second try appears in a corseted one-piece, a beautiful shade of green. She looks, ill at ease but she can't fight the smile when everyone starts wolf-whistling and cheering.

"Damn!" her girlfriend says, as Cynthia Rose, gaining confidence starts strking pose after pose to the delight of the crowd.

Aubrey kept it simple with a beautiful white bikini top which she paired with a skirt, it showed of her nice arms and slender figure.

And then the moment you'd been waiting for, for what feels like your whole life. Chloe's turn...she emerges in this tank top bikini number-it's a beautiful shade that matches her eyes.

Your heart's thudding. Chloe was always the right combination of sweet and spicy- She could do cute and sexy...she could do either cute or just sexy...right now she was doing just sexy, oh so well. It was drool worthy, you had to keep yourself in check, checking that you weren't standing in your own wet mess,

You are a wet mess, you think, crossing your legs.

You're trying so desperately to reign yourself in-to hold back with your blatant staring...but she's perfect-with her perfect figure-not too skinny, curvy but just right-in all the right place, legs that would make any woman jealous. Venus de Milo with arms and a head... A true vision of beauty.

You are snapped out of it when they nudge you forward, you almost crash into Chloe who's grinning wickedly,

"Your turn Becs!"

"Oh Shit. Are you ready for this" you think nervously when you are standing alone surrounded by numerous bathing suits to try on- facing your own reflection,

First a Maid-of-honor competition and now this, if this first day had any reflection on how the rest of the week would pan out-you have a feeling you have to buckle in cos' you're going to be in for a wild ride.

Up Next: Will Beca jump in the pool in her swimming suit or fully clothed? Get ready for some fun Pool Times, and a Barbecue after.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the girls go swimming but first they get their own version of a swimsuit competition, they need to get it right, that or being thrown into the pool.  
> Beca's next.

It's like you're begging for us to throw you in," Stacie comments when you exit for a second time in one of the more tasteful outfits;a one piece, dark blue suit that you thought looked okay. Apparently you were wrong.

"Whatever. I'm so over this." you grumble, reacting defensively, crossing your arms and hugging yourself, prompting the rest of the girls to groan simultaneously. You can see them settle back into their chairs-knowing that they won't be swimming-joining or starting the pool party any time soon. They don't really have to say anything, you know that they're humoring you- not wanting to be pushy or impatient.

But you're feeling just about ready to give up and take being thrown into the pool in your clothes. It wasn't like it was the worst punishment you could think of.

Chloe, who ever since you two "made up" had resumed her heartwarmingly nostalgic ways of sticking really close to you at all times, is quick to pacify you-getting even closer- taking your hand and holding it loosely between hers.

"You still have the one try, you can make it count..." she says, "I know that we saved the best for last." You smile a little at that to show how much you appreciated her positive- upbeat self, her almost crazy belief in you.

And you sorta needed the boost of confidence. You talked big about being a bad ass but seriously, you never felt comfortable being looked at especially when out of your comfort zone- parading in less clothes than necessary, qualified as such a time.

_Seriously_ , your usual attire consisted mostly of several layers, no layer upon layer upon layer. Beach wear for you was rash guard/swim shirts with shorts. If you went with the really tiny bikinis you'd seen -you might as well just have jumped in naked. You made up your mind to stay far away from all things two piece, you were going to look great in something less revealing...

It's not like you were completely against looking pretty or sexy it was fine with you, because you _could_  do sexy-work it when necessary -but Chloe was there-and so was the pressure to look totally awesome...to impress.

And you've been failing-why, because you're over-thinking things, letting your minor insecurity overtake, even outshine your usual cocky, assured, self- chipping away at your plain bad ass-ness that you usually exuded naturally.

"C'mon Beca, show 'em what you got!" Chloe says gripping you by the waist-did she just tickle you, yeah she did...you squirm away, trying to laugh of the nerves- the very violent butterflies fluttering about causing utter mayhem in your insides,

You're attention is quickly diverted by a noise- sounding distinctly like a scoff. Aubrey's special Yeah-right-Beca-sucks scoff. At the moment you get a surprisingly clear warp flashback of Aubrey in Barden; how she used to look down her nose at you, belittle you and your ideas, how she had called you a bitch upon meeting each other. You remembered all the reasons why you had disliked her so much in the first place and right now you can't even stand the thought of that annoyingly smug, I'm-smarter-better-than-you grin gracing her face once again as she witnesses your public humiliation.

"Beca...don't be a spoil sport, we all did it...subjected ourselves to humiliation" says Cynthia Rose in a just get it over with kinda tone.

Yeah, right. Some humiliation-she rocked it. She did surprisingly well. You not so much. Not at all.

"Well that was you guys. I, however, have a reputation to uphold...as much as you all want to see this rocking bod, it's not gonna happen." you say thinking maybe there was still time to talk your way out of it.

"Yeah right-weren't you the only one who publicly made a fool out of herself when she was trashed just the other night" Aubrey says, causing you to grit your teeth as you tense, Chloe sensing this starts to rub up and down your arms comfortingly. You expel an annoyed breath at how effective it was in calming you, almost turning you into mush, putty in her hands.

"C'mon Beca we all know you've got the goodies...be willing to flaunt them for a change. I mean I do at every opportunity...we're the ones who got to deal with the back problems, but these," Stacie says while once again groping her chest, "are the power we wield...so use that power Beca, but use it wisely... there's a certain amount you can expose that's a fine line between classy and trashy. I am the perfect balance between both" Stacie smiling confidently, shrugging her shoulders.

Right, okay...let go of your breasts now woman.

"Uh Thanks for the words of...encouragement. You have such moving words on woman empowerment there Stace, really." you say. She rolls her eyes and laughs, taking your sarcasm in stride.

"You go back in there and you better come out looking as fine as we know you can be..." Cynthia Rose says,

"Do it for us" Denise says.

"Do it for the Boys-hello!" Stacie says, Uh no. N-O. Maybe you're face betrayed a little disgust because Ashley says,

"Do it for Jesse."

"She should do it for herself..." Chloe says, turning you back to face the dressing room before she pats your behind which starts you walking.

"Don't worry, I know that we will all get to enjoy swimming...Beca will get to swim either way. It'll just be more enjoyable watching her get thrown in first..." Aubrey says, before she calls after you "let's see just how big a splash your rocking bod will make hitting the water."

The rest of the girls laugh and giggle a little, the sound traveling around the room.

You narrow your eyes and make up your mind to shut Aubrey up once and for good. You march back into the room and snatch up the black skimpy bikini that you had spied first and consequently thrown back into the pile once you saw how small it was. It hardy covered anything...Well, to hell with it...

C'mon you're hot. You know you're hot. The more you think it the more you feel it right?

Right now you're thinking that your silly little pep talk sounds a lot like you're trying to convince yourself of something that isn't true.

C'mon shake it off, shake it off,

This isn't working you need try something else. You'd heard something- some activity where you complement yourself aloud in front of a mirror, it did something like help in buiding up confidence or something like that.

You look around making sure you were still alone. You'd be more than mortified if someone walked in and caught you. You don't have to imagine what they'll think if they'll see you staring almost concentrating really hard on your reflection

this was like one of the weirdest things you've ever done but here it goes

"I am Beca Mitchell, I am a Bad ass, I am hot. I am hot as hell..I'm finnne." You were totally going to wipe the smiles off of their faces, you think confidently.

hey that worked pretty fast.

You quickly slip into the suit...and stop by the mirror to see the effect and you think you do look good, really good- you looked better than good 'cos the suit really fit, tight in all the right places- emphasizing all the good stuff.

Your pulling at the clingy material-still feeling a bit uncomfortable. Seriously you've never been in such revealing outfit...the only time you were this near naked in front of a whole entire audience was when your mother gave birth to you, and you didn't really even have a choice at the time...seriously what does donning a swimming suit do anyhow-you don't like how girls had to dress sexily to get other people's attention and how some certain people took advantage of the view.

Yes, you are aware you're being a hypocrite right now because the last part sure sounded a lot like you, like it was pertaining to you alone.

You never felt the need to dress up or dress down in this case to fit other people's standards but you might as well-you're already there...

"Will you hurry up, we can't wait all day you know..." Aubrey says loudly

_Here goes nothing_  you think before you finally step out...

You cringe at the silence, but then...

"Damn..."

"Woah sexy mama"

is all you hear, next thing you know-people are on their feet applauding, slow clapping.

You look past the upright figures and find Aubrey. Aubrey who has been noticeably silent amongst the ruckus.

"In your face Posen!" you say reveling in shutting her up, basking in her inability to think of a single retort

Fat Amy is giving mock bows, "You the man, I mean- woman."

"Ditch normal clothes, you should totally wear bikinis all the time..." Chloe says, which causes you to blush heavily. It darkens when you're sure she gives a slow deliberate elevator look, all the while smirking to herself-when she meets your eyes she waggles her eyebrows at you before she breaks out of it and starts giggling.

You roll your eyes but you can't stop the wide, embarrassed goofy smile gracing your face at all the compliments most especially the last one.

"Enough of this I think it's time for us to start the party girls!"

The Boys sounds are deafening when you all walk out one after the other,

"Finally!"

"This is why we decided to wait so patiently- more than worth it girls"

You take a seat by the edge of the pool and dip your feet in enjoying feeling the cold water around your legs. But after a few seconds pass you stand up and walk over to the lounge chairs. It's weirdly, eerily quiet. You're looking around, wondering why no one is going in yet...Fat Amy's noticeably absent.

"I don't want to get my hair wet." You hear Aubrey say from one of the chairs as you approach her and Chloe- making you roll your eyes.

"Then you shouldn't have decided to join a pool party genius." you snort, sitting then leaning back on one of the chairs ready to soak up some sun, thankfully Chloe's right in between the two of you.

Aubrey's retort gets drowned out when your attention is grabbed by Chloe- She's started rubbing sun block all over her body, your eyes drawn like a magnet following the path of her hands- trying not to salivate- as she rubs up and down her legs...working her front first- her hand slipping underneath the suit occasionally. Then starts rubbing at her back...

"Like what you see?" she asks, and you stiffen when you raise your eyes and see her looking at you smirking in amusement-caught in the act.

Way to go- fuckin obvious- you should have slipped on shades to cover your blatant staring. She's cocking an eyebrow questioningly- awaiting your answer.

"No, I mean yes...but it's just that you... you missed a spot."

"Are you offering to lend me a hand?"

"Nah, You're almost done anyway...it's just here-" you take her hand and lead it to the spot..." you couldn't risk touching anywhere else, you don't think you'd be able to control yourself. Your eyes stay locked for a mere moment-you break it first, looking 'round to see if anyone was watching the two of you.

"Thanks Babe." she says, laughing lightly before she settles back down on the chair.

You let out the breath you didn't know you'd been holding and do the same. From here you look around, seeing what the other Barden people are up to. Some are by the pool splashing a little here and there, but no one's  _in_  the pool-guess the suits were just for show. Stacie's making quite a show-she's quite the spectacle, as most of the Treble boys including Luke hang around unable to take their eyes off her.

Most of the Bella girls seem content to laze around.

Fat Amy suddenly reappears, coming from the house armed with some snacks-a lot of snacks and drinks. She puts her things down and looks around to where the Bella girls are lounging about around the pool- confusion growing in her face as she takes in every single one of you-and your lack of... activity, of movement, of partying, or any sign of life, perhaps thinking that everything was a little to tame for her taste...she takes out a whistle and blows it-effectively catching everyone's attention. She makes you jump further still when she shouts-

"Let the pool party commence. Boys take out your weapons...LET"S GET WET!" Fat Amy hollers,

The boys start pulling water guns, pails, water balloons and even some hoses-not just any garden hoses with weak sprays freakin fire hoses with the strong jet stream- out of nowhere-drenching each and everyone of the girls but you just managed to get away relatively unscathed...

havoc ensues...all hell breaks loose; the music starts somewhere.

I _don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_  
 _You're living in the past, it's a new generation_  
 _A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do_

The rest of the girls are shrieking scattering, running every which way around the pool trying to avoid the harsh strong steady stream of water coming from all sides as they boys follow, laughing maniacally.

_An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation_   
_Oh no, not me_

_An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_   
_Never said I wanted to improve my station_   
_An' I'm only doin' good when I'm havin' fun_   
_An' I don't have to please no one_

You spot Chloe cowering behind some chairs-you look left then right before you run up to her, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her along to follow you to safety.

"Chloe, follow closely. I'll protect you." you say, as you are both creeping stealthily- you're trying to pull her behind you in order to shield her but she keeps trying to do the same to you..." Someone has to protect my tail." you say reasoning with her

"Fine" she says and finally desists.

The two of you start running then just as quickly you duck behind a bush. It's a war zone right in the middle of the lawn but you have no choice, you need to gather supplies and what not, and you have to cross the field to get it.

"On three, we run okay remember stay close to me."

One... two...  _three_!"

You're pushing past boys most of them twice your size...feeling yourself really getting into the fight, This song always made you feel like you could kick ass.

You've always secretly enjoyed competitive, extreme sports like laser tag and paintball...you dominated in those kind of activities. You weren't afraid to get hit, as a matter of fact it was you who got too rough and got carried away sometimes. It really was the best kind of stress reliever.

You made it a point to do so every other month, it really depended on your schedule. You even appointed it as one of the team building activities whenever you had company retreats. Funny how it was Jesse who had first introduced it to you when you had been dating and then you sorta got addicted. After a while you got better than him-he hates you rubbing it in though.

You think you loved it so much because you were really a combative, competitive person by nature...and these kinds of activities brought out the worst or maybe was it the best in you.

You grab one of the hoses before spraying several someone's hard in the face before managing to grab not one but two water-guns, ready to toss the other to Chloe...who's disappeared. That's weird she was right behind you. And you start firing at any man who crosses your path. You're water gun trigger-happy and then Jesse crosses your path...and you stare at each other hesitating "I don't want to hurt you Jess..." but he just gestures his hand in an unmistakable 'Bring it' motion before you fire at the same time, his spray narrowly missing you...Ha! you think, but nothing more comes out of yours-aw...your gun is empty.

"Sorry Babe" He says smirking when you put your hands up in mock surrender-and then continues to fire at you and you're simulatenously trying to back away and at the same time cover your face-where he keeps aiming, when you hear Jese give a yelp of surprise...

"Get away from her!" You blink away the water. Chloe had come to the rescue with he own fire hose spraying him right in the kisser,

"Sorry Babe" you laugh, running past him. He's still dazed, recovering from the attack; spitting out the water, shaking his head trying to get it out of his eyes, ears and nose...

_An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation_

The other Bella girls aren't ones to go down without a fight as well-after initially running away the girls come back prepared... Fat Amy is a beast, together with Stacie and Cynthia Rose they have a whole pail full of water balloons, and they're throwing them like grenades running fearlessly into enemy lines  
 _Oh no, not me, oh no, not me_

_I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_   
_I've never been afraid of any deviation_   
_An' I don't really care if ya think I'm strange_   
_I ain't gonna change_

* * *

_That's O.K., lets see how you do it_   
_Put up your dukes, lets get down to it!_   
_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!_   
_Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!_   
_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!_   
_Fire Away!_

_You come on with a come on, you don't fight fair_   
_But that's O.K., see if I care!_   
_Knock me down, it's all in vain_   
_I'll get right back on my feet again!_

The epic battle soon comes to an end, and everyone's soaking wet, but people are cheering, laughing about it, looking like they just had the time of their lives ...so you could safely say it ended rather well with no hard feelings at all.

But HAha Trebles, the Bellas totally ruled that one.

A noise catches your attention-and you suddenly spot Aubrey who's still remarkably dry-appear out of nowhere, wait did she come out from hiding in the changing room ...that unfair, genius bitch...

_Hit me with your best shot come and hit me with your best shot..._

You think you're gettin carried away-you're blaming the awesome song choices- when you decide to up the ante. You are going to get Aubrey good. You're watching her waiting for the opportune moment-she's walking by the pool edge to get to the lounging chairs and you see the perfect opportunity. You don't take a second to think about the consequences, speedily running by "accidentally" nudging her with some excessive force.

You're biting down your laughter at witnessing Aubrey's attempt, how she's flailing trying- _so hard,_ to keep in balance- before you hear the big loud SPLASH! and your control finally breaks as you collapse onto the floor in stitches, literally ROFLing and you hear the accompanying laughter from everybody else.

You're wiping away tears, clutching hard at your tummy,

"I am going to kill you!" Aubrey's gasping spitting out water as soon as she surfaces and seeing her appalled face does nothing to quell your laughter-only prompting you start a new laughing fit.

You watch as she tries to get out of the pool by herself, trying to pull herself up quickly (she had fallen in the middle of the pool nowhere near any of the steps or pool ladders) she was refusing all offered assistance-especially from Jesse trying to retain what was left of her dignity.

All at once it seemed like everyone wanted to join in, following your lead; either pushing, pulling or even throwing people into the pool-You jump in instead to avoid anyone doing it to you, and laugh when Aubrey finally pulls herself out only for you to now be in the pool. Chloe hands her a towel, which she grabs rather forcibly before she walks away, you follow her with your eyes till she disappears into the house-and there's a twist in your stomach, an unpleasant feeling, almost like guilt.

Aubrey is put out of your mind for the time being, when your attention's caught, hearing Chloe laughing and screaming "No no no!" seeing her being chased- struggling to get away from Luke. You're thinking of coming to her rescue, but before you can actually do something about it, Chloe's snatched up and thrown into the pool in one quick fluid motion, landing several feet away from you. Luke wastes no time jumping in right after her. You're swimming frantically, trying to get closer, when Chloe finally surfaces coughing followed by Luke, "Ass" she says pushing him hard on the chest. Luke grabs a hold of her hands firmly, trying to avoid-fend off further attacks.

You're like the ultimate creeper. You're watching them situated perfectly; not too close that you'd be noticed and not too far that you wouldn't be able to hear their dialogue.

Chloe's struggling to get out of his grip,"Let go of me Luke." Chloe says calmly but you can hear ice behind her tone.

"Only if you promise you won't hurt me..." Luke says still not doing so-sounding terrified. What a freakin pussy.

"I promise..." Chloe says ceasing with her struggling. He looks at her face for a moment, measuring how much she really meant it, before he quickly let's go- but doesn't take any chances. He starts swimming away from her as fast as he can.

Luke stops, looking back- maybe to see how far he had gotten, if he had successfully gotten into safety- but is surprised when Chloe's right a his tail..."You promised!" he shouts before he continues swimming faster,

"I promise to kick your ass Lucas Hubert Paxton!" Chloe shouts, catching up to him quickly. Okay that was pretty scary.

They're staring each other down before they both break into laughter, and you're feeling that familiar surge of jealousy watching them-at how comfortable they were around each other; she's slapping his arm, and he's making a grab for her but she's evading him nicely- _That's my girl_  but he's persistent- chasing after her _She doesn't want you, Luke,_   _don't you_   _get the picture_  you think. He manages to catch Chloe and then he carries her and throws her again. They're laughing freely, raucously the whole time She gets back at him, jumping up to push his head underwater. Wow she heard your thoughts, you too were thinking of drowning him. But it's all in good fun- proof of just how close they are. Almost like how you were with Jesse, the only difference? You were absolutely sure that there could only be friendship between the two of you. Them not so much.

Argh you hated your irrational jealousy, it's what got you into this mess in the first place, But you couldn't help it. Every smile she directed at him, every laughter, every touch they shared...you wanted only for yourself. It was a crazy thought...but it was so unfair. Luke has gotten to enjoy being with Chloe constantly, he was around her almost 24/7 the past couple of years -they were much too touchy, too at home with each other for your liking.

You're sure Luke never ever had to hold back with his touches, scared that he might not be able to stop touching her once he started, You're sure he never had to arrange his thoughts before he spoke, lest he revealed his true feelings to her. No matter what they said about their relationship being platonic- he said he thought of her as a sister eh, but the way he was looking at her right now...you're sure it's crossed his mind...that he entertained the thought every now and then and you couldn't really blame him...She was Chloe, she was the kind of girl you couldn't help falling for. And worse she could fall for him-you can totally see it happening, and that's what scares you. Maybe one day...they'll look at each other and out of the blue they'll think 'Why Not', and actually get together like everyone else says they should.

And you're snapped out of your thoughts-you realize that you had been standing there motionless for several minutes, probably looking like some weirdo loser- when you are being splashed and rocked by the mini tidal waves happening all around you, caused no doubt by the boys who have started roughhousing in the pool.

You quickly swim away getting as far away as possible from them pointedly ignoring Chloe and Luke when you pass by.

* * *

You reach the other end, and you climb the steps and make a beeline for some of the girls; Cynthia Rose, Lily, Stacie and Fat Amy, who are waving you over, hanging around the snack table just a few feet away from the pool.

"Dude that was balsy move you did back there with Aubrey..." Cynthia Rose says, as soon as you reach them, clapping your back before handing you a glass of Coke and a club sandwich which you accept gratefully- taking one huge bite. What is it about swimming that made you feel so thirsty and ravenous afterwards.

"I wouldn't have dared but Kudos to you for having the lady balls." Fat Amy says raising a glass to you,"To Beca getting one over the great Aubrey Posen. Beca, Aubrey slayer... All Hail!" she says,

"BECA AUBREY SLAYER ALL HAIL" you all chorus chortling before drinking.

"That was a long time coming, Aubrey totally deserved it," Your laughing, shaking your head, basking in everybody congratulating you for that awesome stunt you pulled.

Everyone's laughter suddenly dies down. And a lot of things seem to happen all at once.

Stacie ducks behind a chair. You see Cynthia Rose's eyes bulging up "Oh Man." she says. Lily's mouthing something, pointing frantically,

"Ah shit...that's scary" Fat Amy says, before quickly downing her drink.

"What is?" She doesn't get to answer however as she's starts coughing violently-apparently choking. Cynthia Rose is grabbing Fat Amy from behind performing the Heimlich maneuver,

"EVERYONE USE YOUR WORDS!" you shout exasperated. What the hell is happening. Everyone's acting so weirdly. Even Chloe is frantically trying to get out of the pool, waving- trying to get your attention. She looks terrified she's started shouting something like "Beca Run Behind you!" and everything's in slow mo when you do turn around and see what everyone is looking at; Aubrey running, charging at you at full speed, like some raging bull eying you the matador with the red cloth. You swore you just blinked- before "OOf"-next thing you know, you are on your back with Aubrey's crazy angry face above you.

Shit's about to go down.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joan Jett-Bad Reputation  
> Pat Benatar-Hit Me With Your Best Shot  
> Haha Aw I love how some of you are really feeling the LukeXChloe friendship/pairing and are loving Mitchsen but sorry folks bechloe is endgame. But that doesn't mean I won't be filling the next chapters with plenty of interactions between these characters. It'll be fun to mix things up more drama and all.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey's had it with Beca, but Beca won't take everything lying down no will she. Girlfight, that's anything but girly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you guys enjoyed the previous chapter so much, so here's another one...took a while to get it to sound right-like how I envisioned it in my head but eventually it came together, or so I'd like to think...So hope you enjoy. Also am open to any bridal activities/ideas you come up with, feel free to suggest songs as well.

She actually tackled you, body slammed you, she's taking you down.

You're quite impressed. Or as impressed as you can be, having the breath knocked straight out of you. You're winded and maybe your brain's all foggy...and the pain hasn't quite registered but it's as if time has frozen... or is it moving really really slow that you can take note of the little details such as the feeling of being suspended midair, Aubrey's contorted face, and the pure shock on the rest of the girls to Chloe who looks so scared for your life before you finally feel the force then the hard ground beneath you.

You should've known that Miss I've-got-it-all-together-now Aubrey had all this pent-up rage, some aggression just waiting, needing to come out.

Yeah, that was partly your fault, you admit it...and you probably had it coming... But that doesn't mean you're just supposed to take Aubrey's aca-bitchiness lying down, does it?

It may not have been the smartest thing you've ever done; poking at an angry, extremely irritated bear. It was probably second in the long list you seemed to be creating.

You almost feel scared. Almost being the key word.

'Cos instead of feeling scared like a normal person would be right now, you're just thinking..."Bitch that effing hurt!" No-did you say thinking nah you actually said it aloud...

She slaps you hard across the face "So did that, what are you going to do about it aca-slut?!"

"It's on you aca-crazed ho!" you say pulling her hair.

And an all out aca-bitch fight ensues...with the two of you rolling around biting, clawing, trying in any way to harm-to outmaneuver the other.

You can vaguely hear the screaming of the other Bellas trying to get the two of you to stop, Cynthia Rose makes an attempt at getting in between but is socked in the face for her effort.

"Sorry Cynth" you say, once you manage to top Aubrey and pin her down momentarily, apologizing not sure anymore if it was for Aubrey or for you,

"Ouch stop biting me!" you scream when Aubrey's teeth once again catches your hand.

"Then get off of me you cow!"

"You didn't just call me a cow! TAKE IT BACK!" you shout shaking her

"WELL I DID AND I WON"T" she shrieks, as she succeeds in pushing you off and once again topping you.

* * *

After several scratches, bite marks and pulled hair later-Jesse and Luke step in, pulling the two of you apart-the only ones apparently who were brave enough to do so.

You're breathing heavily...feeling the aggression, the adrenaline slowly melt out of you. Okay that was intense...you take your eyes of Aubrey for a second- staring at your numerous scratches and bite marks "I look like I was thrown into a wild beasts den, oh yeah I was and I was joined there by my friend Aubrey the Psychopath- the said wild beast." you say, chuckling darkly.

"Beca." Chloe says her tone serious, admonishing, her eyes worried...but she looks unmistakably tense seeming almost angry with you. It wasn't your fault, blame your bitch of a best friend, Chloe.

Aubrey doesn't reply at first, absorbed in doing the same quick examination...looking too at her arms then gingerly feeling her face, then the top of her head...and she's patting at it... the expression on her face switching from confusion to outrage "You actually pulled a clump of my hair off...you little baboon!"

You glanced down at your hand and see a tiny clump of blonde hair. Holy Shit.

"I guess I don't know my own strength or maybe it's your hair, is it prone to breakage? Are you prone to hair fall at all ? What shampoo do you use." you question snidely, smirking at her.

"You know perfectly well it was your fault, why don't you stop acting like a ruffian and apologize like your parents thought you manners or anything at all for that matter.

"Don't talk about my parents." You say curtly, warning her not to go there.

"Well just your dad then...he must've failed or never even bothered to impart anything on you before he left." her face serious, sneering, knowing she's hurting you.

"Bree stop it" Chloe says softly, putting a hand on your shoulder-you didn't even realize you had started trembling with rage. You shake it off. You grit your teeth, you had warned her, she better be ready...because two can play that game.

"Yeah care to remind us again what a great and inspiring man your father was. How much he did he care about you that he allowed you to become this crazy, stress-vomiting, control-freak of a person. Oh, that's right! He's the reason you're like this- If at first you don't succeed pack your bags must've been what he imparted on _you_ \- He must be so proud of his perfect little gi- " Aubrey snaps, quickly breaking out of Luke's grasp, coming at you once again.

You're ready for her this time, elbowing Jesse in the stomach-freeing your arms and you side-step her using her propelled motion to push her to the ground. She lays there breathing hard for a mere moment- with you smiling smugly down at her- letting you think you had the upper hand, before she retaliates by sweeping your legs form underneath you.

long story short...Another fight ensues.

* * *

Please Stop! BECA, BREE STOP! you can vaguely hear people shouting.

The fight is broken up before the two of you really get into it-It takes most of the Trebles pitching in this time, to break the two of you apart.

"What the hell is wrong with the both of you?" Chloe screams, her face wet.

You're too ashamed to answer. Shit you made Chloe cry, maybe you should apologize to them and to Aubrey-

"She started it..." Aubrey says. Never mind.

"Woah best defense ever...I thought you said you were a lawyer."

"ENOUGH!" Chloe shouts which silences you both pretty quickly "Can you two just try to get along...I can't stand this." Chloe says walking away, leaving the both of you glaring at each other

"This is all your fault..." you can't believe you lost it in front of Chloe. And because of _her_.

"Chloe's walking away from the both of us, why don't you take responsibility for a change."

You struggle in vain against the restraining hands, which only results in them tightening their hold on you.

Okay they were really starting to hurt you, they should let go now.

"Boys thanks but we'll handle this from here..." Stacie says, noting your discomfort and perhaps sensing it would only serve to piss you off further if they kept at it.

But they still hesitate looking uneasily between the two of you.

"Bree do you promise not to jump Beca if we let you go? And vice versa with you B?" Cynthia Rose asks.

You nod just so you can be free of the human stray jacket. The Boys waste no time and quickly back away, both scared and relieved at being set free of the keeping the peace duties, more than glad to leave it up-hand over the reigns to the girls.

You're sending glares their way rubbing and stretching your arms trying to get back blood circulation.

"Chloe's right...we've had enough of all this bickering. You two need to call a truce..." Lily says quite loudly, placing a hand on your shoulder, making you jump.

"What-Oh um yeah, Come on It's my wedding dammit..." Fat Amy adds, when the rest of the Bellas look imploringly at her.

You cross your arms, and you see Aubrey do the same. She looks up and sees your similar stances and she quickly drops her arms and pointedly looks away.

The girls all expel similar sounds of exaperation.

"Fine, since you won't settle this like adults...we'll have to make you battle it out." Fat Amy goes on to say.

They broke the two of you up just to let you fight again? That's their great plan?

"Uh aren't we done with resorting to violence, we just got that part over and done with... hence our wild animal hair" you question,

"Sex-hair" Stacie corrects." Well mine-all the time, kinds how mine looks now..."

Really you give a pause, she found time to- with who...

You sometimes had to admire her skills...

Moving on...

"We won't even acknowledge that...Can we just get back to the task at hand?" Cynthia Rose says jumping, breaking from her daze- when her girlfriend nudges her.

"Battles, are you up for it?" Fat Amy questions,

"Name any game, any sport whatever it is I don't mind I can totally take out the hobbit." Aubrey says advancing upon you but Fat Amy holds up her hand keeping her from getting too close.

"Yeah again with the height jokes yes do go on...it's the only advantage you have over me..." you scoff.

"I'd say I have all kinds- plenty of an advantage over you ...Not only am I smarter, my IQ's 149- I'm also stronger... I am physically fit-I do Yoga, Pilates all the time...amongst other things-"

"What are you trying to do, win by talking me to death...oh yeah I can totally see that happening."

"It's not real fighting it'll be like a competition," Fat Amy says getting between the two of you trying to make things clear.

"You really are fond of competitions aren't you?" Cynthia Rose comments.

"What's a little competitiveness to heighten the drama and tension..." Fat Amy smiles largely, looking positively demented for a second there.

"Like we don't have enough of it already." Ashley mutters to Denise and Jessica.

"Anywho there's only one way that I can think of at the moment to settle this..." Fat Amy says slowly, drawing out the moment, heightening the anticipation, "You acabitches wanted to fight it out, and this is me letting you... with a much safer, controlled alternative. Girls-" Fat Amy says beckoning the two of you to lean closer with a crook of her finger,

"What ?" you ask whispering, intrigued. This could be some cool Tasmanian aboriginal test of strength thing...you don't know why you aren't feeling the least bit anxious. Instead, you're feeling oddly excited.

"Chicken fight!" She hollers, and you grab your ears in pain, Is she trying to make you deaf.

"Trebles! You heard the bride...let's have a 3 round chicken fight..." Stacie says calling out to the boys who weirdly comply, jumping in the pool, happily granting Stacie's every whim.

"I'd love for you guys excluding Benji of course to line up-Beca, Aubrey choose your man and mount him-I mean climb his shoulders whatever." Fat Amy says as she instructs the boys.

You look at Jesse who shakes his head, you ignore this action and tap him "I'm sorry I don't feel comfortable with anyone else..."

"Your overuse of 'sorry' is making the word loose it meaning..."

Aubrey to your surprise chooses Luke. He smiles widely and takes Aubrey's hands and lets her settle on his shoulders...

You notice Jesse looking distrustfully at him. See that guy made everyone feel jealous and insecure around their girls. He was like the male counterpart of Stacie.

"Don't be jealous right now...all we have to do is knock Aubrey and her smug face off...what ever happened to lesbros before hoes..."

"It no longer applies when said les, that's you, maxes out the bros favors...ie getting the dude to play her boyfriend and causing him to lie to his potential girlfriend " he says sarcastically,

"C'mon Jess..." you plead, and he rolls his eyes before he allows you to clamber over his shoulders.

"You won't have to do anything..." you assure him,

"Yeah i'll just let her push you off..." He says meanly, grunting as you're both adjusting in order for you to sit snugly, more comfortably on his shoulders.

"Thanks." you snap, somewhat offended.

"Your welcome..." he continues in the same tone but it quickly softens when you approach Luke and Aubrey who're standing menacingly, awaiting the two of you "try to stay on, be careful Beca...Aubrey really means business."

Fat Amy looks between the two of you before she yells

"Fight!"

You waste no time the two of you grapple, okay she did have an advantage here...her long arms are reaching you easily, moving forcefully and before you know it she gives a really strong push to your chest, and you start to fall backwards but Jesse who manages to remain standing, catches you keeping you steady and you breathe a sigh of relief, but in the next second he too falls, bringing you down with him.

You rise quickly coughing, "What happened?"

"She kicked me!" Jesse says looking surprised, rubbing his face, not quite believing it had happened.

You inspect if there were any cuts, before shouting "Hey No fair, Foul! Red Card or whatever!" to the onlookers, Fat Amy shrugs her shoulders looking sorry...

"Sorry Beca, There really aren't any rules besides just knockin' the person off for a point...One point Aubrey, Luke. Just try to get back at her Becs."

"What the Fu-what kind of a-She hurt him...what's the point then..." you shout, incredulous and appalled.

Where's the justice in this game without rules. Exactly, there was none, Fat Amy was right... you just had to get back at her.

"Why don't we just get back to the game, unless you want to concede..." Aubrey says pompously. You narrow your eyes, but you smirk.

"Never! C'mon Jess, let's get back at the horse, I mean the whore. Let's just get back on the horse I meant" you say smiling cheerily once again as you settle atop of Jesse.

This time around you can sense, see Aubrey's attacks coming from a mile away, and when she tries to push you- you use the same maneuver as when you tripped her over a while ago but this time you pull her forward and *splash* she falls face first into the water.

You snicker, when Aubrey emerges and your eyebrows rise higher in amusement when she all but jumps on Luke trying to get back on his shoulders...he stumbles momentarily, before righting himself. He looks too scared to say anything. Actually both boys are silent, perhaps not wanting to get caught in the middle of it, allowing the two of you to battle it out, to do most of the work.

"One point for Jeca! Becasee, whatever you're called...making it a tie as you all know, but I am still required to announce for the benefit of anyone who hasn't been paying attention that the next point will determine who wins!" Fat Amy calls out from where she's been standing on the side of the pool.

"You're going to regret ever making a fool out of me." Aubrey says threateningly, the vein near her forehead's jumping

"B-ring it Beyotch!" you say, raising your fists.

And the two of you resume where you left off, getting into it more- if that was even possible.

You feel like you're on an equal footing this time, you know Aubrey's moves now, she's knows your tricks and neither of you are willing to let the other win. The two struggle for what seems like hours but in reality it must've been only several minutes, moving 'round and 'round the pool...sometimes slipping, occasionally getting wet, and slowly but surely getting tired... waiting, wishing for the other to just fall over.

One thing's for sure, you know it won't be you.

"How does this resolve anything? You're still making them fight!" You quickly turn your head and see that Chloe's back, but only to berate the Bella's,

You should've known Aubrey would take advantage of your momentary distraction- she pushes you so very hard, you feel Jesse trying to hold you up, but he slips and you fall...you hear a thud, feel pain, -and before you know it, you black out.

* * *

Turns out you hit your head on the side of the pool...

Turns out hitting the side of the pool with your head reaallly hurts,

so much that you were knocked unconscious,

so much that you actually have a concussion.

That much you gather from the muted echoing warbled voices all around you, making you feel like you're still stuck underwater.

You're not sure how often or for how long your drifting in and out of consciousness lasts-maybe you just closed your eyes for a second, maybe several hours but it seemed every time you came to, there's a different number of Bella's in the room-you're not sure where you are, oh how long you've been here, the place doesn't look familiar.

You probably should stop thinking too much it only makes your headache worse. You groan aloud,

"Hey she's coming to, she's awake."

"B!"

"Beca, are you okay?" Aubrey's voice comes,

"Of course she's not okay!" People shout, you groan once again,

"Becs...say something, anything please..." Chloe pleads, sniffling and you wince at hearing her in pain.

"Beca Mitchell, you need to open your eyes and say something okay, you have to..." Aubrey says but she no longer sounds imperious, it almost sounds like she's begging, like she'd been crying.

"btch yogevmthwcocusion..." you mumble, and they all gasp in excitement.

"What...wait girls shut up, she said something what did you say Beca?" Aubrey asks.

"bitch, you gave me the concussion...why are you the one asking me to do something." you get out a little louder,

Your eyes slowly open, you're blinking willing your eyes to adjust to the light...And they all cheer, once you focus on them. The noise it's deafening, making your head throb, making you close your eyes to block it off.

"Guys I think there's too much people in here, can we limit it to just three people for now..." Jesse says, and you hear most of the people go, promising to return soon, wishing you well... leaving you with Jesse and Chloe.

You open your eyes once the headache subsides, and you're surprised to see who the third person is-Aubrey looking, dare you say it, apologetic, all repentant and shamefaced. And truthfully, you just don't buy it.

This scarily feels like the moment just before the lead gets attacked by the psycho killer (who had succeeded in fooling everyone except the lead into thinking that he/she were perfectly normal. That they were safe.) waiting for the right moment to strike... when she got you all alone.

"What are you doing here? I want her out of the room-nurse, nurse..." you shout almost hysterically.

"Beca this isn't a real hospital, we're at Fat Amy's First Aid area. You can't really kick her out... and as much as I know you need the rest... I think you need to hear what she has to say first." Chloe says patting your hand, kissing your cheek gingerly before she gets up to leave.

"We'll give you guys your privacy." Jesse says leaning forward to do the same, and you're trying to get them both to stay...trying to communicate, pleading with your eyes.

But if they see something they disregard it, Chloe's smiling at you encouragingly.

Okay what had possibly gone on when you were out of it that they think you're safe with Aubrey Posen of all people. What had she done or said to convince them.

Okay you admit, Aubrey looked and sounded mightily convincing, seconds pass hearing her continue to sob into her hands, seeing her shoulders shaking. You immediately feel bad thinking the worse of her. Of course Aubrey had feelings, and could experience emotions other than anger.

"Hey Aubrey..." you begin to say, willing to giver her a second chance, willing to hear her out.

"Aubrey..." you prod,

She looks up from her hands, and you are filled with cold dread seeing that there weren't any tears..."Are they gone?" she says smiling,

"What do you want?" you ask cautiously, looking around for anything to fight her off with.

"I meant what I said I came to say sorry." she says gravely, her eyes flash with something, you don't what it is and it's scaring you.

"Yeah I can totally feel the remorse..." and she rolls her eyes before laughing, shit you were right, Aubrey's going to kill you and make it look like an accident. All you can do now is keep her talking, keep her distracted and hopefully the others will be back soon to check on you.

"Okay I admit-I was being a total..." she trails off looking for an apt enough word, you can think of millions to describe her-

"crazed, violent witch?" you supply, those being the less colorful terms you thought of.

"Yes, I let my anger, my emotion take over me and I've apologized but Beca you are just so irritating-you've made everything so much harder on yourself..."

You frown in confusion, temporarily forgetting that you were scared. What does she mean?

"Wow that's your great apology, what where they thinking letting you in here-you're making my head ache worse-r"

"No such thing, as worser, say much worse-anyway I'm trying to tell you that i know, about the real-score between you and Jesse."

You feel your heart thud with dread for a much different reason, but you try to laugh it off, "You sure it wasn't you who smacked her head on the side of the pool? You are making zero-sense."

"Don't play dumb-Jesse told me everything. And you better start explaining unless you want Chloe to know everything as well."

Your face betrays alarm before the anger settles in at being threatened,

"You aren't going to tell Chloe a god damn thing about me and Jesse not really being together," you warn, daring to raise your voice.

Her smile grows even wider, you don't know what's going on in her mind...but No way will you let her play you.

"You heard me Aubrey...It's my secret to tell. I'll be the one to tell Chloe the truth."

She's still observing you looking mightily smug, "Can you stop looking at me like that!" you finally shout, and you close your eyes at the pain reverbrating through your head.

"Beca, relax...don't strain yourself." she says looking maddeningly concerned. This girl really was crazy. "You're making me all stressed out...you're asking me to explain things but I think you should be the one explaining what you're looking so smug about." you say gritting your teeth.

"Sorry what do you promise to tell Chloe the next chance you get?"

"The truth, that I love her...wait what?" This conversation was going absolutely nowhere...but Aubrey's face still has that eat-shitting grin, like she knows exactly what's she's doing to you and suddenly like a light switch being turned on in your head, you do too.

Wait was she...did she just..lawyer you, that conniving manipulative little-you sputter outraged, trying to get your words out unsuccessfully, sounding a lot like you've short-circuited. That's exactly how you feel, you're brain feels fried. What the eff Aubrey, taking advantage of your already banged up brain.

"So I was right-" she says happily,

"How, Why..." you say feebly

"Don't blame me, you gave yourself away...but seriously Jesse never told me anything, none of you did... but as I started to get over my initial hurt, and annoyance the more I started noticing things as I watched the two of you...you guys obviously aren't a real couple, you act more like squabbling siblings...now thinking about it. I had an inkling, but it only got proved today..."

"What..."

"Anywho I get the reason as to why you lied, with Luke coming in...everything's making sense all of a sudden...Why'd it take me so long to figure it out-Oh, yeah I was blinded by my jealousy." Aubrey's having a conversation with herself at this point, and you close your eyes willing everything away hoping to wake up from this dream.

"Beca...you said you'd be the one to tell Chloe the truth if you had the chance..." Aubrey whispers, before taking your hand meaning to comfort you but it only makes you feel worse.

"Yeah, I did. I'll tell Chloe, alright" You say rather forcefully, realizing that this conversation was really happening, that Aubrey wouldn't just go away, that this _was_ reality, not a dream you could escape from. You still try to block her out, screwing your eyes up.

Aubrey suddenly starts humming then singing the intro to an Abba song

"Take a chance, take a chance take a chance, " she starts quickly, before you hear footsteps of her leaving...okay that was majorly queerballs, no Aubrey's just plain insane...you always suspected it but she just proved you right.

What was she doing singing Take A Chance on Me.

"You wanted to tell me something Beca?" You jump and your eyes fly open almost against your will, hoping to disprove what your brain is telling you... that it isn't Chloe Beale, sitting where Aubrey was just a few seconds ago.

You gulp, as you come face to face with the person you're both wanting and dreading to see right now. You take a deep breath upon meeting her curious probing eyes.

"Chloe..."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me please if this is in anyway confusing to anyone of you..I'd be happy to explain. I feel like I might've messed something up, hopefully not...fingers crossed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the big reveal. Lesbihonest Becs.
> 
>  
> 
> Aka Beca really needs to get over herself and tell Chloe the truth, the more she doesn't the more she gets tangled up in her web of lies.

* * *

You know how it feels to be with the person you love, but not actually be _with_ them...

That you're so close, but there's this little boundary in the way. Well for you it's actually this _huge_ boundary...No, several boundaries of things in your way...Once upon a time it was just your little insecurities, your fear of rejection, but now... there's Jesse, there's Luke and on top of it all there's also- an _Aubrey_.

You guess you have to explain that part, how it got even more complicated.

Well, it all came back to that night two days ago... after your great big accident...

* * *

"You wanted to tell me something Beca?" Chloe asks, and as always...one look into those eyes (all warm and patient, so darn loving and concerned) could turn you into such a blundering mess...which was not helping or any way ideal in the given situation.

"About that...what I mean-meant to say... what I'm trying to say exactly is that...well the thing is..." you ramble, _why was it so hard to say when you were wide awake._ She smiles encouragingly,

"Hey c'mon...It's me...that redhead who used to break down all your walls...I still can- you better tell me now, I'll find out sooner or later." she says in her teasing little tone, such a contrast to it being such a big, monumental situation. She has no idea what you're about to say, and that alone-the idea that everything could change in the next few seconds... nudges you closer and closer to breaking out into full-freak out mode.

"It'll sound stupid...no it really sucks it's...messed up-arg- I dunno what's wrong with me!" you say, your voice raised-a single burst of frustration.

You weren't even sure if the change would favor you, or if it'd send Chloe screaming running away..

And then an even scarier thought; that everything, all of this had all been in your head-that they were just that dreams...dreams that you'd misinterpreted, over dramatized that were really simple moments between friends.

_Oh God Stop._

_Just stop psyching yourself out..._

"Hey," she says her expression turning serious, sympathetic to your plight-whatever it was- ready to be supportive, and accepting. Her hands frame your face, cupping your cheeks, forcing you to to calm down to meet her eyes, to face them-her dead-on.

"You can tell me _anything_. I won't think any less of you..." she says slow and deliberate... and you think that's what does it...also maybe her eyes promising so much; acceptance, a sense of calm- a safe haven-it's what makes you feel like taking the leap, like being totally honest.

"I'm not in love with Jesse..." you get out quickly before you can think to hold it back any longer.

Your heart's beating so hard...the heart monitor's giving you away...

"Oh...that's...that's huge." she comments lightly, you wait a beat of a second and then... _nothing_...

She does absolutely nothing after... There was such a build-up to this moment..and then this happens, _this_ being...nothing at all.

You don't know what you're expecting; your eyebrows come together, wasn't she supposed to be happy, shouldn't she be jumping up exclaiming, professing her undying love for you...or perhaps, just jumping _you_ by now?

"Did you...um..come to this conclusion just during the trip or..." she then asks.

Okay maybe you had to like fight for it or something-Maybe she was making you work for it...maybe she needed more. More information, or some encouragement perhaps?

You close your eyes...and brace yourself-you've said part of it, might us well follow-through.

"No I've...there's someone else alright...the trip well it's made me...remember, it brought back...ya'know some deep-seated feelings that I've been squashing down all this time," you can feel your mouth moving, and yet you're feeling like you have no control over what you're saying-like you're separate from the moment and what's happening "And it's come back full force since-since I first saw this girl again...it's been maddening, and just so crazy but she makes me so crazy sometimes you know...she gets me all riled up but in a good way...if you get what I'm saying?"

Still you can't say it-her, Chloe's name- outright, the nerves are getting to you once again.

She stops and the air stands still-as you see the weight of the words registering, before she slowly turns to you, reading your face..."So...you like girls? You're bi?"

You nod emphatically, "Yes..."

And she smiles wide, and you almost faint in relief, _Okay this is good, she's smiling...so it's good right?_

"So is there anyone in particular who you like-who you liked," she asks, then growing excited... "wait she's here right now?"

"Uh yeah..." you get out, _It's you_ , you think, seriously why is Chloe acting all oblivious. For each second that passes you keep expecting Chloe to come out and say she was just playing around, for her to just do _something_. You can feel your heart dropping, it being squeezed a little (feeling more than a little put out) because your speech hadn't evoked any of the good reactions you had been expecting.

"Lemme guess who...you don't have to say anything just like nod or...Hmm Lily..."

"Ashley"

"Denise, Jessica..." you shake your head for every guess she makes, (each more forceful and impatient than the last)

"Stacie, No? I was so sure..." she says, snapping her fingers "-not Cynthia or Amy...so that only leaves..." you hold your breath,

"Aubrey, you like _Aubrey!?_ "

It takes several seconds for you to pick your mouth off of the floor...

_what the actual..._

"Oh my god! It totally makes sense, all this time... all the teasing, all that underlying sexual tension...And Aubrey was jealous of Jesse and you...and that's why she took it out on you...No wonder you guys couldn't keep your hands of each other...wow that's kinda crazy hot..."

Your eyes are totally bulging out of your head by now,

"No, no you've got it all wrong..." you spit out, but Chloe seems to have made up her mind to not listen to you any longer.

"It's okay...I totally see why you would dig Aubrey...complete opposites the pair of you..."

"Chloe-no _shut up_ please, and listen to what you're saying me and Aubrey... _Aubrey_ -that alone should make you pause and start laughing. We hate each other..." you stress, Chloe smiles knowingly at you and it's so freaking frustrating...

"You're passionate about each other, the same passion that flows through hating one another can so easily be transferred into loving one another...also wow! think of how exciting your sex life will be...all those fights and ... the make-up sex after...hmm" Her voice turns husky, she bites her lip, a low humming sound escapes from the back of her throat as she ponders away...she is _so sexy._ Argh wait. You have to fix this-concentrate Mitchell, get your head in the game. You inwardly give yourself a strong shake, a mental slap to concentrate.

"Okay, please stop..." She grins saucily. Seriously stop being so hot, I may just jump you right now. You edit yourself and instead say, "You're not only scaring me you're slowly scarring me for life..." She then finally takes a second to take in your outward expression-your face all frozen, your eyes wide and confused...your mouth twisted up in disgust...but then ignores it and prattles on unaffectedly.

"C'mon don't tell me you've never thought about Aubrey in that way before...I mean look at her she's statuesque and really fit, plus she's good in the sack I would know...Hey, if you're up for it...I could totally convince her to have a three-some? Would you be up for it...a little triple treble..."

_You think your brain sorta fried after, information overload...so much happening...I mean like...Whut?_

"You would know-you've... with... Aubrey...threesome, wait with who do you mean?" you get out as best you can.

"Me silly..." she says smirking at you, stepping impossibly close..."It's way too hot picturing the both of you...I want in on that." You're not sure if you know where this is going, if you actually liked it or not...but she's trailing her hand lower before quickly and unabashedly cupping your breast..."Uh..." you half gasp half moan,

"Don't you want that Babe...Me and You. You and me. Right here right now." You nod, slowly biting your lip as she continues her ministrations her movements her touches becoming firmer rougher, her lips skate across your cheek before she moves to your neck as she continues whispering, trailing her words wrapped up in little kisses "You're so hot. I've wanted you-and this for a while now." spreading the tingles up and down your skin... then her hot breath's by your ear," But I can't be selfish now can I...You know what would make this even hotter..." she pulls away slightly, but her face is till close enough you gasp when her dark eyes meet yours, your heart's at a standstill without you meaning it to-urgently awaiting and willing to agree with just about anything she would do or say right now. "You're forgetting that there are three of us hot girls, you've got two to play with-unless I could give you guys some alone time first, if that's what you'd like?"

You don't get to respond before the most horrifying thing happens; Chloe morphs into Aubrey and for pete's sake...you're suddenly naked now and so is she...you scramble, trying in vain to shield your body from your ex-Bella Captain's boldly appraising eyes.

"C'mon Beca let's work out this unresolved tension between us...I think I have the best way to do that..." she purrs and before you know it she pushes you so that you're on your back and she's pinning you with superhuman strength and Aubrey's leaning down, disappearing between your legs...and you realize you can't move can't even lift your hands or move your legs...all you can do is scream...

"Arggghhhh!I don't want Aubrey!"

* * *

_"Arggghhhh! I don't want Aubrey!"_ the scream's not as loud-and reverberating as in the dream but still it's loud enough to jolt everyone in the room...

"Jeez fine I'll come back to check on you guys later." Aubrey says but you see the unmistakable smirk on her face.

It's freaky what had just happened...What was going on, was that-a dream...but you had no warning this time. It was such a seamless transition-but it's like things had been reset;you remember, Aubrey had just left and now apparently she had just come back...what had happened in between when you thought you had been conscious. Your eyes track the room quickly-Chloe's back(herself again) and Aubrey is now by the doorway (fully clothed thank goodness).

You're still having a mini panic attack but it's all internal...Oh god...at this rate, with all the stress and damage both physical and emotional and mental that the on going events inflicted it would book you a permanent stay at this area of Fat Amy's place during the entirety of the trip.

"Hey Beca, what's wrong-are you feeling alright?" Chloe says picking up on your state of distress.

You nod then shrug in a 'why wouldn't I be okay' manner.

"It's just that your face won't quite move past looking severely traumatized." Aubrey comments.

You shrug again. You can't quite look them in the eye.

You feel the two of them continue to stare at you as the silence stretches on-you take a peek Chloe's gaze becoming slightly more intensely worried...while Aubrey's was more intensely curious.

How do you explain away a situation when you yourself weren't sure what exactly had transpired,

"Sorry 'bout that um-Aubrey could you _please_ just...give us some more time alone? I wasn't uh-we weren't quite done talking and all that jazz." you find yourself saying, better get rid of Aubrey first...you had to ask Chloe alone...

Your request seems to clears things up for Aubrey,"No prob, I totally understand." she says in reply, sending a conspiratorial wink your way.

"What was that about?"Chloe asks smiling slightly, looking amused, her eyes darting between yours and the spot where Aubrey had been.

"Yeah her apology really bought me over..." you say,

"That's good. So I can look forward to some actual peace and quiet during the rest of the trip." she teases,

"You bet." you say quickly, wanting to skip the niceties, keen to sticking on the subject, trying a smile before you decide to ask Chloe...

"Wait, a minute... what happened? It's really weird...I thought we were talking...weren't we just talking- and then next thing I know... I'm waking up-screaming..." Chloe's bright eyes dim a bit-she looks scared... nervous somehow.

"Well, honestly I don't know what happened. I asked you what you wanted to tell me and you-ah sort of passed out for a moment there-" you hear the worry in her voice now. Was it weird to feel both cold and warm inside because of it?

"How long was I out?"

Okay you had been wishing for a way out but to start passing out and going into dreamland at random times without you knowing or having control over it was-well, it was kinda freaky. This thing was really starting to mess with you...how you could barely tell when you were dreaming or awake anymore.

"Almost half an hour...but how's your head now? You feeling lightheaded?" her tone turns anxious.

"I just-it's fine, I'm fine- I'm better, just glad that you're still here."

"Where else would I be?" she says the smile back in her face again, but then a shadow of doubt replaces it, "Unless you want me to call in Jesse..." she trails off, and you still yourself from saying an outright NO "He came by a while ago but I uh-asked him if it was okay-that _I_ wanted to stay here with you. He said it was...but if you want him I'll go-"

"No!" you wince at how loud the 'No' finally sounded coming out, how obvious you were being "-that's alright. I see him all the time." you say far more calm, trying to make everything seem funnier, lighter.

Chloe does give a little laugh, her eyes regaining that little twinkle but she still something in her face, her expression pushes you to ask. "So I'm curious...Did I-do anything or say anything or just make weird noises when I was you know... passed out?"

Chloe face is all red for some reason, O _h god you hope you didn't do or say anything embarrassing._

"Well your eyes where twitching behind your lids, and your breaths were rather uneven. You were groaning a bit and making little noises..." It's your turn to turn red-faced now. "-until you started shouting" she finishes, sounding hesitant, she looks away, but then she clears her throat "Why-where you having a bad dream, was the Big Bad Aubrey trying to eat you up?"

You shudder, or more like cringe violently with a dream like that who could blame you..You thought seeing Jesse in these dreams of yours was bad, but Aubrey...

_Why god-WHY?_

"I wonder what it means...do you recall the other details in the dream..."

"Uh nothing big...just the usual...I was trying to have a heart to heart talk with someone and then Aubrey showed up to ruin the day..." you say dryly, and Chloe laughs, rolling her eyes lightly in response.

"But you guys are fine now right?" she says after she recovers. You're hesitant to answer. Yeah... for the time being.

That would only last until Aubrey found out that you had managed to-no matter how unintentionally- bowed out of telling Chloe yet again...

You remember Aubrey's threat, how serious she'd sounded. You know her, she wouldn't let you get away with it...she would tell Chloe the moment she realized you hadn't.

Quick you had to tell her now! You still had a couple of minutes alone with Chloe it's not like anyone else would pop up to spoil what you had to say before Aubrey said it first...

"Chloe about that, what I wanted to say is that..."

"Beca, hey...here I brought you something to eat." Fat Amy says popping up at exactly the wrong time proving you wrong...followed by Stacie and Cynthia Rose."Also..if you guys don't mind I want to discuss my ideas for my Bridal Shower...and oh yeah..more importantly who the maid of honor is gonna be..."

"So we did a vote out there-and we all ended up with the same name." Stacie continues for her.

"Who?" "Jinx!""You owe me a soda..."Chloe and you chorus, the two of you exchange bright smiles, you laugh as she sticks out her tongue but then throws in a little wink to soften it.

"You guys about done?" Fat Amy questions brusquely suddenly all business. You clear your throat and you both straighten up, pull away not realizing your heads had gravitated closer and closer to each others. Chloe takes your hand and begins to play with it-slowly tracing patterns into your palm.

You're trying to ignore the tickly swooping feeling traveling all thru ought your body starting from your palm and ending somewhere in your stomach "Wait-It's final?" You ask once you get a hold of yourself.

"Well you being the last two members of the council can still cast your votes to be fair-but It won't make a dent just in case your answers differ from ours." Cynthia Rose answers calmly.

"Yeah the tribe has spoken, this lucky girl is the one offered up to be my bitch." Fat Amy says, before launching into full Bridezilla mode keen in informing everyone who was out of the loop, ie you and Chloe, of the plans...

"So I guess it'll have to wait for another day huh?" Chloe whispers under her breath, squeezing your hand one more time before she lets go. And you sigh and lay back down, tiredly passing your hand over your face.

_When were you ever going to catch a break._

* * *

Another day turned into several more...

You're sitting there amidst all the wrapping paper; it was finally Fat Amy's bridal shower. It seemed like it had taken so long to get to this point what with all the-fights, mock fights, concussions going round on the first two days.

Thankfully everyone finally got it all together and decided to axe the whole Maid of Honor competition(since the whole You VS Aubrey had ended so bad) and well everyone just decided to vote on it-everyone said they voted on it but in reality, It was actually a planned, rigged decision.

The results- It was a landslide, the much-coveted role was given to Aubrey as her punishment... _hardy har har_ -which she surprisingly accepted with grace...Well you're sure she does feel bad, and is repentant and all that but you think Fat Amy whispering "I never knew Punishment would entail you having your own personal maids at your beck and call ready to give a complete spa experience..." helped a bit-you mean a lot.

Aubrey had yet to move out though...Amy insisted that she needed a couple of days before the room (which she had especially fixed to cater to Aubrey's needs/preferences alone) would be ready. An event that you couldn't help looking forward to; that can't come soon enough.

"I don't know if I should present my present next...Someone from the family should go first..." Aubrey offers, her voice just loud enough to pierce through your inner musings but soon after fades back as background noise but Fat Amy's other bridesmaids and female relatives refuse lightheartedly, urging you girls first.

Where were you, Ah yes. You and Chloe in one room, without any third parties... _that_ was your kind of room. You'd even joined her's and Aubrey's beds in preparation and when the time came you'd be sleeping and doing all the activities together side by side, back to back... her on top or you-you weren't picky.

You really should get your mind out of the gutter-your dirty, dirty mind out of that bed away from that room and away from Chloe. But seriously you can't seem to stop your mind from going there no matter how hard you tried. You were practically counting down the milliseconds till that happened. You don't really know what would happen-could happen. You want something to happen of course, but the situation you were in wouldn't allow it. And yet there was no escaping it-the situation as it would just be you and her alone, you would have to practice even more restraint-if that were possible- with Chloe. The dreams weren't helping at all leaving you all worked up. You're wound up so tight you are wondering how you don't just spontaneously combust at any given moment with every excessive contact there was between you and Chloe. And of course there were many. Chloe seemed set to kill you-if you could die from an overdose of Chloe Beale physical affection.

For the last two days Chloe has been upping the ante-was it possible to become even more affectionate over time...with Chloe, yes. Her hands would linger, they seemed to grow just a bit bolder. She was wholly comfortable her touches dished out with very little hesitation- but her touches were mere standard Chloe Beale playful touches;her hand would pinch your ass, alternating with the standard playful tap...she'd venture into your personal space-get up close to you but she'd never go further. She never took it to another level-what were you expecting for her to do, start full on groping you?

_Yes_ , it'd make everything easy for you you can't help thinking, If she did there wouldn't have to be all those awkward explanations...she would just know by how you'd respond to her ministrations, and how she'll respond to yours, simple, natural, physical actions speaking louder than words like in you dreams... of course you'd reveal how you really felt afterwards and maybe all the rest of it, the lies, the people you dragged into it to finally get to that place... wouldn't matter.

"Okay from the Bridesmaids then...the Bella girls who wants to go first." Aubrey's suddenly right there standing, towering over you. You tune back guiltily, trying to look as though you had an idea what was going on, Aubrey's frowning but she's not angry, she's not even looking at you in fact, she's fixated on something else her own gigantic wrapped box. Okay presents it was time to pick one or present one for Amy to open. You shake you head so it feels like you're coming to-lost in your fantasies for a moment there...oh presents um no... you didn't really feel like presenting yours either...a mix...you had compiled both Benji's and Amy's voices singing each others favorite songs into one amazing mash-up if you say so yourself that you'd only just finished the night before...(it hadn't counted as work, you thoroughly enjoyed doing it)

"Beca?"

"I think the maid of honor should go first..." you quickly say, turns out it was the right thing to say as she beams brightly. "Aw, you think? I was going to but I wasn't sure..." You open your mouth to take it back and offer someone else as an alternative but then Aubrey's speaking over you, "I couldn't..." she says,

"No, I insist-" you say politely,

"Fine then." she grumbles but smiles. Huh You knew she wanted to be next...you happen to know Aubrey got Fat Amy something amazing-and she'd been jumping for Fat Amy to see it first. See you're already so in tune-so used to her whole reverse-psychology thing and this time you just let her. It wasn't such a big deal.

These past few days in general you were or had been sorta kinda sucking up and playing nice with Aubrey...not that you had anything to be worried about...but it couldn't hurt trying to stay in her good graces for as long as you can...though it was a just in case thing,

Because the situation-it was borderline shit-potentialy-hitting-the-fan-ness. Everything's had this underlying feeling, this crackle an undercurrent of change-a huge change making things seem a little more chaotic-something you weren't even sure was possible, but it was, except everything's a little more under wraps...you were pretty much the only one who was aware of the "real" situation, so you were left shouldering the stress of everything...

Chloe's smiling at the two of you, happy that you two had made up, but she doesn't know why Aubrey had taken to watching the two of you more closely, popping up unexpectedly in the middle of your little moments while Jesse as well as the other people in the house are completely out of the loop. You're fairly confident that Aubrey still hadn't figured out that you hadn't spilled your heart out to Chloe yet she had thankfully been more than a little distracted with the whole Maid of Honor tasks just enough to not notice that one particular detail.

Which was good as she had other more important, vital details she had to facilitate, that she had to keep in mind. And so far she was doing a great job...this was truly a work of art...Aubrey had facilitated all of this in mere hours...

Everyone had pitched in with the whole preparation of course, helped when they could but it was Bree who had worked her magic to be able to pull of a complete Memoir of a Geisha themed Bridal shower-don't ask...it turns out Fat Amy really loved that movie.

So all the family members and guests were around the pool-now transformed, with lanterns, blossoms, floating candles galore dressed in traditional Kimonos. (There had been a Geisha Makeover at the start of the day where everyone made their own costumes from any kind of fabric that they had on them or from around the house.)

* * *

_Earlier in the day..._

You were in this flowery silk robe(Chloe's obviously-she had one to spare. You don't do flowers...or anything really really pink or remotely girly...you were happy to stick with your go-to plaid shirts in different shades of blue) with a red sash tied around your waist, wearing socks with slippers. Chloe had even done your make-up; the white, white palette, the little red lips and the dark mascara and the darkened brows. Your hair was in a loose bun-with chopsticks pushed through it-and several little beads hanging here and there.

You had taken one look at the mirror and snorted, "I look like...I don't even wanna say what I look like-" Words like clown, weirdo, someone really stupid-looking are the tamest of the tamest words that come to mind.

"Hey, you're insulting my work..."

"I am not." you look to Chloe whose eyebrows are raised. "I- am insulting...the face underneath it, the one that even with your skills couldn't carry something like this off..."

You were of course, comparing yourself to Chloe who still managed to look cute...like you'd expect anything less. Definitely the first and the hottest red-head geisha.

"Well I happen to think you make a real charming geisha-I'd totally want you to pour tea for me and entertain me..."

"Yeah...I'm sure this whole event will be filled with a lot of entertaining moments..." you drawl, but Chloe doesn't let your tone put a damper on her excitement, she actually beams at you...

"That's the spirit! I heard there'll be fan design content and Traditional Japanese dances that we'll get to learn together...also we have those fat sumo suits to play with. It's gonna be aca-awesome."

She starts laughing at the expression on your face, the are-you-freaking-serious face you used often, "and" she continues, "there's like some spoken Haiku performance thing that we all have to do-"

"What we'll like recite famous Haiku's or something?"

"No, come up with our own, it's the A.A's (Amy and Aubrey's) orders...and you don't wanna know what they threatened to do if anyone dared to not comply"

Oh god you're already starting to dislike the idea of the two of them being extra demanding and forceful...together. Two days and you're regretting the whole pair-up already. It's the worst combination, Fat Amy with her being the bride, and crazy requests and with Aubrey to completely back her up.

"aca-fucking-kill-me."

"Aw-don't hate, It'll be fun promise." Chloe rushes to you and actually pinches your cheeks before she starts leaning in ever so slowly-your heart's working itself up, speeding up in contrast... before she's laying one on you... a simple kiss to your nose.

It takes everything within you not to sigh-to make any sound of disappointment-, because she'd been doing this a lot-kissing you every which where...whenever she felt like it, and her eyes have to do that thing locking in on yours so intensely, leaving you breathless but then she goes and kisses you on your cheek, or your forehead and this time your nose...and each time never fails to turn you to an almost frustrated mess...what's stopping her (uh I don't know perhaps your having a boyfriend) you aren't complaining but really, she seemed to be missing the part you wanted to be kissed on the most...well, on your face at least.

"Okay-we are both ready... are you ready to go to Japan?" she says once she pulls back beaming sweetly at you.

You just nod, still feeling a little dazed, (your heart has yet to slow down) taking her hand as she pulls you to follow her to where all the rest of the girls are-Fat Amy's room...standing around putting the last touches on Cynthia Rose.

When they're done the rest of the girls file out.

"Kill me." Cynthia Rose mutters, and you smile at her echoing what you had said earlier...the two of you meet eyes in the mirror,

"Tell me. How bad is it? she asks,

Well the whole Geisha thing wasn't for everyone...you think the ones who could pull it off would either have to be really gorgeous or just really comfortable in their own skin. Stacie was one you don't know how she did it but she managed to make a very well put together-flattering- revealing geisha outfit, you concede she looked pretty darn hot...Aubrey's was so typically her, neat and anal-retentive...intricate trying to be as accurate as possible, and Chloe was you know, Chloe 'nuff said.

The rest of you however...

You're looking at yourself the mirror-you look all kinds of wrong, it just didn't work somehow. You feel stupid-no amount of 'self-image-mirror talking' was going to make you look good. Looking around at everyone else you could almost see the resemblance, like crosses Of Yao, Ling and Chien Po from Mulan when they dressed up as women...Concubines.-Ugly concubines.

"it's okay, you look fine." is what you say however,

"Are you kidding me Mitchell, seriously not one of us looks normal..." and you nod slowly in agreement, conceding.

"You guys look great...this is gonna be so awesome!" Chloe says as she passes, stopping to squeeze your hips on the way out of the room.

"Well neither of us is happy with it... but it's what Amy wants and c'mon let's just enjoy it for her sake." you say, it's a half-sigh escaping your lips.

"Fat Amy's sake-not someone else's?" Cynthia says under her breath so only the two of you can hear, you don't immediately withhold your bodies reaction (tensing), she's smirking when you immediately look to the door where Chloe had exited. You loosen, smile a little and then try to play it off like you didn't understand what she was getting at.

"Like who Jesse?" you ask putting on your best neutral face. She laughs lowly,

"You expect me to buy the whole Beca's straight thing...and with Swanson of all people. Naw Mitchell, you've never been a gold star lesbian but you were always meant to be gay for Chloe...You still are, aren't you?"

You try to suppress the blush, but it can't be helped.

"Red suits you-and I'm not just talking about the color on your face..."

"Shut up!" you hiss.

"C'mon dude-I used to play a lot of card games-like a lot..." You know this about her, you don't understand what she's doing here, what she's getting at. You await for her to start making sense.

"I know how to read faces-" she explains,"-and some people think they're good at hiding...but they always give themselves away..."

You're feeling a little... a lot worked up because of everything as it is...and it turns out, you weren't that careful about keeping fronts after all.

"-and you, you were good, the whole Badass-Don't give a damn persona was a pretty good shield but it wasn't a strong enough one was it? You allowed some of us to penetrate it-"

(you could almost hear Fat Amy saying 'not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate')

"Well some more than others... well you couldn't really help yourself when it came to Chloe, could you?"

'-c _ouldn't really help yourself when it came to Chloe'_ You remember Jesse had said something very similar.

You don't bother to look at her when you reply, "It doesn't concern you..." scared that if you say more you'll further be damming yourself, before exiting, you shuffle away from the room as fast as you can. Now three people knew about how you felt, so much for keeping it a secret and telling Chloe first... at this rate, everyone else would know...

You're suddenly struck by the idea of how easily everything could go wrong. How it would all unravel, fall to shit if you did yet another thing wrong.

Oh god why were you so obvious-and yet apparently not obvious enough to the one who hadn't figured it out yet; the one who was involved, Chloe...

* * *

After doing the presents you've moved on to eating. You're all sitting around the flat table filled with an assorted spread of Japanese cuisine: sashimi and sushi, tempura, shabu shabu, some ramen-to name a few, which you're washing down drinking legit sake- something you weren't so sure yet if you liked it or not...but alcohol was alcohol and what can you say?

Oh yeah there was something you said-had to say when drinking sake, "Kanpai!" you say shooting one back, your face twists as the sharp tang, the warmth that immediately floods your system-that travels all the way down to your gut. You clear your throat trying to rid it off the sensation-then start to cough.

"Take it easy short stuff..." Cynthia Rose says clapping your back,

"Yeah- that'll have to be the last one..." you say, pushing back the bottle "I don't wanna repeat of the other night."

"Good for you-" Stacie said reaching across the table to pinch your cheek.

"Good that's more for us." Fat Amy laughed snatching the bottle and promptly refilling her own glass.

"Look who's being all level-headed now, I'm so proud of you-" Aubrey says exaggeratedly, all smiley and teasing the rest of the girls chuckle at this.

"She's growing up so fast." Denise joins in.

"Aw not our baby Beca!" Lily calls out-her voice amplified by the alcohol in her system

You start to scrunch up your face steadily growing annoyed at all of them. You open you mouth to deliver a cutting retort to successfully shut them up but then Chloe leaning close distracts you, she whispers, "Hey I'd have taken care of you again if ever you did get drunk, y'know I don't mind." her breaths warm on your skin, raises goosebumps in its wake-it smells heady like the sake and the other alcoholic beverages she'd been drinking but it's not in any way disgusting-smelling in fact, you're tempted to just close your eyes and inhale deeply.

You try a smile-trying to play along-to see something close to unaffected, cool and casual. "I'm glad I at least have _someone_ I can consistently count on."

Your eyes widen when you feel her lips brush your ear-you suppose she still has more to say-why else would she stay this close breathing down the side of your face.

"Oh Becs, always know that with me you're in excellent, very capable hands." Chloe finishes before she pulls back flashing her flirty little smile. You see/catch Aubrey waggling her eyebrows your way, Cynthia's smirking before she catches your eye and winks.

You almost start choking again, you shake your head trying to cover up how flustered you were both from Chloe and from the other two girls.

"Ahem-yeah thanks but nah, I've already accumulated enough embarrassing moments from this trip alone to last a lifetime."

Yeah speaking of embarrassing...Like the whole geisha themed party wasn't embarrassing enough already. You'd already ticked of all the embarrassing activities for that day one by one.

You've done the whole Fan designing thing, yours was a dark blue with surprise surprise some cool bugs on it, Chloe's a pretty salmon color, with little jasmine and pretty flowers surrounding it.

Fat Amy''s had her's and Benji's name written all around in Japanese characters...and were bedazzled.

Stacie's was dark red and you're sure tiny thongs covered the surface of hers...

Cynthia Rose had casino chips on hers

Lily's had eyeballs on them...yeah...*shudders*

But that wasn't what was embarrassing about it-it was what came after, everyone had to participate in recreating that little fan dance from the movie; which you didn't like at all, both the film and the game-you had to perform it without dropping the fan...it was a pretty stupid game and much worse was that you weren't any good at it, that you kept dropping the fan.

The only bonus part was that Chloe had taken it upon herself to oh-so patiently teach you, she had resumed her whole standing-behind-guiding-your-movements hands-on-teaching that you missed which made the messing up worth it.

And of course there was the sumo wrestler fat suits-that everyone tried...Fat Amy had the most fun when she played _and won_ most battles. Aubrey refused to try it-maybe a bit traumatized the last time she got competitive she gave someone a concussion.

Not that there weren't any casualties during the night. The drinking and merriment lead to a few scuffles here and there-nothing major-a bruise here, a bump there.

There's this loud buzz of different pairs of conversations going on around you, it's quite difficult to single any one person speaking out-or for one to speak or to even be heard above it all.

"Hey drunkards!" Fat Amy's calls through her cupped hands-her way of calling attention; she screams, then whacks a fork at her glass(you're certain that she hadn't meant to do it so enthusiastically) which promptly causes the glass to shatter. There are sounds of surprise a shrie here and there but for the most part the Bride's relatives dismisses it as nothing, as something normal. Fat Amy casually steps over the pieces.

"I would like to commence the commencement of Entertainment- think was good idea to wait- I know it we'll be twice as fun as we are-well, most of us-are completely off of our faces.

"As Geisha's were known masters of entertaining besides the Haiku Performances there would be; a mini-concert where everyone would be required to do something that would entertain the crowd. They can choose to do so in whatever way they liked to; with singing, dancing and/or playing of musical instruments as accompaniment to their singing." Aubrey starts to explain then starts reading through a long list of rules that she had prepared just for the day.

"You all better drink this up-" Stacie approaches, huddling close stealthily slipping a tray laden with several shot glasses filled with some colorful mixture right under Aubrey's nose, who's still caught up in the middle of her speech.

You look around and watch everyone quickly, secretly, artfully downing the shots when Aubrey's eyes strayed from them. You however are still eying the mixture with distrust. Did you want to get drunk again and risk wreaking some havoc in your wake. You know and can almost feel that you are one critical mishap away from causing everything to come crashing and falling apart.

Chloe catches your eye smiles warmly and reaches a hand to rub your shoulder then with the other takes the glass Stacie was trying to hand over and toasts you, "To you Becs."

"Trust me-a couple more off these it'll all go by faster." Stacie says, confidently.

"I don't know..."

"She has five more pages of that. And I swear if you can even imagine it-even more embarrassing things planned." Denise says.

"I saw Amy's master list I think she planned to restage or reenact the whole film with the film playing behind it-we all need to watch it." Cynthia Rose murmurs.

"Give me that!" you say quickly grabbing the last shot and downing it.

"Okay, so the film viewing will commence in the next fifteen minutes I took the liberty of printing out scripts and assigning roles and Amy and Benji will be the leads...Sayuri and Chairman. Chloe will be Mamesan, I will be Mother or Miss Nitta, Stacie will play...Hatsumomo, Jesse will be Nobu, Doctor Krab, the Baron goes to Cap, Unicycle and the others are minor characters.." She passes the scripts out, "I printed an exact number of copies." She calls out. The people pass it down the table, and it runs out exactly before it reaches you. It goes quiet as everyone starts to go over their lines. Chloe moves closer to share hers with you, you smile at her thankfully, "Did I miss anyone..." Aubrey says looking around the extra script in her hand.

You raise your hand.

"Oh yes...here Becs." she says handing it to you. You glance down at the paper and immediately speak out asking."I'm Pumpkin-who the hell is that?"

"You're playing a vegetable?" Unicycle snorts.

"Actually its a fruit." Donald says, Lily nods.

"Who names their kid Pumpkin?" Cynthia Rose asks.

"Only the Japanese." Fat Amy answers.

Lily shakes her head and huffs. Donald wraps an arm around her. "That's racist...plus white people do the whole weird naming thing too after fruits, after states, after cars for pete's sake."

"And Indians have names like Ramdeep, Harshit Boob, Anal Singh." Cynthia Rose says.

"You do not want to get started on the whole funny naming thing Cynth-" Stacie says.

"Okay just go ahead and try with the cracking of the stereotypical African-American names jokes."

"Ah okay everyone...calm down for a second." Aubrey breaths shakily before completely losing it, "You are wasting valuable time here!" She screams hysterically.

"Aubrey seriously...breathe, take this-" Stacie says extracting with some difficulty the stacks of paper and folders that Aubrey was holding tightly to her chest. Stacie then places it on the table replacing her now considerably empty hands with two glasses of shots which Aubrey gratefully, quickly drinks.

"Eck-Mah...Whoo that was good." She says wiping her mouth with the back of her hand."So we do a practice reading then on to the movie. Is that alright with everyone?" She continues far more calmly.

"You better not purposely mess it up I swear, we'll keep repeating the scene-or the movie till it's exactly the way I want it." Fat Amy seriously states.

You heave a sigh look at the bottom of you glass, shrug and then pour yourself some more sake.

* * *

By midnight after all the crazy ruckus, the fun and games and hullabaloo had been expired everyone had sufficiently mellowed out, their energy being put to better use, the excellent music set provided by yours truly going around had sated the most aggressive of them-now everyone's thoroughly enjoying light leisurely activities, lounging, talking dancing in the moonlight.

Your mind's all fuzzy you barely remembered how the Haiku thing went you might've mumbled something about nature or somewhat. After the hot mess that was the Memoirs of a Geisha reenactment-everything else faded out of focus. It's all a heated, sweaty, giggly blur...and before you knew it Chloe and you are dancing.

_Dancing in the moonlight_  
Everybody's feeling warm and bright  
It's such a fine and natural sight  
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Chloe's in your arms swaying softly along with the midnight breeze. She shivers a bit and you automatically pull her closer. You wonder how you got there in this position not just the dancing, or the whole dancing in the middle of the crowd thing...this, holding Chloe tightly to you and her her hands wandering, around your waist...she's leaning on your shoulder...how'd she get you to do this because it had definitely not been your idea.

"Thanks for asking me to dance-that was very-Gentlewomanly of you." Chloe says with a English lilt, with a slight slur to it. Oh wait...yeah it had been you. Weird.

"What can I say... Me thought the lady looked too pretty not to be gracing the dance floor." You reply easily-your usual shyness and hesitation eluding you.

"So that's all I am to you, a mere pretty thing to flaunt, an object hanging of the crook of your arm?" She adds at the same time pulling out her decorated fan and fanning herself haughtily with it. Your smile grows bigger liking whatever what was happening. Was this role playing-huh it was kinda fun. You bite your lip as you think of an apt reply.

"Nay lady, you are so much more... but I cannot lie and say it gives me no pleasure to be worthy to have even just a crook of your arm and your ear while all the other gentlemen have to content with mere looking." You smile at the end of your speech, where was all this coming from...that was some drink Stacie made, making you weirdly eloquent.

"Oh errant lady, your tongue of silk aids you well and keeps you from landing an offense..." Chloe says prodding you with her fan, her eyes are still hazy but they dance with mirth-and something else and you can tell she's loving this, enjoying whatever it is as much as you.

"And you fair lady-deserve all the pretty words this silken tongue possesses." You smirk and she tilts her head. You have no means to censor yourself and right now you don't really care. You're wondering how you could take this further-if you were capable...it was a card game and you were wondering who would fold first.

"Beguiling thing 'tis tongue of silk, and powerful, it may succeed in bringing a noblewoman to her knees." She says lowly, her eyebrow rises almost like a challenge.

"Does thou give thy word-so I may take my tongue and use it until I have sight of your trembling knees." Chloe breaths once, twice. And for a moment it's all there-her eyes suddenly dark, open and clear...you feel a memory stir.

_"I love you Beca never forget..."_ But just as soon as it's there it disappears... but that had been a dream, hadn't it?

"Wait why did we start doing English accents?" She says bringing you back, easing back into drunken tipsy American Chloe.

"I don't know cos we're completely _off our heads._.." You say still with the accent, towards the end following the queen of hearts.

"You're such a goofball-You hate movies and yet you love cartoons."

"Classic Disney-I do hold on to my few fond childhood memories...and you started it... but anywho that was fun-sorta amazing. The accent really becomes you."

"You're not so bad yourself. It'd been cool if people still versed things that way today."

"Yeah, but unfortunately it's time to leave Shakespeare...we're supposed to be in a completely different era and... continent..."

"Farewell Lady Red." You bid her. She then giggles as she tries a curtsy but ultimately ends up falling on her ass. You laughingly help her up.

"Oohh, you're so strong..." she says giggling merrily, drunkenly- "and I'm all unsteady on my feet right now..." She comments, her arms finding purchase around your neck. "Sorry... you'll have to shoulder all my weight."

"I don't care-I mean, don't mind...lean on me all you want." She smiles again. "My heroine...like a person and like the drug. I feel all...free." She says and settles in comfortably into the crook of your neck. You chuckle a bit, shaking your head. You let your arms hold her securely, tightly to yourself...to keep her close, safe, yours.

You know what she meant-you felt it too. The moonlight was doing things to you or was it also due to the amount of alcohol and other strong substances... or was it just Chloe-everything Chloe her smell, her warmth, her laughter reaching you, floating around in your system making you high, lowering your inhibitions making you move around loosely, happily, freely, carelessly; the pair of you giggling drunkenly. You feel yourself closing your eyes drowsily and yet all your other senses are still buzzing. You feel her as she leans in close, her nose briefly touching yours, "Beca-" she whispers, you feel her breath- you give a sharp intake "uh-huh" you murmur. "Look at me." You raise them again her eyes searching deep into yours, patiently waiting.

You look up but instead of zeroing on Chloe's baby blues you freeze as you catch sight of both Jesse and Aubrey watching...Jesse's smile's strained from where he's seating-Aubry's further away but she's half-frowning, glancing between the two of you wondering what's going on.

You suddenly feel cold as guilt washes over you-as you remember yourself. You reluctantly pull away from Chloe who whines and full-on pouts "Becaaa where are you going...I'm cold. We're having so much fun..you're a good dancer."

"Yeah um you can dance with Stacie," you pull Stacie from Cap's grasp twirl her around to face Chloe "She's a better dancer...um I'll just sit down I'm feeling tired."

"Okay Grandma." She teases.

"Speak for yourself I'm still going strong..." Nana says dancing wildly as she passes by.

"You show them Nan!" Fat Amy calls out.

You walk, half-stumble giggling all the way to the patio and take the seat right next to Jesse, who you have yet to converse with during the entirety of the whole night "What tired already, you should really get out more Becs." He states humorlessly.

"Yeah...hey I thought I was the loner out of the two of us?" You half-heartedly joke.

"Oh you know felt like chilling... admiring the view of my supposed girlfriend dancing and grinding with some other chick. " His voice comes out hard and harsh, you wince. Jesse was never like this unless he was really drunk or really angry- so something must _really_ be bothering him. Wow, excellent powers of deduction and observation there Mitchell. Y'know and yet you'd almost forgotten, it was temporarily banished to the back of your mind how Jesse had really gotten the short end of the stick here what with his situation with Aubrey... while you in the other hand were acting all free flaunting it all in his face. So yes your understood his anger...and his being drunk...he was really drunk...and you thought you were far gone...it seems like with everyone else dancing Jesse had taken it upon himself to handle and consume all the incoming alcohol.

"Jess..." you start to say, the start of an apology, wanting to soothe him and his anger.

"I told you everything would be alright, didn't I...and I also recall saying not to be paranoid but you just had to jump the gun and look where that got us." He says voiced raised.

"I don't know how to fix this...If I only I could take it back, you know I would." You say voice small. You flinch as he gets up unsteadily to his feet momentarily towering over you, his face is all angry and red. Jesse catches himself-his face softening somewhat.

"Yeah I know...and you know that normally I'd actually be happy for you guys-that you're back to acting all cutesy and affectionate," he sighs "It's so sweet it's almost sickening."

"You're talking about it like we're some couple. We're just back to being friends."

"Well your just being friends with Chloe allows you to go back to the normal spending all the time together, that's a lot of time for a lot of Bechloe action to happen, and you get to make goo-goo eyes at each other all you want, I estimate that even before the week's over you'll get the girl. While me on the other hand the girl I like won't look at me let alone talk to me. You know it totally got the short end of the stick here..."

"Yeah we're back to normal...and I'm grateful but you're wrong Chloe doesn't like me like that."

He gives you this look; annoyed, angry even, but he then sighs and his eyes turn pitying.

"Chloe's watching you right now-she's been watching you all night, she hasn't been able to keep her eyes and until recently her hands off of you." It's a good thing you're flushed from the alcohol-so the deep blush isn't as obvious-you think. You're tempted to look. You try to shrug it off.

"She's touchy... she's flirty...she's Chloe for pete's sake." He makes a sound at the back of his throat-it sounds like defeat, like utter disbelief. You continue to give reasons."And she's probably just concerned, I'm a lightweight these days."

"God you can be so blind at times. Do people need to spell it out for you to get it? S-h-e space L-i-k-e-s space Y-o-u."

"Look I only just got her back-I don't wanna- I'm not about to let some theory of yours that she likes me back ruin it.." your words are muffled by Jesse kissing you, you're trying frantically to push him away but he's got you pinned to him, the rest of the gang wolf-whistles. When you emerge from that kiss-having first to control your palm that itches to make some connection with Jesse's cheek (you do manage to cover up a hard push to his chest-making it look playful but your murderous glare is anything but) and seeking Chloe out-you saw her disappear into the crowd just a few seconds ago.

"Hey Honey I won't allow them show to show us up-we're the ones getting married." she pulls Benji and dips him before proceeding to lock lips as well-causing the cousins to call out "Get 'em Pat!" All the while laughing uproariously.

You laugh almost crazy panick-y hysterically along with them, your eyes glancing around frantically. Where the hell was she?

"She saw and now she's gone are you freaking happy?" you hiss at Jesse. Jesse who's face is ashen-the top of his lip sweaty.

"Sorry I don't know why-I wasn't really thinking...straight. My mind's all... fuzzy."

"No really-you think... _you..._ think? You weren't _thinking_ at all because you can't be all level-headed 'cos you're freaking beyond just plain intoxicated, you're freaking hammered you crazy drunk A-hole." You wipe your mouth surreptitiously-you had tasted the sharp lingering taste of alcohol-you don't wan to think of how much he had consumed-you only know that it was too much as he absolutely reeks of alcohol...You're about to lay it on him some more but suddenly Aubrey's marching up to the two of you.

Oh shit you close your eyes ready for her to unleash the She hulk again but when you crack your eyes open to peek-to check her progress with the whole hitting you thing she's just standing there looking positively livid but she's not swinging yet so the shit hadn't hit the fan just yet-in fact she's breathing in and out trying to calm herself down, her eyes closed too (seemingly not trusting herself to contain her anger with you in plain sight) but then her eyes open and...

"What was that!?" she finally screams.

"Please, Aubrey, not now..." Jesse says. She ignores him.

"What is wrong with you..."

"Who me?" You ask, wondering why she wasn't looking at you, was she that pissed off?

"No _him._.. why did you do that?"

"He's beyond drunk-he looks perfectly fine but he's pass the stage-he's barely conscious he won't remember any of this tomorrow.

"Well not just him the both of you then...why'd you let him kiss you?"

"Seriously Bree-" You start to say, fed up with your rotten luck, fed up with everything in general.

"I was trying to get Bechloe to happen." Jesse says steadily but with a slight slur to his speech.

"No, I was the one who was trying to...you were _failing_ , quite fantastically in fact..." Aubrey grates out.

"I'll let you know that making one of the two main characters jealous always works in any other real life romantic movie situation-Wait you know about Chloe and Beca?" Jesse says dully, his tongue thick and slow.

"Are you really insulting my intelligence right now after you made me look like a fool?"

"I was going to tell you but Beca-"

"Hey..don't blame me..." you say before they quit fighting for a moment to look at you, "Okay, blame me..." you say putting your hands up, wilting under their gaze...

"So wait...Aubrey you aren't crazy mad at Jesse?"

"If I was it's because he didn't bother to tell me and that I had to figure it out myself and now...you had to add to the mess by doing this...did you want to send Chloe into the arms of the Brit..."

"No..NO..."

"Well if it looks like it worked..."

You turn your head so fast you almost hear the crick, Chloe was there rounding the corner pressed closely to Luke her face tucked into his chest, his arms tight around her. (you weren't sure which part was which...or which part belong to whom anymore.)

You feel your stomach drop. Oh shit...

Your eyes narrow as he holds her close, how he too is looking at you angrily,

You want to walk up there to pry his hands off her. But his eyes warn you not to try it-not to try anything, not to even be within a close proximity of Chloe. You recognize that look all protective-the way you used to-still get over Chloe...you know how if you were in his shoes...you'd have protected Chloe from anyone, anything...you wouldn't let anyone near her to hurt her...and your realize you had hurt her without wanting or meaning to.

So Chloe really did like you back. Well...enough to run away crying to Luke-her Jesse. Your face softens, You couldn't fight that look. You give her the space she needs though its killing you...so she could get the comfort that she sought from who was best for her at the moment. You give a slight nod in recognition-in understanding, he does to. Okay pretty boy you can hold Chloe for now but later, in your room, you and her would talk. You would have her to yourself.

You feel a twist in your gut as Chloe hugs him tighter.

"I feel sick. I need to puk-" Jesse says before quickly turning and just making it to the side of the patio where he emptied his stomach's contents.

"Me too Jess, me too." you say rubbing his back as his body started to reject the excess that he had forced in. If you were to be learning something from Jesse at the moment it was that some stuff you weren't meant to be kept inside for long. The whole secretly loving Chloe thing had done too much damage...well it was your fear, your spaz-y tendencies that caused all the mess, and because of it you were determined to take full responsibility. Y'knew that it would be you who would have to put things back in order.

* * *

In the early morn after everyone of you guests starts to drop one by one, then and only then does Amy officially close the party. Remarkably the O'kelly's remain standing looking as if they could continue partying for many days to come. While the rest stumble about making way to their assigned rooms Aubrey stays behind to oversee the cleaning up, you get stuck helping her as you are the two more sober ones. Chloe had long ago disappeared towards the direction of your shared room all the while closely aided by Luke.

You get to setting things straight and then between the two of you manage to maneuver Jess to the health center, it was the nearest place you didn't have the heart to leave him out in the patio. You lay him across your old bed-Now you can't be teased for being the only one amongst you guests to use it.

You look across at Aubrey the both of you are panting slightly-rather, more like extremely out of breath once you've gotten Jesse settled on the health station bed. (You didn't think to make any of the boys stay behind to help with him.) You have to get going to find Chloe now...however, you don't really know how to get out of-you don't even know if Aubrey was willing to take on the Jesse-care duties.

"You go ahead I'll see to..." Aubrey says, answering for you somehow hearing your wordless plea. She wordlessly gestures towards the patient before getting a pail, a glass of water, and some aspirin ready.

"You sure?"

"Bree..." He murmurs tiredly. She sets the items down and goes to him then sits by the bed. That was an answer enough for you.

You turn to leave, "Becaw-" Jesse weakly calls out when your almost out of the door. You turn back to him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers then groans as he tries to sit up.

"Lie down. It's fine. I guess we're kinda even now." you say. He nods tiredly sending a half-smile. Aubrey helps ease him back onto the bed before he closes his eyes to rest. Aubrey brushes a stray hair away from his face.

"Beca..." Aubrey calls your attention urgently.

"What?"

"Chloe-" she reminds you not unkindly. She gives you a look knowing that you were dragging your feet somewhat. "She needs an explanation. You can still fix this. You'll have to come through for her now and be entirely honest and open about everything.

"I don't know how or where to start-I don't even know if I- if we can manage that."

"If you guys just manage to sit down and talk it over everything will be okay, She wants to hear what you have to say...you better go she's waited long enough for you." You nod frantically ready to start of but you turn back one last time.

"Wait a minute...You knew that I didn't tell her yet?"

She gives you a "what-do-you-take-me-for" look and you just nod before leaving the room.

You would have to tell her now, this was it. No way could you deter yourself...you had to fix this, to explain it. You breathe in and out slowly trying to gather up your courage. You would do this and it would be okay...you're not sure where to begin or what to say exactly but it would turn out okay-it had to right. Right. What are you scared of anyway it's just Chloe. Right, when had she ever been just Chloe-she was everything Chloe. That's why you had to make this right before it was too late...make this right between you once and for all.

* * *

You finally make it to your shared room, it had felt like the longest trek getting there. You're absolutely knackered and yet somehow during the walk you had worked out what to say and had built up some confidence that seemed enough _hopefully_ to get you through it.

The first thing you see as you slowly ease open the door is Chloe in the dark room sitting on her bed, illuminated by the weak lamplight beside her.

Her back's turned to the door but you can see even from a distance that it's shaking, you can hear her softly sniffling, your heart constricts.

You close the door behind you gently as you walk into the room fully and she straightens up and gets off the bed. Her back remains turned. You count to three in your head-here you go, this was it. three. two one...but instead of 'Chloe I have to tell you something I ove you, I'm in love with you..'.

"Chloe...You okay?" You ask instead and still it takes so much courage to do so as you're terrified of what she'll say...I mean y'know her answer 'cos obviously she wasn't okay-you can see that but you're scared of how all of this had taken its toll on her... maybe so much more than you. You were actually awaiting some kind of a blow up, for Chloe's outburst, her violent reaction.

She does move closer and you quickly close your eyes and still yourself (for either a kiss or a slap you're readily prepared for either or the two) but her footsteps keep moving past you to retrieve her shoes from where she may have hurriedly discarded them by the door before she returns to her side of the room.

You wait a beat of a second as she continues moving around the room going about her normal nighttime routine and a few seconds more...then minutes...and you continue to wait..and what you get is nothing, not a word- which would've been okay as you were expecting a couple of choice words- you were even banking on a look-now that would've been welcome, even a slap. Just _something_ from Chloe to rouse Chloe, for her to acknowledge you.

"Sorry what was that?" She all but breathes out several moments later, her damp eyes finally raises to meet yours.

"I said or rather, I asked, are you…okay?" Her eyes smolder for a bit but then she lets out a gust of air deflating her body. She gives her head a little shake and bites her lip and with her new intake of breath back is her smile and her gaze on you feels softer but still, somehow, not genuinely Chloe enough and it leaves you feeling all hollow because in that one look you can almost feel her pulling away-it feels like a goodbye, almost like she'd given up somehow.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she says off-handedly, "Why would there be anything wrong…" She's good you'll giver her that but you can still hear the slight bite in there.

"Nothing." You get out slowly. You bite your lip wanting to say so much more. This kind of confrontation, being forceful when demanding things-answers from people was never really your strong suit.

"So nothing then…" She smiles before she starts turning away. Your heart's thudding loudly-you feel the blood rush to your ears. You can't leave it like this. Speak, tell her, Beca.

"Chloe…If there's something bothering you-you can tell me. You have to tell me." You say and her back stiffens just a tiny bit.

"I don't _have_ to tell you anything." She says her tone harsh almsot accusing. Her eyes flash, there's anger and sadness that you recognize but then she shakes her head and forces a smile "because...it's okay Beca. I'm fine...everything's _fine."_

_"And_ even if there was something I wouldn't want you to be unnecessarily burdened with it. It wouldn't be any of your concern. And I would have resolved it by talking it over with someone else." You feel hurt and confused and you know you have no right to be...

"Well then it's a good thing there isn't anything wrong…wouldn't want you to get worked up over nothing." You say unintentionally harsh. Chloe frowns. "So where were you then, after the dancing you just upped and left?"

"I just had to get away...I wasn't feeling all to well."

"I saw you with Luke-" you quickly say unable to keep your jealousy from leaking out.

"Yeah he was making me feel better-comforting me. He knows what I like...he knows me."

"Yeah he looked very comfy with you and the whole bringing comfort thing. He seemed to know exactly how to do so...He's good-very familiar with all thing Chloe Beale, he understands and applies the whole touch-feely comforting thing like you... "

Chloe's frown deepens, there's a deep line across her forehead and between her brows "Well yeah-he is my real friend these days." She says once again with that whole guilt-tripping tone.

This whole thing was your fault and you were trying to put things back in order its just that this entire conversation, wasn't quite going the way you had envisioned it. The both of you seemed keen on side-stepping everything important. You want to be up front and honest but how she was acting was really setting you off...

"I'm your friend." you say confusedly.

"Well, you looked pretty preoccupied...

"Jesse was-"

"Oh yes Jesse needed your help and you had to flock to him..."

"He's my-"

"I know what he is." She snaps. "But whatever you know...I don't even know. I don't know why... I was expecting things to be different...It's how you are-I mean it isn't anything new, it's not only now that you've been like this. And he hasn't been the only reason..."

Your mouth opens and closes, you're tying to form words but you are unsuccessful.

"What the hell do you mean?" You ask after what feels like several minutes of doing an exemplary 'fish-out-of-water' impression.

"You've been preoccupied with everything and anything for the past five years." You open your mouth to respond. But Chloe's now starting to get into the rant, to get thoroughly angry-to let out whatever it was that had been steaming within her, delivering on the blow up that you had expecting from her. Though you can't say that what she's ranting about isn't a surprise to you.

"Some friend you are-you were supposed to be my best friend...I was supposed to be your person and you were supposed to be mine... all these years I've wanted to talk to you, to tell you things...but after Barden you just disappeared off the face of the earth. Sure you left a number but you were so hard to reach...You had all these excuses and always too busy, too busy to pick up a phone, too busy to return any of my calls, to even reply in facebook-or viber or to a freaking tweet on twitter." She says, advancing upon you. You feel your back hit the wall.

Your mouth drops open in shock. Your head's spinning. "What the hell-where is this coming from?"

"You really don't know..." She asks angrily looking on the verge of tears. Oh shit this wasn't going too well was it? You try to calm her down...do some damage control.

"I understand that you're upset about me-about us losing touch but...I don't see why that's relevant now..." Chloe looks up looking pissed off again, "I mean of course its relevant but I...that's all in the past I mean you said that we're both here now and we can make up for it..."

You only realize how close she's gotten when you feel her breath on your face then your mind is flooded with images…some you recognized others you didn't-with all the ongoing thoughts the fuzzy state of everything-it isn't clear which one's happened in the dream, which happened in reality.

There's an overlapping of images; Of her standing this close…but she was half-naked. "What's the point of wearing clothes you're just going to tear them off anyway." She laughs.

You forcefully push that fantasy away as it's distracting you from what Chloe's currently saying and doing but it's too late Chloe's getting more and more agitated..."Beca-Are you even listening to me? Can you at least have the decency to pay attention when I'm talking to you?"

"Huh-what?"

"God...you have one thick skull, like seriously you are the most emotionally constipated person I've ever met." Chloe says her voice hard. She's still drunk that's why she's acting like this all confusing...and normally you'd give her some leeway, but there's this pain spreading, what had been a dull throb felt like this intense pressure squeezing at your head. Your head hurts but it was a different pain from what you experienced after hitting your head on the side of the pool, this one felt older, sharper.

You gently push her away and slide to the floor grasping your head. What was happening to you.

She had called you emotionally constipated for some reason it makes you want to laugh...then your mind amidst the pain helps you recall another time, the same words but said with a different tone. Your mind plays it back.

_You were back at Chloe and Aubrey's shared dorm room. Aubrey had class and Chloe had convinced you to come over with the pretense of letting you sort through and helping her organize her ever growing vinyl collection; the idea you liked-but the spending the time with the person who'd asked you-you liked even more. There wasn't even the remotest chance of rejection, there was absolutely no hesitation when you gave your answer._

_But right now, as tradition while hanging out with the redhead the whole purpose or excuse for hanging out-the sorting activity was taking a backseat to other activities; lounging about, talking, dilly-dallying while reclining and eating on her bed. And as expected or what had become typical somehow with the two of you-occurring more and more often as of late you could always expect a turn... such idle lazy moments would lead up to completely random yet still somehow weirdly, heavy, deeply significant conversations._

"B _ecs stop being so emotionally constipated." She says and you can't help smiling at the term while playfully rolling your eyes. You look at the spread of sweets-Chloe had indulged in your sugar high craving allowing chocolates and gummies, and all kinds of candies galore. You peel apart a twizzler and stick it in your mouth to stop yourself from retorting._

_Chloe takes the other part of the candy. "We're really good, really close friends-best friends even… you can say it. There's no need to be scared you can say it-like the actual words…it's okay to tell me you luuurve me…" She teases, waggling her eyebrows._

_You bite the inside of your cheek to stop that goofy, embarrassed smile from appearing, from giving you away._

_"I'm not scared or…y'know constipated or whatever." You say in a surprisingly even tone. She cocks her head awaiting for you to explain yourself further."I just… why does everything have to be said…Why do people have to be showy about it or soap-opery…Y'know… Isn't it just mutual knowledge. Can't it just be understood and accepted as such shouldn't actions be enough…shouldn't actions speak louder than words?" You finish, your voice had been raised, chocked up and weird sounding. You don't know where that rant had come from- even Chloe is similarly surprised, her eyebrows have all but disappeared into her hairline. But then her brows furrow and she smiles,"But you also have problems with physical affection."_

_"Yeah…It's-well, I'm a work in progress-I'm getting better at it though. I have you to thank… I guess. I've gotten used to it-I really didn't have a choice... you don't seem to understand-no I think you are completely unaware of the whole needing personal space concept."_

_"Hey!" She says looking mildly offended._

_"What-it's true. " She looks like she wants to say something but bites her lip. "And that's why you can't think of anything to say right now." You say barking with laughter._

_"Physical affection is nice…but sometimes it also feels good for stuff to be acknowledged to be confirmed aloud, out in the open. Y'know 'cos sometimes people choose to act differently from how they're feeling-" She says her voice suddenly serious._

_"And people could be saying completely different stuff from what they're thinking." You feel yourself responding similarly, your voice low. Chloe looks up and your both silent mulling it over. You decide to be the one to break the enveloping silence._

_"Yeah-we could step into the whole People by nature are dishonest, lying, deceiving creatures... but that's too dark- even for me." You deadpan. She cracks a smile._

_"So let's lighten it up then. C'mon it's easy-simple even." She stares at you hard, "Say it…I really need to hear it at least once from you..."_

_"You're my best friend… so I guess that I might like you... enough…" You say off-handedly.  
_

" _C'mon!" She pouts "Tell me Beca...I know you do..."  
_

_"I do not-" you hear yourself stoutly saying but can feel a smile coming on-it takes everything in you not to give in and just let it out.  
_

_"C'mon, If you don't do it...I'll have to-" She begins gravely, "_ _I guess... I'll have to..._ _tickle it out of you." She says cocking her head.  
_

_"You wouldn't dare…"_

_She smirks. Her brows raise, perking up at the challenge. She raises her hands and wriggles them. You dodge and jump off the bed and Chloe follows suit._

_"C'mon might as well say it now." S_ _he says while chasing after you. "_ _I'm gonna catch you then tickle you till you cry for mercy then you'll wish that you'd said it earlier."_

_You go round and round the room till Chloe takes a well-timed leap from behind her desk, it's a perfect trajectory-she lands on you, pushing you back onto the bed sending all the sweets flying this way and that._

_"C'mon say it 'I love Chloe!'" She says panting slightly from above you, lightly pinning you down with her weight. You could totally top her-maybe you were waiting to see if she would push through with it, maybe you were anticipating heavily her pushing through with it, maybe you were enjoying this way too much._

_"Wow you're exerting way too much effort in getting me to say it…"_

_"Well I wouldn't have to if you weren't making it unnecessarily harder for me. So-" she says shifting her weight slightly so she's pinning you down more effectively. Her front pushed up, aligned perfectly with yours."-you give?"_

_"No." You say as strongly as you can, you're actually quite breathless- not from her weight on yours-well...yes, from her weight but also how it felt; her pressed against you._

_She smirks "I was hoping you'd say that." Quickly-not even giving you a second to prepare yourself-you feel her hands reaching under your shirt;your stomach clenches as her slightly cold hands reach your most ticklish spots. You first try to struggle then try to still yourself, to last, to fight against it ...but her fingers wield such power and before you know it, you're ready to wave the white flag not even ten seconds in._

_"Stop."_

_"Beg for mercy!"_

_"Chloe. Please!"_

_"No you have to say the word mercy..."_

_"Mercy!"_

_"Mercy is for the weak-"_ _She laughs, "N_ _ow say the other line... then and only then will I end your suffering."_

_"Stop. Please! Fine fine!…" You gasp out amidst your laughter. "I love Chloe." You say and she's there hovering over you and she's staring down watching you as you breathe in slowly trying to recover your breath. Her face is flushed, she looks jubilant, smug even. "See that wasn't so hard, was it?" You see the little half smile on her face and can picture, can liken it to the cat that had finally gotten the canary._

_"Yeah...I dunno." You frown pretending to be pissed. But you feel your own lips twitch as you decide to retaliate by messing with her. "it doesn't seem or sound quite natural...just yet-" You assure her, "I guess practice makes perfect...so...I'll uh-have to say it again...you like?" You ask._

_Chloe bounces up into a sitting position,_ _clapping her hands excitedly-You inwardly smile_ _she was like a little kid. You raise your body slightly of the bed, leaning on your elbows. "I...love..." She waits patiently."-Chloe." you finish. And her smile shines through brightly, and it makes your heart stutter, it almost hinders you from adding in "-Chloe Moretz. She's so cool."_

_"Wait no-Chloë Sevigny. I'm not into films but I appreciate her spectacular acting in Boys Don't Cry. I think she was the main reason I stayed awake through most of it." You say and it's her turn to roll her eyes exaggeratedly,an action she picked up from hanging around you a lot._

_"You are so annoying." she says your smile widens._

_"You love me though."_

_"Yeah, I do love you, Beca." She says her face not really serious not really joking. "See easy-peasy."_

"Beca." Chloe's voice echoes bringing you back, frustration lacing her tone. You recall what she had said before calling you emotionally constipated, _"You really don't know?"_ and form a response.

"What am I...supposed to know? What do i already know?" She stares at you again and her eyes are so sad making your chest tighten painfully.

"Nothing apparently-Anyway I'm tired..." She says and you notice as she puts on her shoes and takes a jacket and puts it over her sleep wear preparing to leave the room.

"Okay. Let's sleep then..." you say trying to convince her to stay,

"I wanna sleep but I'm taking a walk to clear my head a bit...I need to let go of some... things..." She brushes past you.

"Wai-" you begin to say but she's gone. Was she gone for good? You feel that chill of foreboding. Of course not you numbskull...she just needed space. She's probably going around the vicinity-it's not like she would or could leave the estate...It's not like she wouldn't come back.

* * *

She didn't come back... not as herself at least. She was now fully-distanced Chloe. You thought you had known how it felt for her to be that way-you had felt off around her the first night, you were estranged all these years, but it was much worse now...cos she was right there in front of you and yet it was like she had given up on you.

The next day and a half is pure hell of mutual discomfort and of awkwardness so extreme that even Fat Amy's relatives notice it. Of course they mostly notice that "Red's not as perky today." and that" Tiny's even more sour-faced than usual."

After that night the two of you barely looked at each other or even acknowledged each others existence.

You had been prepared to talk it through as you hadn't an idea what exactly had happened all you know is that you had been completely unprepared and it had all escalated quickly beyond your control- too fast to know the right thing to say or do at the time. After she left you had taken a moment to gather your thoughts and then and there you decided your actions. You would talk to Chloe as soon as she came back to your room-you wouldn't let her try to shut you up-you'd speak first…in a clear and concise manner you'd explain everything and ask her to forgive you.

You'd been waiting up for Chloe only to drift off for a second and wake up only to catch her coming in during the wee hours of the early morn wearing an old familiar-looking Manchester United shirt, you didn't need to guess who owned it. You guess with Fat Amy and everyone else being so drunk it had been all too easy for her and Luke to get past the no boys and girls in the same room rule-

The situation was dire, yet you fear it could only get worse-tonight officially …right now actually... Aubrey was moving out of your room to go into her private one. She was just gathering the last of her things.

You remember this day was supposed to be one of extreme joy-it was supposed to the big event to top all big events. But now you dreaded every second, minute, hour that ticked by with Aubrey taking this and that it left more than a literal space...you felt the distance between Chloe and you growing beyond repair. She spent most of her time around Luke now and you drifted between the Bellas and Jesse…the one's who knew tried to cheer your up, the rest who didn't left you alone... but you couldn't hang around any one of them for long without giving in to your slight depression. So you tended to remove yourself from the group in order to stop being a wet blanket, or a mega-downer on everyone's happiness.

Like tonight-you decided to retire to bed early. You asked to be excused from yet another bar hopping around the area then a Hawaiian-themed party at the other side of the house. Jesse and Cynthia Rose eyed you understandingly. Aubrey told you to "rest it out for now but to get it together tomorrow morning or else." She casts a significant look over at the two people you refused to acknowledge-that you dismissed as mere furniture…Chloe and Luke all cosy, hauled up together on some random surface-this time an armchair ... _Yeah squeeze yourselves into one tiny space it'd not like there aren't several available chairs._ You think before you turn and leave, making your way back to your room.

* * *

You close your door against the traveling still slightly booming party noise. You make record time in getting ready for bed then quickly settle under your covers… it's unsettling the silence inside the room.

You look around noting how vast it really was-how empty it had become.

You feel really lonely on your side of the room-you look longingly at the joined beds … you don't know why you get into your mind that at least being in that bed would make you appear-make you feel less alone…You're having a battle within yourself…should you sleep there or not. You really want to...

Chloe probably wouldn't even come in again-these past two nights she hadn't. You convince yourself that it's your right-you have the right to be comfortable and it was such a waste no one using the perfectly spacey bed. You get into the bed but moments later you're still having a fretful time falling asleep.

You're questioning your actions. Maybe cos you can't admit to wanting to be near Chloe you weren't quite ready for it at the moment but at the same time you feel pathetic -using this as a substitute... it's all you could take at the moment, at least being near her things would serve as a temporary aid perhaps it would lessen the ache.

But the ache only seemed to grow as you though of how most likely-your attempts at ignoring her had been noticed and yet she hadn't cared at all-she couldn't be bothered as she no longer wanted anything to do with you…

You bite your lip hard and close your eyes against the painful squeeze that the thought caused your heart.

* * *

Yours was a restless sleep…even the path leading to sleepy town had been fraught with complications; with all the tossing and turning and heavy thoughts...but somehow you had finally reached that stage, the deep sleep stage, and you had good reason to believe that you wouldn't be disturbed by anyone or anything from there on out.

But you jolt awake sometime later for an unknown reason; your senses are lagging still caught between sleep and waking…your sense of touch comes. You feel warmer, more cosy that before...then your sense of smell;vanilla and cinnamon and something heady, then slowly your sight…the night light had been plugged back in and by the dim light you see several things in disarray-a couple of things strewn about, a plant toppled over, shoes, a dress that you recognize at the foot of the bed and all at once everything clicks. Chloe was here in the room, in the bed hugging you-You quickly turn around in her arms.

"Chloe?" you ask in disbelief though you really can't be mistaken.

"Heeyyy-Beca's awake…Yay!" Chloe says loudly, adding up the sense of hearing, the slight slur to her speech confirming another detail-she was drunk. She hugs you to herself-snuggles into you. You stiffen.

"Yeah-um….did you just get in?" You ask still hesitant, casually pulling away.

"Yup. It was a wild partyyy… " She says squashing your attempts by bringing you back into her arms. "We did poi dancing and all these other neat stuff…you missed out…" She says beaming, you can't help smiling back. You sigh.

"Yeah seems like I missed out on a lot of significant things…which I regret… _a lot_." She has no idea how much you wished you'd been brave enough to face her before-that you hadn't run away, kept away, protecting yourself from how you felt all these years. "You don't know how hard it's been keeping away...I missed you-I miss you always...But-I shouldn't be talking about this when you're like this….Chloe?" Her eyes have glazed over..had she passed out with her eyes open-

"Chloe?" you whisper. Her eyes suddenly clear up and she looks straight at you."Beca..." she says softly. "I know I shouldn't be saying this…cos' of everything…"

"Hmm" you make a sound of acknowledgement-your voice muffled-though you can hardly breathe…you're still trying to calm your heart…imagine to be pining way for Chloe and to wake up right in her arms-to say she had caught you unaware was an understatement

"-but I'm glad Aubrey's out...I missed being this close to you." Your heart thuds heavily as she snuggles in freely, her arms securing you to her tightly. It takes everything in you not to cry... with relief, with happiness because it wasn't just you who had felt miserable without her...she was drunk she proabaly wpuld have no recollection of what she had just said and she'd probably dismiss this whole scenario tomorrow...everything would go back to normal by the light of day. But tonight, in this new calm that the darkness brought...you would go with it-you'd take what you could get.

She sighs in contentment and drifts off into a peaceful sleep feeling comfortable in your arms again while you try to do the same.

* * *

What feels like hours later-you are still having a hard time doing the same.

It's rather difficult when right now you're wide awake... when your whole body's tingling, thrumming right where her breasts are pushing up against your back, and for every inhale-exhale to hit you right at the nape...to where her hand's resting near your navel...occasionally moving...finally resting where your skin's a tiny bit exposed...

You can't help feeling totally turned on and weirded out at the same time...this was real, but the situation was awkward to say the least...your body can't seem to keep up with this weird uncertain place, this stalemate that you and Chloe were in this feeble pretense of friendship...it's thrumming, responding to her light innocent, unconscious touches...and it's making you oh so guilty...

The tightening feeling in your gut, the moist feeling that grows as her lips ghost over your nape, as her hand moves, clutches, caresses at your clothing then at your skin...

All of this was wrong...to fantasize to get so much out of it. Chloe was asleep...you should just ignore it and...

You turn and are surprised to see Chloe's face so close to yours... her eyes wide open...her eyes a darker hue than you've ever seen it before.

She leans in and you close your eyes expecting any moment to be wrenched from this dream. But seconds later when you feel her lips, so soft and warm press into yours sweet and slow then later becoming more insistent, traveling across your face, then your neck...you are forced to accept that this is real-feel that it is as soon as you feel Chloe's hand deliberately slip up your shirt...You pull away slightly feeling dizzy, your hand finding hers...

"Chloe-what?" you say breathlessly.

"Just for tonight..." She whispers, her breath softly caressing your face while her hand starts to caress you, massage you. You close your eyes giving in to the sensations...drunk without alcohol...drunk on her lips, the sound of her heavy breathing...her soft sure caress...You feel everything...feel her hand as it slowly makes it way down then inside your pants. Your eyes jolt open.

"No-wait...stop..." You say with supreme effort... Chloe almost growls. You take her in with her swollen lips, her dark heavily lidded eyes that she raises to yours- almost making you give in...

"This is wrong-I don't..." Quickly her eyes change, regain some of it's anger...

"We can't just..." -but what you can see clear as day as she starts to move away is pain-rejection...

She's still breathing hard, her hair's wild..."You're..." She frowns-her gaze unwavering...The both of you are waiting for you to finish your sentence.

"Fuck it-" you say and pull her to you, hungrily capturing her lips in your own

* * *

"You're going to hate me in the morning."


	13. Chapter 13

 "Beca?"

You groan. Your eyes are heavy, dry and so very, very tired. So much that you almost never want to open them even though the bright light of morning is practically forcing you to get up, beating on your closed lids.

You feel a hand shake your shoulder. And there's also _that_.

You grumble. _Nope, no way are you moving_. You barely slept last night.

You groan while stretching, feeling your body protest- It has that almost forgotten but delightfully familiar, deliciously painful soreness. You hum enjoying feeling completely sated and satisfied.

"Beca, not that I mind because _wow_ -but your girls are staring at me and there are more people on their way, you may want to clothe yourself."

Your eyes burst open as everything from last night floods in, and your entirely naked body clenches with a hard guilty pang.

You sit upright pulling the blanket to cover your chest.

"What happened to you last night?" comes that soft voice with a blurred face. You rub at your caked eyes, willing for it to adjust.

Everything had happened that wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet, not like this.

It had happened, hadn't it? You can't help questioning it, especially by the way you'd been having your dreams as of late, its a definite possibly it could've all been in your head. Though you hope to god that wasn't true and this wasn't some Blackswan thing where you were just masturbating. But you look at all the evidence. Your body's soreness, the scent around you, the girl-

You turn to the person to your right not trusting your own thoughts at the moment. It's only Stacie though, watching you with a knowing smirk. Wait, where was Chloe?

"Whatever it was, it seemed fun. Totally worth skipping our little powwow for. So our two favorite co-captains finally got together and banged."

You try to channel your earlier confusion, trying to wipe your face clean but Stacie's all smiles, knowing and smug.

"Whatever Becs. That straight face isn't nearly as convincing as you pretending to be straight, which admittedly wasn't convincing to begin with."

You can only manage a wry smile at Stacie. This was no longer amusing. _Seriously_. Not another one. At this point maybe you should ask who didn't know about Chloe and you.

"I've been watching you two. You know my hunter's always up for some action, even if it wasn't for me." she amends, "Though tripletreble, who wouldn't want to get in on some Bloe with Bechloe. So back to me and my best friend."

You channel actual amusement now. "He, as in the hunter, is who you're referring to as your your best friend."

"He's a wingman, my soul confidant. He never judges me. He knows exactly what I want. All I have to do is keep him clean and feed him and he gives me a life full of love. He's basically the whole package. Cunning, smart. He's always so attuned to any and all possibilities though he's best at following unresolved sexual tension in a person. And these past nights its been off the charts, what with Fat Amy's ruling. But it was a whole new level when it came to you guys, five years worth all bottled up, I don't know how you guys lasted so long. It was getting hard to even be in a room with you both. So damn frustrating watching you all the years standing next to boys when you only ever had eyes for each other."

You can't believe you're hearing this.

"But last night I saw our favorite redhead taking action, making her way to the girls dormitories to her own bed, to supposedly sleep. " she makes air quotes, "We both now that she hasn't been sleeping in you guys's room as her and the yummy brit Luke have been cosying up in that platonic way they do."

Wait, now that was news.

"Still?I thought they'd gotten together-"

"I know somethings different with them but the guy's chivalrous, he won't get with Chloe when she's obviously pinning over someone else. He's giving her time to get over-"

She glances at you pointedly.

"Also we both know the sleep thing definitely didn't happen. It totally smells like crazy, drunken, sex in here."

You sigh.

All that happened sounds even worse being spelled out like that.

Cos...Shit.

Chloe and you had really-you were so. _Fucked._

In the back of your mind you almost want to ask Stacie what that would smell like, but you may not want to know.

You groan aloud needing actual words this time. "Stace. Too much talking. Too fast."

"Sorry to pile this on you, I'm sure you're still in some Chloe induced sex fog and wanting to rest. I came here to warn you both since the entire dingo family is on their morning surprise inspection, but it seems the redhead has left the building."

You feel queasy. She had left you in your bed naked and alone. There are some things you actually want to know like 'What was going through Chloe's head right now?' and 'Who was she with?' and lastly 'Did she regret it?'

"Sorry I should be showing sympathy or empathy, wait those two words confuse me which one of those convey my sorrow for your plight even though I have no idea how that feels, I usually do the abandoning. Do you need someone to talk to about all this. I swear I know some shit but I feel like I don't know the half of it. So bechloe got their bloe action. So what's gonna happen with Jess, will you break up and will he get with Aubrey like we're all expecting?"

In order to stop the barrage of questions, and mostly to get her out of your hair so you could go out and actually find Chloe you tell Stacie everything, as in everything from the very beginning.

You feel some sort of weight of your chest. Here was someone not so directly affected by your schemes. And Stacie you know, had a no judgement policy when it came to getting with somebody. You know she's done far worse than you. And you know that she knows you enough to know and understand that you had simply messed up, several times after another.

"I understand that you feel guilty

but do you regret it?"

"The sex-honestly is that even a question, hell no." you say semi-seriously. She mimes lifiting off her hat to you, "But do I regret the circumstances-with all my heart. Everything was already fucked to begin with and now it actually got worse."

You think of just how much it had gotten worse.

"So the two of you had sex while Chloe still thought you were with Jesse and she was having a whatchamacallit with pretty boy Luke."

"Yup and while she's sober we're not on the best of terms." _Understatement._ She'd seemed to hate your guts, and had been all out ignoring you these past few days.

"But then she got drunk, jumped into the bed she hadn't been sleeping in and then consequently went on to jump you." You smile at her choice of words.

She's right though. And you, mortal as you are, couldn't exactly say no.

In the long run it was two adults, saying yes to something that apparently had been a long time coming(affirmed by your friends) for both of you. And afterwards you spent a long time coming.

But yet again you remind yourself that Chloe was drunk, you weren't. You can't help feeling you took advantage of her in her inebriated state. But for those moments it had been...something out of a dream(No pun intended) but better. Sex with Chloe, the real thing, everything about it was just...perfect-she was perfect.

The way you held each other, kissed, caressed one another. Those weren't just mere actions, they meant something, conveyed everything you couldn't find the words to say. _I love you. It's always been you-No one else._

And for a split second you could believe that she knew, that she responded similarly, felt as deeply. For you, there was a confirmation in the way she kissed you so softly, the way she whispered out your name like it was sacred, like saying it loudly could break you out of that moment you were both experiencing, when you reached your peak, how she held you to her as though she'd never let you go. The way she looked at you in wonder, with love. It felt too precious, fragile enough to shatter.

You remember that clearly. You could hardly believe it.

You close your eyes and reach out your hand feeling, empty, but still warm sheets, to the pillow that had been on Chloe's side. You bring it close to your cheek.

"Erm should I leave you two alone?" Stacie asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. She's staring at you and the pillow you held closely.

You flush at having been caught up- then caught-in your Chloe moment there. You roll your eyes. "Do you know where she went?"

"Usually I'd be like, its not like she'd get very far. But yeah this place is huge she could be literally anywhere. But I think of all people you'd know most likely where she'd wander of to."

"Who would wander off where?" Far Amy comes in with Aubrey, then the rest of the girls in tow.

You shrink further to the bed. There's seriously nothing between you, your naked body and them but a thin sheet.

You don't want anyone else, Aubrey and Fat Amy least of all, to know what had happened before you could discuss things with Chloe.

You look to Stacie willing for her to read your mind.

"Aubrey, have you seen Chloe?" Stacie says not understanding your silent plea

Aubrey raises her brows.

"No, I haven't seen her since last night before she went off to bed. She was completely plastered so I brought her as far as our door so she should be here or did she not make it into the room, Beca?" Aubrey's inquisitive gaze feels stifling the longer it stays on you and you feel yourself sweating.

"No, I mean...yes, I remember she definitely got here." you say willing your face to look completely innocent.

"Yeah she _definitely_ came here alright." Stacie says eyes flashing wickedly.

"So. Where is she?" Aubrey says after looking through the room, checking the washroom, the porch.

"I don't know exactly." you say lamely. "I didn't catch her leaving. She left m-earlier when I was asleep."

"Why would she go?" Cynthia asks her eyes questioning 'What happened' and seeimg her eyes clear up with understanding. Shit, you think she knows.

"I don't know." you murmur feeling like a total idiot Feeling like you could make a good guess at the answer. Clearly she hated what had happened, and now she decided that she fully, wholly hated you.

"We'll go find her then. She can't have wandered very far. I can bring out my kangassins to hunt her down, they'll know to just find and not kill." Fat Amy offers.

"Find who?" Benji wanders in, followed by all the boys. You sink the lowest you can into the bed (if you'd gone any lower the mattress would have sucked you in by now.)

Benji makes a beeline to Amy and hugs her.

_The hell_. Who had decided to make _this_ room into some unofficial reception hall.

"Chloe." Amy answers after kissing Benji, "Have any of you guys seen her at all this morning?"

No one had. Of course and maybe if they had they couldn't be entirely sure, they're still slightly out of shape; drowsy and hung over. You see them settling into the other beds. You see them glancing longingly at the one you're currently occupying filled with free new space to occupy. _No way in hell are you sharing this bed._

_Not like this. Not with any boy. Not with anyone else._

This can't get any worse. You can't wait for the reveal that you're naked under there- _The joy._

"Twig ginger's missing?" comes Pawpaw's booming voice.

Oh god. This trip was set to make sure your ego and whatever self respect you had left, completely died so you could no longer show your face to anyone.

"You lost Chloe?" Jesse asks you. You want to be defensive. But his sentence held more to it. A deeper truth. You may have lost her forever and you never really had her in the first place.

You know when you have something slightly broken and then instead of fixing it straight away you let it stay there until more things become messed up because of it and then later when it's at its most fragile you just completely crush it to fine dust because you're sure you can't do anything else to fix it. Yup that was you did, that was you, the epic failure.

"And why aren't you more concerned, Beca. Why don't you get out of bed and we can start looking for her." Aubrey chastises, her stare bearing down on you, annoyed and judgemental.

Her stare hardens for each second you stay still- not saying or doing anything.

You internally start to panic, you look around trying to find a possible way to distract them to make a quick exit. You catch a glance of Stacie, who legit looks like she might wet herself, she's biting her lip hard trying to stop the laughter you can see is practically bursting to get out. Thanks, Stace. Really.

She shrugs in a 'what can you do' motion.

Exactly. You can't do anything. You can't even move since there's too many people blocking your way.

Fudge Nuggets. Here you go.

"Uh. I'm not decent." you say trying to put it as delicately as you can.

"Completely indecent. "Fat Amy agrees, "Get off your ass.

Look at us we're up and about when we were drinking our poor livers dead." you raise a brow looking around at everyone still strewn about every whichway in your room. The ones not on the beds had sunk to the floor littering it like booby traps, hindering you from running anywhere. Fat Amy shrugs.

"Dude, I am not being rude, I'm just nude." you half mumble the last part

"Pardon?" Aubrey asks, confused.

"She said she's not in the mood?" one of the boys say.

"You're not in the mood. How selfish are you right now Beca, what's wrong with you?'

_They're really gonna make you say it out loud._

"I didn't say that I'm not in the _mood_." you say, barely controlling yourself, before you lose your shit and start shouting "-I said I'm _nude_... I'm naked. I'm in my freaking birthday suit. How else can I say it. _God!_ "

There's a collective _oh_ that goes around and plenty of sorry's (Pawpa stutters out an apology before quickly leaving-the most timid you'd ever seen him)and everyone looks chastised enough. You do see a couple of furtive looks.

You move the pillow closer to your chest not taking a chance with just the blanket.

You wait a beat of a second and yet still nobody else moves.

"Yeah so maybe I can get a little privacy here, get dressed then we can go find Chloe."

The boys immediately start to leave.

Jesse stays and leans close which isn't helpful.

"What Jess?" you say, leaning back and at the same time wanting to push him away.

"Nothing. Do you want to talk...about any recent developments?" he says, mentioning his head to you and your state of undress.

"Uh maybe preferably when I'm clothed so...that can wait."

He nods but his eyes say that he wasn't gonna let it past.

You look around at all your girlfriends who are still comfortably sitting around your room not at all bothered by your declaration.

"Um I know you guys are my bellas sisters but our closeness has its limits. I need to get ready."

"Beca c'mon we all have em. Some more than others but they're basically the same." says Fat Amy.

"Whatever if you won't leave can you guys throw me my clothes?"you grumble. Or maybe you'll just wrap the blanket around you and then go to the washroom.

"Fine we'll go. We were just messing with you, besides words in that there's food already laid out. We'll take turns looking after grabbing a quick bite." says Cynthia Rose. That was all they needed as they all speedily leave.

Stacie walks up to the bed then leans close, "It'll be okay. You guys will sort this out or fuck things out. Whatever happens, if you need any advice...I'm here."

"Thanks Stace." you say, she sits and then hugs you.

"My, my Becs. I can feel your nipples hardening." she laughs, you blush then push her off.

"You were the one feeling me up plus its cold."

"Yeah yeah." She laughs. " Hurry up."

"I'll follow!" you shout after a couple of moments. You finally get to move off the bed, leaving the blanket. You stretch and groan at hearing your bones pop. You move to your drawers and choose your clothes but now, with no one there you freely walk around, you choose to air out your body which had become slightly sweaty since you had no choice but to stay under the sheets.

You rush to the washroom needing desperately to take a shower.

Your shower isn't a short one. It takes a couple of minutes for the heat to get going and several minutes more for you to enjoy it.

You hear from inside the front door opening and a couple of the girls stepping inside.

They call out something but in the shower you hardly understand it.

Something like "Chloe not found, they fear.."

Whatever they meant it sounded bad. Ominous.

You clean yourself quickly and after reach for your towel on its usual place but you remembered you'd left it on your bed. You step out, still dripping and head to your bed.

"I hope nothing happened to her." You muse aloud.

" I hope they find her so I can get to tell Chloe-"

"Tell me what?"

"Chloe!?" You turn around, but quickly turn back remembering your state of undress then pull the closest thing- a curtain to cover yourself. This was so weirdly reminiscent of your first meeting.

You temporarily forget your embarrassment when you recall your earlier apprehension,the worry she put you through. "What the hell. Where have you been? Everyone's out there looking for you!"

"I was taking a morning swim."

You do look down at her in a bikini, her towel loosely hanging around her neck.

You flush even more seeing Chloe, fresh and clean and so very lovely. Her cheeks red, and pool water still clinging to her skin.

This was almost dejavu how you were both wet, both exposed. Well one more than the other. You shouldn't be staring but you can't stop, and what else can you do when no one's saying anything and the tension is so thick it could be cut with a knife.

You can't bear to look her in the eyes cos she'll immediately know that instead of feeling apologetic and guilty like you're supposed to be feeling you're completely...you can't even finish that thought. You're thinking with the wrong organ, feeling yourself getting distracted-you swallow thickly as you watch a droplet of water enticingly fall just in between her breast.

You can't help yourself and apparently neither can she cos you don't move more than two steps (the curtain follows, stretches along) and yet she's closer, close enough that you can see all of her and you see that she had marks everywhere. Scratches, bruises.

What wild animal attacked her while swimming-wait a minute those are...hickeys, nail marks.

Shit. Did _you_ do that.

You reach out to touch them, to wordlessly convey your feelings, your regret about this, regret that you had marred her perfection, regret for all the little white lies that grew into even bigger ones. Regret that you couldn't take it all back. Your hand shakes as you gently trace from her arms, to her collarbone, to her face-you're transfixed- watching the trail of goosebumps that sprout at their wake, when you hear a gasp fall out of her lips and you realise with a jolt that you shouldn't be doing this- you shouldn't be distracted.

Talk first. Fix things first. Explain.

You move to pull your hand away but then her hand's grasping yours, holding it in place. Your eyes jumps to meet hers and you knew you shouldn't have. Its game over from here on out, you completely give up because you see it there, that she was completely sober now and it was clear that there was no regret on her end, only want.

You push away the white hot pang you feel striking through you at the thought of all the stuff you did and all you still want to do to Chloe.

"Chloe," you whisper, "I'm sorry." for a lot of things, for being weak, for being selfish. For lying to you.

She shakes her head and leans in and kisses your cheek, "You didn't do anything that I didn't encourage you to in the first place." she smiles saucily, you flush, she kisses you yet again this time on your nose. Your face is positively tomato red right now. You manage a smile though it's still strained.

You don't deserve her or her forgiving kisses.

She shakes her head and leans in kisses your lips softly first, then with purpose as she pushes closer till she's backed you up against the wall. Her hands find the cloth of the curtain still head tightly in your hand and pulls. The cool air that hits your body makes your body shiver, but its her eyes that make you tremble inside.

"Chloe," you gasp out, nearly going into cardiac arrest when you see her fall to her knees and slowly spread your legs, "Shouldn't we talk about this first?" you say breathlessly as she starts placing kisses up your legs, to your thighs, your eyes close and your head leans back.

"This first, talk later."

"Chloe stop." you say firmly, you don't know how you manage to do it.

She senses it, as she always does with you- she sees your regret. And maybe for her sake as well as yours she gives you an easy way out.

"Don't worry. This doesn't have to be serious. Lets not label it anything, it can be two friends just enjoying each other's presence in a new casual no strings attached way." She says though her eyes, her gentle motions seem to show the complete opposite.

"We don't need to label it." you echo, then groan out when you feel her breath right _there_.

"Okay less talking more screaming."

You know that this was stupid you were digging an even deeper hole for you to burry yourself in. But there was a certain death waiting if you said no to anything Chloe offered you that was part of her, that included her.

But what you said was the truth you never had to label anything between the two of you. It just was.

You just hoped it'd be a ltle better with your new arrangement to ease into telling her the truth, you know in your heart you wouldn't be content if you couldn't have it all with her. For now you'd have to just show her through actions that you cared for her as so much more.


End file.
